Interpolic

Who was the last footballer you heard about being injured due to a poke in the eye? Like ever?

Fuck off, True Geordie.

Hope Laurent Robert smashes a football into his horrible face.

Fucking hell.

Perhaps we could invest some time in working out why his attitude is an issue, rather than just immediately shelving him. Especially when we knew his attitude was suspect when we signed him

Hope it turns out that he was the one who let the dogs out and The Baha Men go after him.

Hope he ends up in Middlesbrough on a business trip.

Best post you've ever done, by some margin.

Mannnnnn, you're crap

It's unfortunate that 2 De Jongs didn't make a right. Definitely done that one before.

£8m Imagine the fee if he had half a brain.

Hope he turns out to be a massive nonce (non-ghost).

Hope NorthernGimp gets him into the back of his van, where he's forced to listen to Branko's patter for the rest of his life.

I'm almost past caring but I think my point's valid, I know we're spending money recently but the moment we're hovering around midtable again we'll spend nothing and will be forced to watch absolutely wank players every week while achieving fuck-all. In that sense, I'd rather not spend money on someone like this when the going is "good". We should sign someone else, basically.

Also dislike it and can only assume it's yet another bargaining tool.

Hope it turns out he turned down shares in Google when they were starting out.

Because we quite clearly have a finite pool of resources and it will have a knock-on effect if nobody else wants him when he bombs.

Loan would be hugely preferable, otherwise I can see us involved in yet another winger lottery in the summer.

Hope he chokes on a piece of scrabble.

Hope he gets Beren in a secret santa where the stipulation is only footwear is an acceptable present.

I can't believe the discussion we're having is "He's English, what more do you want?" ffs. People are saying they don't rate him as a player, same as they've said about plenty of foreign signings.

Hope he gets sparked the fuck out by Dame Edna Everage.

Hope he gets hiccups he can't shift, until the day he dies a brutal death at the hands of Hatem Ben Arfa who successfully frames John Carver for the crime.

Oh man.

Hope his knob falls off into an active volcano.