Keefaz

You would not believe a set of professional footballers could pass so poorly.

Can't make the ball stick at all here.

They absolutely love their throw-ins here.

Good first half. Under pressure now.

THAT is a fucking phenomenal line, btw.

Steven Taylor's made some daft decision today.

What a fucking waste, man, ffs.

Christ. We should take throw-in lessons from these lads.

Guffers deein' well today.

Ho, Pardew's Doing Well.

They're absolutely rimming us on Sky.

Bring it on, you red and white shitbags.

It's up to you, Pardew, PARDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.

Kimberly Rew? The Soft Boys were awesome. Kimberley, as you say, Rew. Lives in Cambridge. Pops in fairly often for guitar strings and that.

He's been more direct today than recently, lush cross for the goal as well. Best has been fantastic today as well like, playing to keep his place and does it wonderfully. Christ man, I'm a massive Ben Arfa fan, and I can't even find a place for him in our team at the moment Truth. Don't see any reason to bring him in today and I'm by no means Obertan's biggest fan, the lumpy-headed twat.

They have a midfield?

Let's go for a third. We always look balls when we try to defend a lead. Having said that, nothing this season makes sense. We'll probably style it out likes pros.

Bloke who wrote Walking On Sunshine was in the shop the other week. Nice bloke, shame about the song.

Oh, this is a good advert. Makes me wanna slash my wrists.

Piano version of Where Is My Mind? Rubbish.

"Demba Ba": what a great name to say.

Aye, really like Leon. Does a lot of donkey work and link-up that goes mostly unnoticed.

Well, that was a piece of piss.

Ball falls to Colo left-ish midfield he fires in a ball towards the head of Ba. It falls to Best who miskicks horrendously, lands spot on at Ba's feet. Tap in.

Honestly, I'd fucking love it if we scored from a throw-in.