BONTEMPI

When you see how his hair lines up, you know there's going to be no link from back to front. He's fucked away 80 million and we look utter dog shit. Ashley's and Charnley's choice and he's royally fucked them both. Wonder how long before we see them wield the axe.

Oh god no. May as well not turn up for the second half.

Only one dick head to blame for that.

Need to get Uncle Ben on to see what he can do.

He can seriously fuck off after this shit.

Nah it is.

Plan B?

Winny done anything yet?

All that money spent on what?

Win or Bust! C'mon boys.

Do or Die Stevie.

Sorry, can't quite Mbemba that.

Well now just pick which one is best for the job. Colback it is then. You know that shudder sideshow bob does when he stands on the rake and it hits him in the face ? Oh yes. I like the directors cut of that.

De Gea looks like he was trapped in some lift doors.

Well now just pick which one is best for the job. Colback it is then.

Literally everyone giving him the tosser stare.

Cheese and Onion all round.

Nope, it's the Pardew Pig Shit Pattern. Can rely on it like Greenwich mean time.

If Palace somehow sleep walked into relegation, it would be epic.

Home games I think we'll get a few wins. It's just the mentality away from home that's the biggest concern. I don't see Shelvey and the new boys changing that too much. From now to the end of the season we need to go for the throat like Leicester have this season.

Hmmmmm that looks shite. Just goes to show what a fuck up McClaren made at Watford. A win is a must tomorrow tbh.

Yeah, no wins and only two points from the last seven matches, weird that like Don't you love being right.

Reckon it's something really smart and thoughtful, like this: http://i.imgur.com/wmZTG1G.gif With over his misses lower down.

Ok where's the cap for loose change and the dog on a rope?

OK. Signed players who need to progress themselves due to issues at their previous clubs. No defenders and no striker who is premiership proven, could see us still struggle.