Stottie

All the long aerial balls we hit today just played into their hands. We had it last season too, but it looks like our only ability is as a team who plays on the counter. We need the other team to come onto us. We can't take the ball that Cardiff has just hoofed up our end and work it in stages up the field to create an opening. Defence connecting to midfield and midfield connecting with the strikers. The only chances we created today were from long through-balls. We were incapable of playing a possession game against even the weakest team in the league.

Fitting finale to the strong contender for the shittest game of football ever. You can't let him take it after that performance. I'd rather have Dummett even.

That Arter one is a red too.

Against ten men and they're taking pot shots from 30 yards out. This match is grim.

Ah well. A half to forget there. The England team of old seemed to raise or lower their game to match the opposition, and NUFC today remind me of that. Joselu was anonymous, so get one of the other two on, maybe Muto if they're going to stand off and let Shelvey pass it through them. It looks a waste, but Muto plays left side for the Japanese national team if Rafa wants to pull Kenedy off, because he's having a mare too. Diame came strong second half last week, and we could do with that again. We've had no control so far. A bit of control and the game is there to be won. Keep it at hoof and head tennis and they'll probably sneak one to win it.

Manquillo looks on for a hiding here. Our overall play is hurried and aimless. We need to settle down and play it on the deck. That Murphy freekick says it all about the quality on display so far.

Their No. 4 let Ayoze walk in for that shot. Just stood and watched. They're still putting no pressure on Shelvey at all. I think we'll score in this game.

Shelvey in acres to play that pass. Looks promising.

I only noticed yesterday when checking out our nearest and dearest, but as of this season, AFC Wimbledon are in a higher league than MK Dons. It only took them 16 seasons starting from nothing. 16 seasons! That's no time! A breakaway Newcastle would have way more fans and backing as well.

They are all going to get the bare minimum. For suppliers, it's reportedly 3p in the pound. For pension fund members, it's whatever the pension guaranteeing system will pay, not Mike Ashley. "Hard negotiations" are unlikely to come into it.

Fine by me . That picture looks weird, like he was just running and didn’t see the guy. Its 43 minutes in in the first half. Sissoko is pretty much stationary, possibly trying to counterbalance on the offending foot after stopping. Unless I'm mistaken, dangerous play does not need to be intentional, just dangerous. No good to us now though, so might as well not bother.

I can't remember exactly but does Rafa's system have only one fullback pushing on? If so, it mightn't matter so much if Dummett can't do it.

I don't rate him but that looked jarring and I hope he's back soon. The goal was a far post run from deep by Alli with Ritchie (5'7"?) tracking him a yard or two behind. I don't know who is responsible for what, but it's exactly the kind of mismatch they would be looking to create. Same with Shelvey on Sanchez at the corners.

First of all, my sympathy to anyone going that far for a 12:30 kickoff. Even if it means me getting to watch it at 8:30 in the far east. From how we played well today, next week should be a good chance to get off the mark.

Yeah, they look shit. Keeper looks dodgy, just gifted one to Zaha. 2-0

Yep, very harsh.

Played well, created loads, were unlucky not to score a second and concede one Dubravka knocked out 1cm behind the line. Promising signs for the season to come with how the new lads played. Just hope Yedlin's okay.

Great goal!

I seem to remember Joselu getting as many goals from tackles and bobbles last season as he did from shots. Here's hoping Lloris is in generous mode like the World Cup final. They're playing Sissoko anyway, so we're only up against ten. Howay the lads!

1 out of ten. I think we'll stay up but Rafa's project is well and truly dead with no possible excuses any more. The club is loaded but will not back him. The only way the club can progress is by getting Ashley out.

Gamez was a free transfer!!!!! Transfermarkt says Lazaar was 2.57 million pounds. Is this shite being put out there for pricks like Dennis Wise to defend the club with?

Great work everyone. Get the pressure up and keep it there.

Why would that terrify you? He's a top 6 manager, he deserves the chance to perform at his own level, to make his own kind of music, not rummage through the LPs in the Spastic Society shop. West Ham though. Them Tory wankers and their free stadium. I'm not saying our shite owner deserves Rafa Benitez but I don't think theirs do either, even if they put more money in. Wherever Rafa goes I'd like to support him and I couldn't do it with those three there at West Ham. Awful people. As for Pellegrini, recent history suggests eight or so Premier League managers won't last the season. It was ten last year. Hughes, Warnock, and Silva at Everton would be my bets, but even if not them, it'll happen to someone else. The more the tv money goes up, the more pressure there will be near the bottom when December comes around.

Ings sounds like a Mark Hughes-type signing to me. A highly overpriced domestic player. Statsbomb's Southampton preview is quite interesting. In it, they come out like a good bet for relegation.