Memphis

Definitely looking better, as if it was possible to look worse. Wasteful ball from Dummett after a nice overlapping run and good ball from Sammy.

What is going on with Mapou??

Vuckic might as well just head to Bradford already.

Stevenage a goal up at Everton... Martinez out, Pardew in

Fringe players certainly look motivated by the stellar man-management of Alan Pardew.

Morecambe = Arsenal

Every corner is a nightmare

Good news - it's getting slightly easier to determine which is the League Two side.

Love the way we smoothly pass it around our own box four or five times, then back to Elliot for a random punt to someone. Really a good way to maximise your athletic and skill advantages.

http://cdn3.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/2013-August-25-23-7-13.jpg Strong work from ESPN there.

Speaks volumes about the state of affairs when we're so desperately crying out for additions yet can hardly be arsed to be linked with anyone. We've got a week left in the window, have significant needs, had money to spend as of June - though that seems to have been forgotten now - yet are clutching at straws.

I don't quite get the mentality of those saying it's useless to complain about Pardew as he's just a symptom of a bigger problem. Surely if you had cancer, for example, and it caused you to develop severe nausea, you'd want to at least take something to make the nausea go away. Sure, it doesn't cure the cancer, but it does make a big difference in how you feel. While Ashley's the owner, nothing good will happen, granted. But at least a manager who spoke with positivity and used the players to their best effect would help make things a bit better, right? It isn't a complete inevitability that we have to play such a dour style of football even if the club itself is rancid from top to bottom.

Last time Newcastle scored 3 in a Premier League match - Sissoko's debut brace leading to the 3-2 Chelsea win on 2 February. Prior to that we scored 3 against Arsenal and ManUtd but lost both matches as you'll recall. The only other time last season was 3-0 win against Wigan on 3 December.

Beyond embarrassing for us. Cardiff score 3 against Manchester City. We've scored 4 goals in total since 30 March.

It's as refreshing and enjoyable to watch teams playing with positivity and confidence, playing as a unit together, as it depressing to watch us play as with negativity and poor tactics as a group of 11 talented individuals.

Got both decisions wrong, but in the process ended up getting everything right.

Spurs/Swansea is an enjoyable match, two teams with smart managers, well-coaches with tactical instructions quite clear. Makes for a stunning difference compared with yesterday. Cardiff should be up 2. Kompany's absence is huge. Amazing how Routledge gets better when he leaves while so many players get worse as they play for us.

Over the last three home matches, which we've lost by a combined 0-7, we've averaged one shot on target per match. We haven't scored a goal at SJP since last March. Opponents have scored 10 goals at SJP in that same space. I don't really know what else can be said.

Was looking at our stats on whoscored...they seem to have summed us up rather well: http://i.imm.io/1fZiz.jpeg

NBC updated the Android version of their app and it actually works - sometimes - on my S4. Still not perfect but a million miles better.

Headline: Pardew believes Newcastle should have won http://www1.skysports.com/watch/video/sports/football/8887333/pardew-believes-newcastle-should-have-won Explain to me how you believe you should win a football match without a single shot on target.

Movement off the ball especially in the center has been nonexistent for a long time with us. It's obviously something Pardew's unable to facilitate one way or the other. We were so static today as we approached the final third - there were so few options other than usually HBA but occasionally Sammy, Sissoko, or Debuchy bombing forward and trying to make something happen. It's gone on far too long for it to be merely an issue of personnel. It's why I'm so indifferent about the transfer window - even if we bring in quality, we tend to coach it right out of players.

Some serious Stockholm syndrome happening if you were even remotely pleased with that performance.

We were marginally better in the period when it was the three of Shola, Gouffrran, and Sammy up front. Marginally. But it just only highlights the point that we do not have the manager at the moment to get the best out of what is a decent, if small, squad. We have technically gifted players without a lot of physicality - Sissoko aside - and Pardew's prehistoric mindset doesn't allow for the kind of movement needed to take advantage of their strengths. Oh, and fuck Cabaye. I saw that somehow Baines and Fellaini both managed to put in a shift for Everton at Goodison despite interest from Manchester united. How in the fuck did they manage that?