Interpolic

When does the shark eat him? Not sure but in terms of his NUFC tenure: 7 years. Seems he will see out his contract after all. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_shark

Still can't believe the daft sod abandoned that 433 never to go back to it, that's definitely when Alan Pardew jumped the shark as NUFC manager.

Definitely yesterday's quotes, he followed it by talking about knocks to Tiote and Jonas.

Hate to say it but I think you are in a classic downward spiral of crippling pessimism, bolstered by often plausible but ultimately false realities that I fear you believe are all too real in their consequences. You are at a stage now where I sadly fear there is no escape from your Pardew focussed dysphoric state as this forum just provides ample opportunity to maintain depression through constant defeatist re-enforcement and excessive rumination. Fuck all the long words - we're shit, it's his fault. Copyright DV.

That's my prediction too. What a bunch of fucking Emos.

OK then, I'm not sure I agree whatsover. There are plenty of managers that I think could have our team comfortably top 8, if you ignore Ashley being a bell end. None of whom would work for Ashley under these conditions, which is the entire point.. Eh?! How does that relate to you agreeing with a post about all of our players being overrated, which didn't mention their suitability to Pardew's tactics, or Ashley, at all?

Bloody hell, I thought Dutch people were meant to be chilled out. I wasn't after an almighty but tedious war.

OK then, I'm not sure I agree whatsover. There are plenty of managers that I think could have our team comfortably top 8, if you ignore Ashley being a bell end.

The players are pretty good (if you ignore it's mainly just the first 11 and we're unlikely to see them play together often due to injuries, suspensions, etc), but that's like saying a motorcycle racer should be able to do well on an Arab race horse. Pardew's approach to football is simple and old fashioned, which would work well with a certain type of player, that is the complete opposite of what we have in the squad. There is a huge mismatch, which has been created beyond his control. The person responsible for the mismatch between manager and squad (qualitative and quantitative) is most responsible imho. I'm of the opinion that the squad isn't as good as some like to believe. Theres the basis of a good squad but its sorely lacking in key area's. Our full backs all to one extent or another (excluding dummet from this due to lack of seeing him play yet) can't defend. And aren't all that great at attacking either. This leaves gaping holes side's can exploit to their hearts content (were I West Ham this coming saturday I'd be specifically targeting Debuchy and wait for him to do something stupid) Colo's a very good cb but not a complete one, he struggles badly against really pacey players and really physical frontmen and none of our other cbs really cover that weakness. Taylor's the closest to covering them but he lacks a functional brain while MYM could cope with pace I'd be very hesitant to put him and colo together against the strong strikers of the league. Cabaye is a very good central midfielder and our key creative player, pity he wants to go. Tiote's forgotten how to play football and just picks up yellow cards for a living now. Sissoko hasn't demonstrated much creativity yet and seems mainly to keep things ticking over and win the ball, but thats what Tiote's supposed to do as well (in theory). Anita hasn't coped with the physical side of the prem at all. None of our wingers (or players we assign to play on the wing because we have no one else) have much natural width or the real killer pace to get behind defences, not slow mind you just lacking the real cutting edge of pace. HBA can be unplayable on his day but he keeps getting injured and it takes time to get going at full ability once he's back, or he gets injured again. Marveaux is just kind of there, decent passer could be quite creative but hasn't been able to get a run together of consistent performances and picks up injuries as well. And finally our strike force oh boy our strike force. Cisse, good enough in the box but last season missed several very scorable chances. Also can't stay onside or be useful in any way at all outside the box. Everything has to be completely laid on a plate for him which is not always possible which leaves us with a problem against the top sides. Shola is fucking Shola. Gouffrans been used on the wing (for lack of anyone else to put there) and is no good there. Not seen him as a striker enough to judge. Remy I'm ignoring as he hasn't played for us yet but one point, our one summer signing is a loan of a guy who turned us down for relegation certs 6 months ago and is probably only here because no one else would touch him with the court case hanging over him and he could potentially go to prison half way through the season! That's what I was originally responding to, you've since added loads to your post. I've explained what I mean, you were agreeing with a post that was laying into our players without any mention of Ashley or how unsuitable the players are to Pardew's style. Just basically a post downplaying their abilities and saying they aren't much cop at all. Sort of contradicts "The players are pretty good" and how much you'd like to see them under another manager, etc. Therefore "People appear blinded by their hatred for Pardew and they can't see the wood for the trees" is unfair and contradictory. It's possible to hate Pardew, realise Ashley's a poison and also that our players aren't worldbeaters but still 10x better than they're showing at the minute you know. Which is all I was trying to say.

Or our players have been playing shit football under a shit manager with shit tactics and shit patter for a while after his traditional honeymoon period at a club is over. I'm not having this craic about our players suddenly being totally shit because they've been playing in a terrible team playing terrible football like. Why did so many of the January signings come in and look good then turn to shit then? Manager's terrible, he's got the team playing terribly, actually the players are rubbish. Watch out potential NUFC signings, you'll be rubbish within a month.

I'm of the opinion that the squad isn't as good as some like to believe. Theres the basis of a good squad but its sorely lacking in key area's. Our full backs all to one extent or another (excluding dummet from this due to lack of seeing him play yet) can't defend. And aren't all that great at attacking either. This leaves gaping holes side's can exploit to their hearts content (were I West Ham this coming saturday I'd be specifically targeting Debuchy and wait for him to do something stupid) Colo's a very good cb but not a complete one, he struggles badly against really pacey players and really physical frontmen and none of our other cbs really cover that weakness. Taylor's the closest to covering them but he lacks a functional brain while MYM could cope with pace I'd be very hesitant to put him and colo together against the strong strikers of the league. Cabaye is a very good central midfielder and our key creative player, pity he wants to go. Tiote's forgotten how to play football and just picks up yellow cards for a living now. Sissoko hasn't demonstrated much creativity yet and seems mainly to keep things ticking over and win the ball, but thats what Tiote's supposed to do as well (in theory). Anita hasn't coped with the physical side of the prem at all. None of our wingers (or players we assign to play on the wing because we have no one else) have much natural width or the real killer pace to get behind defences, not slow mind you just lacking the real cutting edge of pace. HBA can be unplayable on his day but he keeps getting injured and it takes time to get going at full ability once he's back, or he gets injured again. Marveaux is just kind of there, decent passer could be quite creative but hasn't been able to get a run together of consistent performances and picks up injuries as well. And finally our strike force oh boy our strike force. Cisse, good enough in the box but last season missed several very scorable chances. Also can't stay onside or be useful in any way at all outside the box. Everything has to be completely laid on a plate for him which is not always possible which leaves us with a problem against the top sides. Shola is f***ing Shola. Gouffrans been used on the wing (for lack of anyone else to put there) and is no good there. Not seen him as a striker enough to judge. Remy I'm ignoring as he hasn't played for us yet but one point, our one summer signing is a loan of a guy who turned us down for relegation certs 6 months ago and is probably only here because no one else would touch him with the court case hanging over him and he could potentially go to prison half way through the season! Tbh I see what you're getting at to a degree, some of our squad are overrated. But this is a debate that will never go anywhere because we've never seen this squad play under another manager. I'm firmly of the opinion that the players are playing miles below their ability because he's treating apples like oranges, he's trying to play cautious tedium-ball with players that are not well suited for it. The squad is what it is, he's not going to get Allardyce results from players that aren't suited to Allardyce-type football, as Allardyce found out ironically enough when he tried to hoof the ball up to Martins and Owen when he was here. But Unbelievable!, you're totally contradicting yourself here, "People appear blinded by their hatred for Pardew and they can't see the wood for the trees" when in your very last post you said that you'd like to see them under another manager and that Pardew's on a hiding to nothing with players that don't suit his style. I'm not blinded by my hatred of Pardew at all personally, I recognise that the squad isn't perfect but we're not even getting mediocre performances out of them at the minute. I am not contradicting myself at all. I do recognise Pardew is a problem, a pretty fucking big one at that. But he didn't appoint himself, or give himself a new contract. Obviously the club (owner) had enough faith in him to hand him a lucrative, new long term deal for the sake of stability, but not enough to give him a say in the type of player we buy, because our transfer policy does not have the aim to help our on the pitch objectives, it aims at achieving off the pitch commercial objectives. The whole setup is fundamentally flawed, and my concern is Pardew is the main figurehead for the blame, whereas it should be directed at the owner for installing such a incoherent setup in the first place. Don't take this personally (you appear to be a bit radge recently, and if even I'm saying that you should probably calm doon ) but you are contradicting yourself. You're expressing your agreement at a post pointing out the limitations of our players, he didn't mention Ashley or the way the club is run. By saying "People appear blinded by their hatred for Pardew and they can't see the wood for the trees" to that post you're surely saying you simply agree that the players are overrated, since that was the post you're agreeing with, you know the one that didn't mention Ashley or the way the club is run at all.

The underlined bit is a fair point. I don't think Santon and Debuchy in particular are as good as they are made out to be though. Santon still has a lot to learn, mainly about the defensive side of the game, and Debuchy is having huge trouble adapting to a new league. I would say the two of them are distinctly midtable at best for now. Perhaps. I would say that I think Newcastle fans will understandably have a tendency to see them as they are not as they could be, or what they were, for that matter. My mate, a big Inter Milan fan, doesn't even recognise the Santon he sees in a Newcastle shirt these days. Says his main strength/attribute used to be his defensive qualities! The lack of organisation/cohesiveness in the long-term will make every individual look that much poorer. IMO. I agree, our defensive midfielders don't even cover for the full backs when they bomb forward well at all, which should be a pre-requisite for any remotely fluid formation. The change in Tiote is a great case in point, I'm sure the player's to blame to a degree but going by Pardew's comments about him a while back it seems we've tried to make his game more expansive than that, with disastrous results. That guy should be tackling (fairly) and playing it simply and that's it.

Proper hipster name to mention tbh, I was being a total hipster cunt. But to clarify, I would definitely shag Rashida Jones.

I'm of the opinion that the squad isn't as good as some like to believe. Theres the basis of a good squad but its sorely lacking in key area's. Our full backs all to one extent or another (excluding dummet from this due to lack of seeing him play yet) can't defend. And aren't all that great at attacking either. This leaves gaping holes side's can exploit to their hearts content (were I West Ham this coming saturday I'd be specifically targeting Debuchy and wait for him to do something stupid) Colo's a very good cb but not a complete one, he struggles badly against really pacey players and really physical frontmen and none of our other cbs really cover that weakness. Taylor's the closest to covering them but he lacks a functional brain while MYM could cope with pace I'd be very hesitant to put him and colo together against the strong strikers of the league. Cabaye is a very good central midfielder and our key creative player, pity he wants to go. Tiote's forgotten how to play football and just picks up yellow cards for a living now. Sissoko hasn't demonstrated much creativity yet and seems mainly to keep things ticking over and win the ball, but thats what Tiote's supposed to do as well (in theory). Anita hasn't coped with the physical side of the prem at all. None of our wingers (or players we assign to play on the wing because we have no one else) have much natural width or the real killer pace to get behind defences, not slow mind you just lacking the real cutting edge of pace. HBA can be unplayable on his day but he keeps getting injured and it takes time to get going at full ability once he's back, or he gets injured again. Marveaux is just kind of there, decent passer could be quite creative but hasn't been able to get a run together of consistent performances and picks up injuries as well. And finally our strike force oh boy our strike force. Cisse, good enough in the box but last season missed several very scorable chances. Also can't stay onside or be useful in any way at all outside the box. Everything has to be completely laid on a plate for him which is not always possible which leaves us with a problem against the top sides. Shola is fucking Shola. Gouffrans been used on the wing (for lack of anyone else to put there) and is no good there. Not seen him as a striker enough to judge. Remy I'm ignoring as he hasn't played for us yet but one point, our one summer signing is a loan of a guy who turned us down for relegation certs 6 months ago and is probably only here because no one else would touch him with the court case hanging over him and he could potentially go to prison half way through the season! Tbh I see what you're getting at to a degree, some of our squad are overrated. But this is a debate that will never go anywhere because we've never seen this squad play under another manager. I'm firmly of the opinion that the players are playing miles below their ability because he's treating apples like oranges, he's trying to play cautious tedium-ball with players that are not well suited for it. The squad is what it is, he's not going to get Allardyce results from players that aren't suited to Allardyce-type football, as Allardyce found out ironically enough when he tried to hoof the ball up to Martins and Owen when he was here. But Unbelievable!, you're totally contradicting yourself here, "People appear blinded by their hatred for Pardew and they can't see the wood for the trees" when in your very last post you said that you'd like to see them under another manager and that Pardew's on a hiding to nothing with players that don't suit his style. I'm not blinded by my hatred of Pardew at all personally, I recognise that the squad isn't perfect but we're not even getting mediocre performances out of them at the minute.

The players are pretty good (if you ignore it's mainly just the first 11 and we're unlikely to see them play together often due to injuries, suspensions, etc), but that's like saying a motorcycle racer should be able to do well on an Arab race horse. Pardew's approach to football is simple and old fashioned, which would work well with a certain type of player, that is the complete opposite of what we have in the squad. There is a huge mismatch, which has been created beyond his control. The person responsible for the mismatch between manager and squad (qualitative and quantitive) is most responsible imho. His football is completely and utterly out of date then, if he's not flexible enough to devise a style that in the least bit suits technical players then he doesn't deserve my sympathy, or your sympathy, or Steve Howey's sympathy, or the sympathy of the few football journalists with their tongue stuck halfway up his hoop.

Yeah, I want to shag Rashida Jones. Actually I'm also willing to shag Rashida Jones. What were we going on about again?

He should do miles better with the players available to him, howay. There are a few positions where we're not too strong but that's no excuse for the shite served up.

Steve Howey was at it today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2398727/Alan-Pardew-hung-dry-Newcastle-says-Steve-Howey.html Don't get me wrong, you could certainly argue that Pardew gets a rough deal on transfers to a degree, but it's as if these people don't watch the games and add 2 and 2 together to realise that the team really isn't the sum of its parts. Disappointing, but that's the football world for you - people that see highlights of us and read the tabloids having their opinions held higher than people who watch the games every week.

Roll up roll up, get your French internationals here, only 15 million pahnd or 23 million for the pair.

Adversity Alan.

Know nowt about him but doesnt seem to get many assists? Just 5/6 in the league from his last 90+ games. We could do with some creativity, we already have a strong finisher we cant get near the ball. Something we are seriously lacking, is a goal threat down the left. Jonas is so poor attacking wise, i'm certain a lot of managers will have a decent RB who they will know will be able to deal with him easily. It wasn't that long ago Jonas and Enrique were our primary force going forward, making our left side very dangerous. 4 years ago in the Championship. How relevant. It's barely 2 years since Enrique left. Not that it matters, my point being: for all his limitations, when used correctly Jonas can be dangerous. Just needs the right partner and the right system. I don't think you can play him as a winger anymore, he can't beat a man. I'm not coaching him all week so I'm not really able to comment on what he's capable of right now. I have no idea. But the system we're playing at the moment seems to rely heavily on a handful of players being outlets needing to keep a hold of the ball and create something with not a great deal of support. Typically with those players starting from deep. Ben Arfa is a little magician so he can impress in that role. Jonas obviously has far greater limits. He gets back and helps out defensively as all the team is required to do. Just when he receives the ball and is expected to be an outlet for us breaking forward he can carry the ball and win the odd freekick but not much else. He doesn't have the pace or the skill of Ben Arfa to turn 3 defenders inside out so he resorts to bombing down the line as far as he can and trying to induce a foul - often with some success. Who's to know what would happen if we had our fullbacks (or anyone) providing more support to our attack? If Jonas wasn't trying to do it all himself down the left, while also providing defensive cover, I feel like he might be more effective. Same problem with Cisse, really. Not enough support, expected to do it all himself while we have 10 men behind the ball. Fair argument but I'm just saying I used to see him beat men all the time, I still see him trying it but it never works. Watch his debut vs Man Utd on YouTube, he's an entirely different player now.

That's what she said. I nearly added a "that's what I said" so I'm pleased someone took the bait.

Fulham 1 v 3 Arsenal Everton 2 v 0 West Brom Hull City 1 v 2 Norwich Newcastle 1 v 1 West Ham Southampton 2 v 1 Sunderland Stoke City 0 v 0 Crystal Palace Aston Villa 1 v 1 Liverpool Cardiff City 0 v 2 Man City Tottenham 3 v 1 Swansea Man Utd 1 v 2 Chelsea

Ah fuck.