brummie

Even worse - keepers in tracksuit bottoms. We had an emergency loan about 15 years ago of one who wore them, Kiraly I think his name was. Shit. Also, another shit keeper, pretty sure I remember Lee Clamp wearing them whilst playing for our blue neighbours against us a while back. Jesus. He was mega shit.

Yeah, I know. Rodri is just a throwback. Although, being a traditionalist, we really need to see more players wearing long sleeve shirts again.

Rodri does. Why does he do that? Such a brilliant player wears his shirts like he's never worn kit before.

£4.5m tops, mate.

Ah, i see why you would assume that, lack of clarity from me. I wasn't suggesting the upfront bit was anything to do with PSR, I mentioned up front and bonuses to illustrate that the actual fee was much less than what was reported.

I heard - from my often successful ITK contact - that Baeana was the one Emery really wants. If we sell Diaby for some of the money being talked about, I am definitely up for that. If we were then to ship Duran out for that figures he is being talked about, that puts us not just safe in PSR terms, but in an absolutely excellent position.

Not sure why Saudis would owe us any favours.

Rumours we are about to get 65m for Diaby, who we paid £36m up front and £10m in future bonuses. If so, that's a decent bit of business.

Yes, minimum 8.

Not sure we've downgraded at all. Luiz was poor the second half of last season. We've added Illing-Junior, Barrenechea from Juventus, Onana and Maatsen at left back, Ross Barkley and, err, Dobbin, plus some Serbian right back. We've got Mings, Kamara (who was our most important player until his injury), Jacob Ramsey and Buendia coming back from long term injury (they managed about 3 games between them last season), too, and it's only the middle of July. The point about the CL is true, and that's why we're adding more quality to the squad. I'm happy we've clearly thought about who we want and cracked on with it nice and early, even if it is difficult with PSR. It will be hard, yes, but what's the point if you don't have a go at it.

We suffered in terms of form last season when Boubacar Kamara did his ACL, mostly because as part of that double pivot, he allowed Luiz (whose form also suffered without him) to get forward more and contribute to the game. Although we have signed Barrenechea from Juventus who looks a solid DM. It looks as though the Duran to Chelsea dead is getting resurrected (I fucking hope so), which means that the only places i think we still need to look are up front and right back. I suspect we'll see Moreno and Dendoncker leave, at some point soon, too. And maybe Diego Carlos.

Actually Kellyman isn’t home grown. We paid Derby 600k to bring him into to our academy and then two years later we sold him for £19m. Football is like Ultimate Team these days. God I used to love the buying and selling in that.

We sold 30m worth of home grown a few weeks ago. Then Luiz and got two cheaper players in for him plus another 20m. When people raise an eyebrow at our spending, they rarely think of the clever selling stuff. Monchi is a demon. Look at Cameron Archer. Home grown and sold to Sheffield United last year for 19m. Under that deal they paid us 9m as a first instalment with the agreement that if they got relegated they’d send him back and just not pay the rest. So we booked 9m for lending them a player who had barely featured in the PL for one season. And now we will sell him again. You have to be good at this nonsense, and the off pitch management of the club they have put in is absolutely top notch.

Chelsea for 50m, and they're selling us Cucurella for 50m in return, in a TOTALLY SEPARATE DEAL.

Philogene coming back to us - good move. Hull have a 30% sell on clause. So we sold them a player with a sell on clause, then bought him back ourselves, pocketing the 30%.

Ollie Watkins. nation, you are welcome.

Looks like we are buying Philogene back from Hull. Interestingly with a reduced price to reflect the sell on clause we’d get if they sold him to anyone else. Was really surprised when we sold him so cheaply in the first place.

mine isn’t so don’t ban me please.

Easily. We've just shifted a couple of kids for £30m plus Douglas Luiz. This shit all adds up. I would be amazed if we were after Felix, though, and also disappointed. He's available for €32m in some shonky 50% deal.

Ha ha Similarly, we just signed Samuel Illing Junior, which will be hellish for those of us who remember Run DMC.

The big 6. Including a club whose last league win was closer to the reign of Queen Victoria than to today. what a load of horseshit.

That is it. It doesn’t matter. They might as well be selling you some furniture. A collection of northern soul vinyl. A 16 reg Kia Sportage. A wardrobe (ikea Askedal unassembled). That little actor in all those Shane Meadows films. it’s all about the numbers.

Or "Oh, hang on, you already play for us"

Yeah. Aren't they specifically being referred to as 'separate deals' rather than swaps, mostly? Obviously, if i swap a 20m player with you, that's one thing, but if i sell you a player for 20 and you sell me one for 20, we're both claiming the full 20 revenue in one nice immediate PSR satisfying hit whilst spreading the 20 we spent over 5 years. I mean, it is very clever pushing money around but clubs are forced to do this because of badly thought out rules that clearly do not work. Sawiris (our chairman) did an interview with the Torygraph the other week in which he said these rules are anti-competitive, entrench the leading clubs, and reduce football to an accountancy thing where you can't improve your team even if you have the money, and want to do so. He's spot on. The sound of the PL going on about investigating 'bad faith' transfers is ridiculous. I mean, are they going to investigate high value sales of home grown players when it is precisely because of their own stupid rules that home grown players have become so attractive to sell?

Or "How much?"