brummie

Thanks, that's very kind of you.

Aye you have to get rid of Arty Ziff, so some other mug employs him, and forthwith, you then have someone daft enough to buy all of the shite he's bought for your club. That's the amazing thing. It's fucking ace. He's going to have at least one of James Collins and Stephen Warnock, and very possibly both of them. Ask any Villa fan you like, there's not one of us who wants to see that toxic fucking defence again, and those two were amongst the worst bits of it. Already rumours about the execrable Alan Hutton going to Stoke. Wasn't even taken to our US tour. Honestly, I'm so happy recently.

Incidentally, that ^^^^ really is exactly what will happen. Just watch.

There's a thread on that Mackem board with the title "all the stuff them Villa fans said" which goes on to claim it is all bollocks. You can imagine the stuff that was said by our fans aboiut MON - largely, the stuff I too say, as it's the fucking truth. Anyway. Said thread basically accuses us of being bitter / ungrateful whatever, but oh, the irony, for their own board is now filling up nicely with threads complaining about MON for doing THE EXACT SAME THINGS WE SAID HE'D DO. And to think, they're only at stage 1 or 2 of a MON pre-season at the moment. Stage 1 - for ages, nothing happens other than people leaving. Stage 2 - signs someone in the slightly uninspiring, but "he can only add to the squad" mould. Someone he's worked with before usually. This time, Cuellar. Stage 3 - preseason is well under way now, things aren't looking too good, fans getting really scared at skimpiness of squad and lack of action. People start talking about how tired the squad looked at the end of the season (season in which for 90 percent of games, he's started the same XI). Stage 4 - this is the point at which Martin stirs, and realises he'd best do some business. Not having a scouting network of any sort (and this isn't an exaggeration, at Villa, we had one single man, Ian Storey-Moore, and that was it), Martin decides to buy British / British based, as he's running out of time, and he's seen the players on MOTD before. At this point, he will make a truly baffling signing. This happens at this stage almost every season. Imagine our situation when, awash with Lerner's initial millions, Martin made some of these signings: Zat Knight (to replace Gary Cahill), Marlon Fucking Harewood (three year contract, big lad), Emile Shitting Heskey (while Sunderland are signing Darren Bent). You get the drift. At this point, loyalists will say "I'll judge him on what he does in our shirt" - basically, making excuses, acting encouraged, whilst actually, crying inside. Stage 5 - approaching the end of the window. The season has started. The majority of fans are now at the point of hysteria. The average fan is thinking DO SOMETHING, IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, FUCKING SIGN SOMETHING. Stage 6 - deadline day approaches. Martin realises he's in big fucking trouble and needs bodies in fast. Calls meetings with agents of players of unspectacular quality. Agents aware Martin's running out of trouble, ask for ludicrous terms. Habib Beye's agent, fresh from trying to negotiate his player into Hull City, for example, is aware he's onto a winner here - "well, he's 32 now, so shall we say three years at 40k a week?" Deal done. Here comes Emile Heskey's agent. Martin really wants the big man, he knows him, he's worked with him before, he loves a big lad up front. "So, Mart, how does a 3.5 year contract to take Emile through to 35 years of age, at 65k a week sound?" Of course, Martin has no choice, he can't do anything. Three or four years of this ^^^^ you end up with a load of players of unspectacular quality, on big, big money and long contracts, and your wage bill is 90 percent of your turnover. Still, you can always get Martin to move some of them on, can't you? But, of course, Martin's fucked off by that point, such transfer dealing is beneath him.

Thereby rendering the signing of the useless ginger 60 yard lumper Collins from us more possible.

Well, since MON left, it hasn't been that rare. Houllier was only here long enough to buy 3, and one of those was from abroad. Even McLeish signed Holman. Holman, El Ahmadi and Vlaar suggest we've got some kind of Dutch scouting thing happening.

I don't know what all that kerfuffle was over this last week. Anyway, please, black and white friends, join me in a moment of prayer - any god you choose will do - to hope that this will mean the man they know as "James Collins" shall now be free to move to Sunderland.

Porn Dwarf and Mr Tumnus have a long record of shit like this in the name of publicity.

*punches the air* yes, you fucking beauty! getting shot of both of them at the same time, perfect.

Is this that Peace Cup thing? We won that two years ago. Big money in that.

I've just been reading that horrific Sunderland forum. They seem to be getting an idea of what MON's transfer work is like.

The problem is, he is lazy in the transfer market. That's what it is, laziness.

Regular as clockwork. Richardson wants out so expect Stephen Warnock to be a Sunderland player come next season. This one too, please.

And even better, with James Collins. Come on, pubehead, take him off our hands.

Sunderland linked with McGeady and Maloney today. Fuck me, he's still living in 2009.

The lad said he only wanted to play for Spurs, but has been led astray by his agent. Still, new intergalactic 200,000 capacity stadium on the way, and Levy has told AVB to go out and get 1986 Maradona.

How much did you's buy him for? 4 million of your British pounds. I don't care what we get back for him, I just want him gone, he's that fucking useless.

Villa left for their US tour this morning, and Alan Hutton is not making the trip. Please please please please please please please let that mean someone is in the process of buying him.

Do you really need him back? I also think you'd be absolutely nuts to fork out stupid 25m style money for him. I genuinely think Ashley pulled off the transfer coup of the last ten years with that deal. Having him back for anything but a really modest fee - when you don't really need him - would just detract from that.

Apparently a few people were doing the Villa Park tour thus morning and were in the dressing rooms when Lambert walks in, giving a player a quick look around the ground. Turns out in was Ron Vlaar. I hope this means the end of James Collins.

I can think of a few times last season when we played some really, really nice stuff on the ground. The problem was, it was invariably first half only, and disappeared to the usual negative shit in the second half, similar to what you saw. It was weird, as if his caution mechanism kicked in. The only time I remember us playing really well for 90 mins was Arsenal at home (when we played them off the park despite losing to a last min goal), and Chelsea away. We played Stoke at Villa Park towards the end of the season. We were the better side over most of the game and Weimann scored a lovely goal. Then on 82 mins, Stoke equalised. On full time, McFuck did a victorious fist pump and waved at someone up in the executive seats. That says it all. We were all gutted at throwing away 2 points to Stoke at home. he was delighted with a point. Almost 40 years I've been watching us, and I've seen worse Villa teams (the one that got relegated five years after winning the European Cup was a stinker), but I've never see us be so utterly spineless as he sent us out last year. We were routinely embarassed to watch. It was actually the first time i have repeatedly been embarassed of my team for a prolonged period. If I weren't a Villa fan last season, I'd have been praying for us to go down, so spineless and ambitionless were we. Thank god he has gone. I still can't believe he was ever appointed in the first place, mind. I really can't.

Isn't that just the list for every managerial vacancy ever? It really is just that endless merry-go-round where really unaccomplished, shit managers get linked with every job. I mean, how can any chairman be steeeyyoooooopid enough to employ McFuck now? Some moron will, though.

Sadly predictable. Cue big name manager coming in and a Leicester like season this year. Big name manager? http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11727/7890967/McLeish-in-Forest-frame Those poor, poor people.

this is what should have happened- taking it to criminal court is ridiculous imo. Not sure I agree on that. If I went into the street and racially abused someone, and a copper saw it, I'd expect to find myself in legal bother, too. The fact the FA dealt with it doesn't really come into it in terms of the application of the law.

Anyone who sells Andy Carroll for THIRTY FIVE MILLION POUNDS and asks for a sell on clause clearly knows how to enjoy themselves in the football business.