Ishmael

According to this commentator's balanced analysis, Swansea are basically the new Barcelona and we are the old Newcastle United.

Yanga-Mbiwa is very fast.

Cabaye is definitely nursing an injury.

Elliot looking nervous.

Co-commentator having an on-air orgasm

Yanga-Mbiwa with the back heel pass

Tiote is definitely getting the first yellow card of this game

Dyer, apparently made of paper.

Well, we are pressing 5-10 yards higher up the pitch than last week

It's a very rusty start by the league cup winners.

Pressing high and winning the ball

Started well.

Yanga-Mbiwa beating his man and playing it out

Our fans, nice and loud

Howay

Lacking full punctuation

Being top laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaads.

Curtis luck and all the Leon, Leon Best.

Sunderland continually playing their part in allowing first world multinationals to warp our perception of them as they covertly plunder Africa for all it is worth whilst hiding under the banner of "Invest in Africa". Nelson Mandela day merely an added gimmick to their arsenal.

What a sad waste of talent, but... http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7353ibDQ51rwoif0o1_500.gif ... good riddance.

We have a winner

Ameobi is easily an 1 in 2 striker at Championship level.

Holy shit, who is that balanced pundit masquerading as Lolro?

Cabaye's penalty was not assertive. It was hit at a height and pace that gave a gambling keeper a one in two chance of a save.