Novocastrian

Who you talking about? Benfica are bang up for this, they haven't won a European trophy since emwe have!

Perhaps the guy who got kicked in the Jaw and knocked out. Glad you can see on TV but I'm at other end if ground. Is he ok? Or is he running around like he's a new born rabbit? I'm really concerned.

Jesus, what's the hold up

You're drunker than I thought mate. Lol yeah, my mate just told me the score. Ok: disclaimer, match reports by be slightly awry due to Super Bock

H-T 1-1.

Bifanas.

Just saw Roeder in the stand.

Why 'get in'? f*** you, you like kebabs or you have something against Benfica? Because the Turks don't dive all over the place? Ever watched football?

Goal? Fucking have it!

Why 'get in'? f*** you, you like kebabs or you have something against Benfica? Bit of both really. Mate, have a word m, Benfica are a great club (and I favour Sporting) so come on!

Why 'get in'? Fuck you, you like kebabs or you have something against Benfica?

1-1 Fener scored.

Pen to Fener.

Ok I'm really drunk so don't read tooth into my in match analysis. Great atmosphere here though.

Benfica well on top at the moment.

1-0 Benfica!

Posting live from the Benfica-Fenwt game. Great turn out, great atmosphere.

I've had every home shirt since the mid 1980s and I won't buy that shirt. Wonga can fuck right off and take their creepy TV ads with them.

Me too, and that's with us getting 1 point in the last three games (against QPR) and Wigan getting 5 points.

Has Ron Manager been mentioned?

Horses are too big but I feel like punching a hedgehog.

We are in the cack now.

Me too, been hovering around the news feeds at work all day and progressively getting more and more angry; now I'm fucking seething.

They didn't do enough but the game was lost before it had kicked off. Do you not credit players (or individuals) with any human agency? Pardew is not controlling the players movements from the side of the pitch. I manage people and, in turn, am managed by others higher up the food chain. I wouldn't dream of under performing in order to make my boss's plan purposely fail, no matter how I'll thought out I felt it was. Why? Because it's unprofessional and the impact on my organisation, which I actually care about, could be disastrous. The game was lost before a ball was kicked? Shame no-one told 50,000 Toon fans beforehand.

This view lets the players off the hook. Oh, they don't like the tactics or don't like playing out of position? The poor dears, they could always fuck off and get a real job. Whilst Pardew is nominally steering the ship (or at least he's supposed to be) and is ultimately responsible for this disastrous season, the players have just participated in our worst home performance in living memory (confirmed by some fans who have been watching since the 1960s). Pardew will carry the can and he should because he is out of his depth and has patently lost the trust and support of the players but Pardew didn't take a corner during the game or hit a sloppy pass, or fail to pick up an opposition player. As clueless as Pards is I'm pretty sure he didn't instruct the players to stand still when they had the ball. Although he's obviously responsible for the amount of aimless hoofs upfield. I'm angry at Pardew but yesterday's gutless performance can largely be laid at the feet of the players who should be ashamed, as professionals, by such a capitulation.