SEMTEX

I've got out of bed and wonga'd up for the second half. Let's see if it helps.

false nineeee

Never a yellow.

Pressure the cunts ffs. Just defend for one minute. Pls.

Oh shit. Dummy is gan centre back against Suarez.

I guess we're just defending till the half.... Never mind.

So, er, whose gonna defend now?

Gol.

Krul having a word.

Delightful

Fucks sake

Suarez doing his standard grimace and limp

Canny bash

2.2% of corners.

PANICCC

What the heck

Has anyone said anything witty about the Pardeau Faux Neuf?

It means sexually active. But with tact.

I'm not I'd be classifying this start as very good. We've passed the ball a bit, and haven't conceded. It's a half decent start.

It's Chris Waddle here how can anyone say he's hard to understand.

Jesus.

It's been a while since England invented a new game in order to be World Champion for a few years. We're due something new an awesome. I'm thinking Croquet, but with roller blades. Underwater.

It's the same fucking game

SAMBA

My biggest criticism of the England team is that we struggle to put six goals past Brasil in the Maracanã.