Yorkie

Believe nothing, assume engagement farming/agent bidding for everything. Fingers in ears and just wait for the cards to fall; it's the only healthy way to endure this miserable business.

Meaningless shite. Pray for anyone who ever enjoyed transfer patter. If it hasn't jumped the shark, it's on the way to doing.

I couldn't give much of a shite if Ekitike went to Liverpool really. It's theoretically more galling, because it felt like he was destined for us but, ultimately, he has absolutely no affiliation to Newcastle so I couldn't give a monkeys until he does. In the end, he's just another opponent. I've faith that we'd get someone else really good.

Couldn't give a shite about this bloke now. Liverpool and the lackey journos have got me rattled. I wouldn't have the nuts for this business, like; fine we'll just take DCL.

Whoever we recruit this summer (thinking vaguely realistically), we're weaker if we sell Isak. He's the golden ticket.

It'll probably be the most I've ever wanted a departing player to succeed tbh. It's right that he's going, but I'll probably get a little pang of sadness when I watch his first interview there. He's been a massive part of the post-takeover era: a good character, a good player, and one of the biggest contributors to us regaining an identity - both in his Geordie-ness and in how he's delivered for Howe. He'll always have those goals in the Southampton semi and the one against PSG. He was a really, really effective player for us at that time and no one can take those huge moments away from him. All the best, Longy.

Feel like he’s gone earlier with info this summer. He used to only tweet when it was a done deal. I swear sometimes we're generally just being played, constantly, so the engagement is managed and maximised. These cunts all know each other; certainly the sprawling rabble of hacks with an affiliation to the Athletic network. Ornstein and Laurens are probably in the same WhatsApp group.

This is it for me, brother. Tell mom I asked for colons.

Bingo Yeah I think this seems quite plausible tbh. With the added bonus of potentially unsettling the player.

Could say there's conflicting reports.

If he wants to leave it's only going one way.

Two summers in a row they've tried to unsettle one of our most prized assets (Gordon last year). Fuck off. It's not like the club isn't already doing enough to convince the likes of him to stick around, but we could do with making progress on either a new contract or elite signings. Ideally both. All hinges on him now we're at this stage. Fuss for a move or don't.

Blimey, lads. I tried to make it appear as neutral as possible based on the two reports.

How can all these geezers have such different information? God it's all so fucking tedious.

Yawnstein on SSN: Working on it, no agreement, deal not close, no guarantee, actively exploring, significant expense, ~£75m but Frankfurt want more, unaware of personal terms being agreed. Nothing done yet.

Oo Miguel Delaney too. Like liquid gold all over my eardrums.

Again I'm not saying that's the preferred formation, just something we might do.

Yep, absolutely this. I see no reason why Isak would want to leave anyway, but this provides just another reason to stay.

Aye I'm not saying it would be our preferred formation necessarily, just can he play it. Feels like something we could theoretically see more of, particularly in the CL.

Yellow one is already for sale and has that two-tone effect you can see in that pink number. https://shop.newcastleunited.com/products/newcastle-united-adidas-25-26-trefoil-goalkeeper-shirt

What about the yellow one...?

Does he work in the 5-2-3 we saw in fits and starts last season? I know we were bobbins against Everton on the last day but against the right opponents I've thought it's looked really good. It was a great watch against Arsenal in the cup and Chelsea at home, until they went a man down and banjaxed our gameplan, the hateful cunts. Pope Schär Botman Burn Tino Hall Tonali Bruno Ekitike Gordon Isak

Laurens is pretty legit isn't he? Don't really associate him with transfer stuff but he's a 'big name' as far as journos go. French connection too obvs. Blimey.

Assuming Palmer knows who he is (we were doubting this when he received his medal before the trophy lift...) he's gone right up in my estimation for that reaction.