Memphis

No one gets out of this without blame. Trying to pinpoint one player in this shit sandwich is pointless. The team once believed, now they don't. Simple as.

Williamson is fucking shit. Colo's been bad today, too, of course, but Williamson is nowhere near good enough.

Nope. Lambsarse is, though.

Solid. Willicini bossing it. Fuck me.

In all seriousness, the goal now is to not get anyone sent off and to keep the scoreline halfway respectable for the sake of our goal difference (and whatever is left of morale in the squad).

All we need is for our strikeforce of Leon Best, Nile Ranger, Peter Lovenkrands, and Kevin Nolan to score four against a team that's only conceded one this calendar year. Looks good, guys!

I'm actually a bit more irritated by the apology than the comments themselves. I suppose it's a bit much to expect the club captain to have a certain level of empathy for the rank and file supporters. You would think a simple "I'm sorry for deciding to give an interview to Liverpool's media outlet" would suffice, but he can't even do that properly. He is utterly divorced from the reality of what it means for the fans. Great. I am still waiting for this to emerge: Suspect I'll be waiting a while.

Good post Obi. Link play was sadly missing. As others have pointed out, Tiote is a nice partner for Nolan because he so effectively does so much of the work in midfield, covering acres of space, closing down opponents, breaking up play, leaving Nolan free to faff about and slide into better attacking positions. Guthrie is an exceedingly poor man's Tiote in that regard, leaving us with a toothless, immobile midfield centre. I would have loved to have seen what Ireland could have done in place of Best, changing to a 4-5-1 type look. Think it would have done wonders for the flow of play in the final third, and certainly would have given us more ideas with which to work.

Teams that get relegated are teams that don't score goals. On a related note, our strikers are Leon Best, Nile Ranger, and Peter Lovenkrands. If you're not at least a little worried now, you're lying to yourself.

This is dire stuff. Can only hope the return of MEGATIOTE will inspire something. We were so so shit today I'm not even mad, just dumbfounded.

Kakuta looks class. We look ass.

Nile Ranger Peter Lovenkrands Leon Best Phil Airey Wow. Are we Notts County in disguise?

Colo stepped up, Williamson played him onside. Easy easy goal that. That's us done then.

Nolan has been so so so so so so so so bad.

Enrique - holy shit what a man he is

Good save.

Glenn Roeder does, although he could do with another look at him to be sure.

I actually think Ireland would be useful here in a 4-5-1, shame he's unavailable.

No link play, no nothing. We don't look like we could score on an empty pitch right now.

Only one team's come out after the half.

Nolan looks even slower than usual tonight.

It's playing to feet that's slowing us down, tbh. Should have been more clear - I meant more on the pitch into space. Better off the ball movement would be crucial there.

Buildup from us has been very very glacially slow. Need to play to feet a bit more.

Commentator sounds incredulous: "Nile Ranger and Leon Best are Newcastle's front two!"

Shola's coming off, looks like. Good thing we've got a lot of strikers.