Stottie

Scrappy for sure, but not the result from defensive or goalkeeping howlers. That's what I would call shite goals. By my definition, half the goals we've conceded this season have been shite goals. Our goals from the corners yesterday both had good delivery. A shite goal is when you have poor delivery or non-existent defending, like Norwich's first against us. Southampton's too. Swansea did look like they were on holiday mind.

Set up 2 goals I agree, but he won't get an "assist" for the Sissoko goal, which shows the problem of judging players by that stat. It's also a problem with harrying forwards who cause general havoc or pressure defenders into mistakes.

That's a definite card, possibly a red given where the Sunderland player ended up. It's clear dangerous play.

Hoping we can get to half time without conceding. We've not managed it under Rafa so far. No glaring mistakes or cheap free kicks please. The game against Southampton was lost by that stage, but we've generally done better in the second half.

Colback actually got in the opposition box last season and chipped in with the odd goal, something that Anita or Tiote have never offered and that has vanished from Colback's game this year. He's still mediocre of course, but the box to box mediocre of last year beats the sitting and holding mediocre of this. If a midfielder is going to make stray passes and commit clumsy fouls, the further he does it from our own box, the better.

Norwich took a handball to beat us. They're not very good. We're lazy and inept and the only hope is that Rafa can work some magic. They're far from world beaters, but maybe Colo, Dummett, and Mbabu can listen to him and at least avoid giving the game away. I think Taylor put in the worst performance of any of our players this season.

They needed a handball to beat us, so I wouldn't make any big claims for them for the rest of the season.

Fistpumps off. Apparently it's "another blow for Newcastle".

I thought we'd lulled them to sleep at 1-0 but a fresh burst of ineptitude shook them awake for number two.

Yes, it can get worse!

Credit to them for not making a meal of that. Some refs would have given something.

Blind backpass. Ferk me he really is brain dead.

Turboshit from Taylor

If you wanted to script the game, I think it would be Austin coming on to win it.

We need to come out with more energy than in Rafa's three games so far. We played better in the second half every time.

Getting back to his wants list, but anyone supposed to be watching the French league should have been after Payet.

By the sounds, the dead in the water team we have emulate is Fulham in 2007-8. West Ham pulled off an impressive escape the previous year, but they had Carlos Tevez. One problem that Rafa (and McClaren before) faces is that some of our most experienced players are hopeless. Look at Steven Taylor turning his back on Norwich's second. Or Colback, the one left standing with experience of playing left back, giving away stupid fouls in the previous games. Senior players making fundamental errors betrays any logic of playing them for experience, something any incoming coach with selection problems will be tempted to default to.

Still good at the heroic goal-line clearance I see. Missed an absolute sitter as well though. He's a good shout for Leicester's worst starter, but the rest are good enough for him not to matter. With their CHs, he could probably get rinsed multiple times without the resulting crosses hurting them. The main thing is for him to not play anyone trying to get in behind onside.

Into miracle territory now, with a defence still incapable of the basics.

MITRO!

GET IN!

30 mins to save the season

Third game in a row from a set piece.

Aye, contrast with the King lording it over the fans in that pub earlier in the season. He's giving it "not my fault honest" in his programme notes and probably avoiding them like the plague at the moment.

Lukaku is exceptional. For Chelsea, he looks like a bigger mistake than De Bruyne. Maybe even Man U with Pogba too.