Interpolic

I booked Theo Walcott's driving test, true story.

Tyoooob.

Steve Pemberton (League of Gentlemen) http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/6690/ctyldesleyweb.jpg Clive Tyldsley http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/6726/stevepemberton.jpg

Oh Tyldsley man, just shut the fuck up. Worst craic ever.

They taking transfer offers by email now as well? Fucks sake, being a Newcastle fan ain't exactly a barrell of laughs at the minute. Not for the right reasons anyway.

58,000! How the fuck did they get there? I couldn't bloody get there!

Absolutely loved that observation when we played Andorra in front of around 70,000 at Old Trafford, when the commentator mentioned that there were more people in the ground than resided in the whole of Andorra.

Pure evil. And evil's even worse when it's done in a smug way by a smug cunt.

They're used to it. Literally Ana, they've of course not gotta hope, I was just mucking about!

Andorra have got a mountain to climb now.

They changed the rules last week. Didn't you get the memo? Bollocks, buses allowed now then. Owt else?

Apparently Andorra are 'literally' going to park the bus. Pleat either doesn't know what literal means or they changed the rules when I wasn't looking.

"Laurent Robert is staging his own goal of the month competition at St James Park this afternoon" Mint shout.

I won a ticket for this from work, but I can't go because there's no way of getting there and back. You'd think with the tube strike there would be buses and trains as replacements but no, they've actually shut down the nearby train stations early. Joke country.

Bloody horrendous.

Sir Bobby's first home game in charge.Remember this forever. I was at this one, 4-0 at half time, 8-0 at full time. If it's ever 3 or 4 nil at half time the team that's leading always seems to take their foot off the gas a bit and it ends up 4-1 or 5-0 tops. This was a perfectly symmetrical thrashing!

QPR 1-2 NUFC (93-94), watched it at me grandad's house when Sky wasn't so widespread yet and was a novelty to me. The winner was sublime - Beardsley knocked it to Cole and ran on, Cole chipped it into Beardsley's path and he just smashed it into the net on the volley. I remembered it after reading Pilko's post because when it went in we all went mad and my Grandma got a proper shock and started choking on her tea.

Hey fuck Setanta, there's something more fun you could do with that kind of cash... Maybe the Profitable Group will put their hat in the ring.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/5492242/Setanta-founders-attempt-last-ditch-rescue.html

Oh go on then. If he went do you reckon we could get a chant going like "Hey Nicky, you're so shite, you're so shite you blew our minds, hey Nicky"

Well they're not in administration yet. Part of my shite job is sending out alerts when companies go iinto administration before the majority know, and I haven't had to yet for Setanta. Did LGV the other day before most though. Edit: aye, not LGV, LDV - I've blatantly been paying attention.

Sounds logical but speculative, naturally. If that was the case, we don't need an owner that's haggling over £20m or whatever. I've heard plenty of people argue this, but even if they can comfortably afford the £100m, they're still business people and if they reckon the club is only worth £80m, they're not gonna pay extra just to avoid the hassle of bargaining. That's not how good business works. That's £20m extra that can be pumped into first team investment. Absolutely, but I don't see the logic in having it out in public if that's the case.

Sounds logical but speculative, naturally. If that was the case, we don't need an owner that's haggling over £20m or whatever.

I know I said this already today, but for my money this is the most cunty thing Ashley has done. Basically, it equates to "I don't care whether they can fund the club, I don't care what their motives are, I don't care where their money comes from, I just want 100m" What an utter, utter cunt, just for that alone, leaving aside all the other stuff. I wonder how he managed to become such a successful businessman, given that he shows not even the slightest hint of understanding how people think, and how to do things the right way. So now, he's simulataneously pimping the club to anyone - ANYONE - with 100m to invest, whilst saying how keen he is to bail out, whilst trying to convince Shearer to become manager (although nobody knows who potential new owners will want) and whilst sticking most of the squad on the books of some shonky agency with the instruction "get rid, quick" - not a thought to what the manager will want to do. I know I'm preaching to the converted here, but honest to god, I couldn't imagine a more inept, insensitive, short termist "leader" if I tried. Totally with you and glad you can see that from an 'outside' POV as it were. But the bit in bold: he didn't make loads of money by understanding consumer behaviour in a sophisticated manner. He basically bought as much shite as he could for as cheap as he could, and then sold it for cheaper than his competitors. Granted he bought and reinvigorated a few failing brands but the same principle applies. 'Everyone likes a bargain' appears to be the only Unique Selling Point of his outlets and I'm guessing he's the same - £134m probably seemed like a bargain before he realised what he'd got himself in for. NUFC was a complete ego-fuelled, mid-life crisis purchase but it's not some wife in a radge with a Porsche on the drive, it's us left picking up the fucking pieces.