Neil

Ended up seeing Stoke's elegant football in the flesh today. They're really shit. IMO: Elliot - fuck all to do Debuchy - hit and miss, but looks quality at times MYM - standout player Taylor - good sometimes, lacking basics sometimes Santon - obsessed with cutting inside, defensively iffy Tiote - reckless Cabaye - captain Jonas - rubbish Gouffran - quiet Sissoko - marauding runs, no end product today Cisse - pretty hopeless until the goal Liked the look of that Haidara bloke you brought on, impressed me more going forward than Santon did. Pardew - Hadouken fireball punch to Pulis, Pardew wins via KO.

A goal will be awarded if you beat Disco's dive.

It's 25ish guys with varying footballing abilities - many not very good, myself included - playing a game of football. The only "rule" I can see is not wearing blades so as not to damage the pitch. Otherwise, do whatever the fuck you want, man. Arrive in a clown costume if you want.

I don't even know why we've got a ref. Seriously. Do we need one in order to be able to play at Coach Lane?

It's a fucking kickabout, man. I haven't worn shinpads in any of these matches, nobody gives a shit. As for foul throws, they can go to hell too. I'll kick it back into play.

Possibly, JT? You're watching it and you're enjoying it, damnit.

First game I've been involved with where shinpads were obligatory. Dirty bastards.

I'll to bring the Kop along on Sunday to suck the ball into the back of the Blues' net. Famous Sunday morning.

Trip to Sports Direct is in order in a couple of hours.

http://i.imgur.com/mDPCu.gif

Pure speculation, but wonder what would have happened if Willian didn't get injured. Anzhi looked pretty damn shite.

Terrible game, decent result for you. But no more than that currently, Anzhi didn't concede an away goal so they'll be feeling confident of going through. Surely next week's game can only be better though.

Under 1.5 in your game.

STEVEN TAYLOR STEVEN TAYLOR DENNISH BERGKAMP

Inter 9/2 tonight?!

Chelsea/1-1 anytime correct score Stuttgart-Lazio double.

Let us go forth towards a game of football?

Use the match thread now please folks: http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,93737.0.html

you are ? When his goals against Inter came on the screen, so did I.

Wanking about Bale in the build-up to your game.

Same. My old knackered trainers might have to suffice.

Have we got a stretcher available?

Going to see what garish red footy top I can buy tomorrow. The more obscure the better.

You should be so lucky to find that level of facilities.

Yeah he's a winger. Ryan Quaresma.