Keefaz

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/2782/jonas1i.jpghttp://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c75/Kaizero/Jonascopy.png?t=1276561772

Tuesday 15 June 12:15pm - 2:30pm, World Cup MOTD Live: New Zealand v Slovakia BBC1 Clash of the Titans match in this year's World Cup 2:30pm - 5:00pm, World Cup Live: Ivory Coast v Portugal ITV1 Cristiano Ronaldo kicks the new WC ball three miles out of the stadium. 6:30pm - 7:00pm, World Cup: Countdown to Kick-Off ITV4 Chiles & Co. talk shit uncomfortably 7:00pm - 9:30pm, World Cup Live: Brazil v North Korea ITV1 Brazil coast to a 10-0 victory (1-3 in N. Korea) 9:30pm - 10:00pm, James Corden's World Cup Live ITV1 Arsehole tries to be funny. Tonight's unfortunate chumps are Pixie Lott, Jimmy Greaves, Eamonn Holmes. 9:30pm - 10:00pm, Football's Greatest Sky Sports 1 Tonight: Ruud Gullit, who played in the Dutch, Italian and English top flights, winning the European Cup twice with AC Milan and was named FIFA World Player of the Year in 1987. Bought Marcelino for 6m quid. Genius. 10:00pm - 10:30pm, World Cup Report Sky Sports 1 News, talking points and analysis of the major World Cup issues from South Africa. 10:35pm - 11:35pm, World Cup Highlights ITV1 Matt Smith presents highlights of today's action. Two teams with designs on going all the way to the final meet as Portugal take on the Ivory Coast in Group G. Meanwhile, Brazil begin their campaign against unknown quantity North Korea, and underdogs New Zealand face Slovakia. 11:45pm - 12:45am, WAGs, Kids and World Cup Dreams BBC3 5/5 Five WAGs experience the reality of life behind the World Cup gloss by working in some of the poorest, most deprived neighbourhoods in South Africa. Chantelle Tagoe, Ellie Darby, Elen Rivas, Amii Grove and Imogen Thomas face the stark reality of the orphan crisis, HIV pandemic and social breakdown there. The girls return to the UK, but how has the experience transformed their lives and what will they do next to help the people they met in South Africa? Think that's it.

That Jonas one, man.

Was well impressed with Elia today. Hope he gets a lot of pitch-time. Reckon he could take this WC by storm, tbh.

They're utterly shit. What's the point of getting fans from across the world together when they only thing you can hear is "BRRRRRRRRRR BRBRBBRB BRRRRRBRBRBRBRR"?

It's possible, though, innit?

Is this is a very boring World Cup or have I just seen all the bad bits? And the vuvuzelas seem to have sucked all the atmos out of the games.

Slovenia look gash.

First opportunity to post. Thought we were comfortably the better team, tbh, but for that one horrendous rick we should've walked away comfortable winners. Heskey had a very good game, I thought, but Rooney was virtually anonymous and his touch was appalling: what is up with that? If we take our second half performance into the next two games, add the clinical finishing we need, we'll be fine.

Friday 11 June 12:00pm - 1:00pm, Sky Sports 1: Football's Greatest Series which looks back at the lives and careers of some of world football's superstars. 1:00pm - 2:30pm, ITV1: World Cup Opening Ceremony A month of top football action kicks off with the traditional opening ceremony, but expect a distinctly African feel to the pre-match party in Johannesburg's Soccer City. Adrian Chiles presents the opening salvo of the World Cup, with Marcel Desailly, Andy Townsend, Lucas Radebe and Francois Pienaar. Commentary on the ceremonials from Peter Drury. * 2:30pm - 5:00pm, ITV1: South Africa v Mexico * 6:00pm - 7:00pm, Sky Sports 1: Football's Greatest * 7:00pm - 10:00pm, BBC1: Uruguay v France * 7:00pm - 7:30pm, Sky Sports 1: World Cup Report News, talking points and analysis of the major World Cup issues from South Africa. 10:00pm - 10:50pm, Channel 4: 8 Out of 10 Cats World Cup Special Jimmy Carr presents a special World Cup edition of the topical comedy panel show. Captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford lead teams made up of stars from the worlds of football, comedy and entertainment, battling it out in a show full of World Cup-themed surveys, polls and statistics. 10:00pm - 10:30pm, BBC2: MOTD 2010 FIFA World Cup Highlights from the opening day of the 2010 World Cup, presented by Colin Murray. Hosts South Africa kicked the tournament off against Mexico in Johannesburg, hoping to give an expectant nation the winning start it craved. France know all about delivering on home soil, having won the 1998 World Cup final in Paris. How did they fare today against Uruguay in Group A's other match? 10:00pm - 10:30pm, Sky Sports 1: World Cup Report News, talking points and analysis of the major World Cup issues from South Africa. 10:30pm - 11:00pm, Sky Sports 1: Football's Greatest 10:35pm - 12:05am, BBC3: England's Worst Ever Football Team As World Cup excitement reaches fever pitch, a quest to reveal the worst England team of all time. Through a mix of archive footage and talking heads, including Razor Ruddock and Mark Lawrenson, the show is a light-hearted and somewhat heated debate of who should win a place on the shamed team. No-one is safe, as the criteria is not just based on blunders on the pitch but also dodgy haircuts and misdemeanours that have occurred in nightclubs and recording studios. Add any I've missed, plsthxbye!

Christ. You've been busy.

It is in the home of football.

IT'S WORLD CUP DAY!

Like some of Paddy's daft specials: How many times will David Beckham be mentioned during England's 1st game? 0 14/1 1-3 13/8 4-6 6/4 7-9 9/4 10+ 6/1

Blimey. Good odds, that. Honduras 9/4 not to get a point. Couldn't believe that, especially in that group. What's the odds on them not scoring a goal? :s

Blimey. Good odds, that.

I don't see Aaron Mokoena. He was in the green bikini on the right.

She puts on a canny show, like. She's basically got every single person in S. Africa onstage with her at the minute.

Copied.

Shakira's teeth are brighter than the sun.

I think I wrote a poem just like this song when I was 5. Gonna be late Put the beans on the plate I think they're great Whatcha mean you don't rate them?

Balls. Just realised I won't be able to put any bets on over the weekend, either. Thus: * Germany 8/15 to beat Oz * Over 3.5 goals in the Holland-Denmark match :S @ 9/4

Alicia Keys has come dressed as the Predator.

* Spain & Brazil in the final - 10/1 * Spain & Argies in the final - 25/1 * Fabiano golden boot - 12/1 * Torres golden boot - 31/1 * 10p on S. Africa v Mexico - 15/8 * Greece, Argies + Us for Saturday

He'll improve, no doubt. Shame it has to be on our time.