Geordie Ahmed

That was a cracking effort from Valbuena

Payet with his 2nd, 3-0

and now Payet scores, already 2-0

Gignac scores for Marseille

I have said this for a while now, but he gets jizzed on from some pundits/commentators etc If he wasn't English and at Man United nobody would really care about him. He's no better than the likes of James McCarthy. No better? McCarthy is comfortably better

That was a shocking touch from McLean,

MYM with a nutmeg, such a lovely player

Ooooh, nearly another set penis goal

A corner, get in

Not that it's a surprise BUT Gouffran has been much better than Shola

Whey, Marveaux coming on

Lol Mason, what is wrong with you

Oh dear Colo, what was that

Pen to them

Good run from Jonas

We are such a crap team, nothing exciting about us apart from when Ben Arfa gets the ball This is going to be a painful season

How was that a foul?

It's ten mins in and he's made some half decent passes. He's crap, but you're seeing what you want tbh. He walked into their defender and lost possession, standard Jonas play

Jonas doing nowt as usual

According to St Etienne we did but the player wanted Dortmund, once Dortmund wanted him we never had a hope really. Probably was so after he went on that goalscoring run 2nd half of last season. Unlucky St Ettienne got to the cup final otherwise think we could have got him in Jan

Lovely team goal from Sevilla, 2-0

The amount of idiots who claimed at the time that "its not that good, he only runs in a straight line" Completely missing the balance required, the split second change of pace to get away from the second tackle and the little chip while running flat out at the end to leave the last defender tackling thin air. It was mainly Mackems that downplayed the goal It was quality 1) The initial turn to leave the defender on his backside 2) Brushes off Davies attempt to chop him down with a little funny run 3) The perfect and subtle little dink which left the defender kicking air 4) The finish

Big fan of Anita, think under a proper manager he would excel in this league It's criminal when someone like Jonas gets picked ahead of him

What's the Notting Hill Carnival excuse all about?

We should forget about this and move onto the next person on the hit list