Interpolic

Hope he buys some clothes off ASOS then sees they're all discounted in the sale the next day.

Hope he buys a Kinder Egg and the toy's one of them shit little models.

Hope he forgets to swipe out on the tube and gets charged the maximum possible fare.

This is exactly it like. I want him to do well here because I've heard him speak and he's a winner who will take responsibility, but the bloke has got ridiculously bad luck and you can't not laugh.

Hope his telly only has one HDMI port.

Hope he gets taken in and conned by a pyramid scheme.

This is the best joke I've ever came up with btw. Idiots. You have my bittersweet sympathy. It's OK, it's History.

Hope he gets rejected for the next series of Ninja Warrior UK.

Hope he's the next Jill Dando.

Hope the daft cunt can't even roll a rollie properly.

Hope he gets given a Canadian Goose coat that ends up being a fake.

This is the best joke I've ever came up with btw. Idiots.

Hope his Internet connection is absolutely fucking shit.

Yes.

Hope Jack Colback turns out to be his biological son.

Did you just malfunction?

That's so funny.

If Townsend released a solo album after leaving The Verve it would be called "A loan, with everybody".

People need to give one-eyed Willy a break like.

Hope someone mistakes him for a homeless bloke while he's eating ketchup and buys him a burger.

Stunned that Hans is the man to take the joke too far.

May have been posted Must still be on a sweet phone deal with BT.

Hope he accepts an invitation to a sleepover at Oscar Pistorious's house.