brummie

Insane to have a European final in a ground that looks like somewhere Bournemouth would play.

God, the fawning. I'll tell you what West Ham meant to me for most of my life, the mortal fear of getting my head kicked in by the hateful fucking cunts who supported them once a season.

That crossed arms thing that West Ham fans do. How long have they been doing it? Is it a new thing? It is horrific.

Nice to see Can't Control again. Shame he's so excited he can't actually speak properly.

Spurs' root problem is that they are so desperate to be seen as big, as glamorous, as successful, they'll make decisions which are largely based on what it makes other people think of them. They would never, ever have appointed Eddie Howe around the time you did, for example, for precisely that reason. As a result, they employ the likes of Mourinho and Conte because they think, hey, that's what big clubs do, they employ people like that. Then they get linked with Nagelsmann because, hey, he's European and trendy, and that's what big clubs do, too. When they do get a Conte, what happens? He realises it's basically a job where it keeps them happy because he's so swoony and Levy looks good to his mates, and the fans can act like they're part of some football aristocracy rather than a bunch of arriviste non-achievers, but they get treated like shit, because the manager doesn't give a fuck really, he knows they're lucky to have him. It's an imbalanced relationship. So maybe this time the dynamic will be a bit different, and a tubby Australian from the Scottish league will treat them with a bit of respect back rather than what they got from Conte and Mourinho, which was basically to treat them like some fat granny they picked up down at Julie's on the Quayside at 2am* because, hey, at least it's a bit of leg-over, it's better than nothing. But it probably don't, and Ryan Mason will be there again with his hopeless, comatose teenage stoner facial expression on MOTD most weeks by January or February. * apologies, my Newcastle cultural references are decades out of date, but if you wanted to pick up a ropey granny in the late 1980s, Julies was the place to do it.

Any attempt at cartel-ish maximum wage agreements would be contrary to multiple laws. impossible.

I very much hope so.

Every time I hear “did well in Scotland” I feel sick. that’s how we used to justify McLeish. And then Gerrard. Although McLeish at least did do well there. After the long process they’ve had, it is strange to end up here after such a procession of big names.

That cunt wants arresting.

There's more plastic in that stadium today than there is floating around in the Pacific. I turned it straight off. I don't want either team to win. Is that possible?

Ashley Young released. I am really surprised, he's been excellent since he came back to us, incredible for a (nearly) 38 year old. Hope he gets a decent contract.

I haven't seen him speaking at the time he joined you, but I am prepared to bet everything I own (except my cat, I like her) that 'barely spoke English' is a wildly inaccurate description. For a start, he's Dutch, most of them speak better English than we do.

Yeah but even if that is true, Maguire at his best isn't something we've seen for about 7 years now. He might get himself back there with a new start, and I hope he does, but I'd bet everything I own he doesn't come to us. I'd also quibble the idea he's twice as good as Mings in any circumstances. Since Emery arrived, Mings has been absolutely imperious. I don't know why so many away fans (not having pop at you here, just mean in general) don't seem to get that. He's been absolutely superb in a period where he's had to absolutely change his style of play. Maguire will go somewhere like Everton.

Not a prayer - who is he getting ahead of, Mings, Konsa or Carlos? None of them. If we buy a CB it'll be someone particularly good on the ball and better than what we have, and Maguire isn't either of those.

YES PLEASE.

Palace have always struck me as a sort of 1980s manufactured nothingness.

Says who? Football Insider?

I don't think they'll do quite that badly, but you are right in that that selling / buying / unearthing gems cycle alone is not a sustainable long term model, it takes one bum crop to blow it up. Like you said, Southampton were hailed as the incarnation of the 'well run club' not that long ago, but it only lasted as long as Liverpool were happy to buy their best players most years. Then on top of that they are going to be at risk of losing their manager. They did well replacing Potter, but when you are subject to so much churn in your set up, you're walking a very fine line indeed. I hope De Zerbi doesn't do something stupid and go and join Spurs now, that would be so depressing for football, but the fact that there's a real risk around that is concerning. When a club's instinctive thought after a superb season is "Shit, the manager might leave", then you know they're under threat. It is depressing that football has to be like that, but that's the way it is unfortunately.

What a remarkable job Emery has done, incredible to finish 7th given we started playing in late November when he turned up.

Everton stubbornly rusting away at the bottom of the pan like a turd that won't flush and can't just be pissed in half.

Losing a play off final is absolutely spirit crushing on the day, it was for us against Fulham. As it turned out, it was easily the best thing that has happened to the club in a long time. Anyway. I reckon if Luton go up, they'll go back down with fewer than 15 points

When you put it like that ....

Yep, thank God we've got our way more competitive 'five of the last six'!

As a neutral, the best one I've seen was Hearts throwing it away in 1986. The scenes of crying fans were genuinely quite touching. Obviously Liverpool 1989 as well, but that wasn't touching, just fucking hilarious.

The Dortmund manager looks like the type you'd see in a large group of German lads on holiday in the Costa Del Sol in the late 1980s, throwing beer around and dancing to Rock Me Amadeus.