Memphis

We're in slow motion. It's like a team full of Sholas.

One of the most flagrant and embarrassing dives you'll ever see.

Kicking off a bit. Hoilett with a SHOCKING dive - hugely embarrassing on the replay.

Williamson is shit, really. Becoming a liability.

We do look unfocused. Looks very much like Pardew's set the stall out to frustrate, slow down, play deliberately, and it's led to us being very static and slack - a bit like Brighton really. Not much in the way of activity in the final third.

Sounds like there are 50 people there. Ewood's got the atmosphere of an autopsy viewing.

Acres of space all over for them on both sides. Simpson is being dragged way too far inside. And Hoilett's already skinned Santon pretty easily once...

Simpson is nowt more than an average RB but he is WORLD CLASS at clearing off the line.

Gary Cotterill could not look less interested. Not that I blame him, standing outside Loftus Road and all. What a shit deadline day.

Certainly expected it. Had it been the other way around, we all would have been furious at a player for lashing out at Yohan like that. it is an area of his game he needs to sort out. He is an elegant player with an occasional nasty streak. It was always going to cause a problem at some point.

All supporters - particularly those who traveled - are owed an apology from the starting XI and especially from Pardew for setting our stall out to draw with fucking Brighton. The team's attitude was reflective of an overly cautious manager far too satisfied with 0-0.

Both teams truthfully deserved to go out of the Cup after that effort. Shocking attitude from ours though.

This cup exit is on Pardew again. Trying a "tactical masterclass" against fucking Brighton. Worked a treat.

He annoys me more than any other player.

Really predictable. Pacy frontman embarrasses our slow back line playing far too high considering their lack of pace. Shola up front = no threat in the box. Cabaye's nasty streak was always going to catch him out eventually but this is the worst time to do it considering Tiote's absence. All in all, it's gone about as badly as it could have.

After a miserable first 20 minutes, we established good possession for the most part, final third is totally shit as expected. Dembas can't get back fast enough. Passing it around well enough, couple of scares from Buckley against Santon - Davide's concentration seems to wane from time to time.

So poor in the final third. Ameobi as a lone striker forces you into tactics like this - long ball that's incompatible with the ballplaying talent we've got in the midfield.

I thought you were exaggerating about the camera angle, so I turned it on... Fuck me it really is FM 12. Can't wait for the halftime team talk options.

Excellent goal and his workrate was very good. His winning the ball from Ruiz led to him setting up Guthrie for the first. He kept on trying, unlike the two "forwards" we used today.

Double Demba Hat Trick would have still seen us win this.

Well, this should at least dispel any notion we're OK in defence. Spend a little more, please.

Think we've sussed out that Williamson just isn't pacy enough to deal with these. So did Martin Jol - eventually.

Very good.

Never have I been so unmoved by a Ben Arfa goal. /wanking very slowly and impassively

Better strikers in the first half would have seen us up 2-0 or 3-0.