Stottie

Wasn't Shelvey lampooned by the tabloids about six or seven years ago for putting an ad out for a live-in "cook", probably a sports nutritionist, on something like fifty grand a year? He said it was because he didn't know how to eat properly on his own. Top clubs famously have fixers to help players with all kinds of mundane daily activities. Stuff like getting a mobile phone. Diet will be hyper complex compared to some of the tasks done for them. As with ASM running into blind alleys when faced with no other option, Shelvey would be far more effective when there are runners ahead of the ball, not just a static forward's head to aim at.

The same lack of guidance and direction applies to most of our players, but we've only seen ASM centrally with few instructions and no-one to lay it off to. He was also playing #9 or false #9, not #10. He may be capable of much more. That said, he is not a pressing #10, so that would be an attacking lineup.

I think the idea of many clubs not selling to us is bollocks. The odd one or two might, but most of them won't have the wherewithal to miss out on fees for players with contracts running down. They may try to mess us around, but the consortium have enough money to not need to play negotiating games that drag things out. Unless there is a massive new manager bounce, our overwhelming priority is going to be getting good players for Howe's system in quickly. Not overpaying is unlikely to be a priority. I think generous offers should go in on Dec 31 on a take-it-or-leave-it basis. If they haven't decided within days, then we take our money to someone else because there are plenty of other clubs out there happy to take it. Obviously, we'll need a good DoF to do this properly.

This 100 times. It also meant that the consortium's first dealing with a manager was getting burnt by one with a ridiculously tasty contract. We do not know what dealings we had with the various candidates for the replacement, but it would be very understandable if relegation clauses and payoffs for underachievement were very heavy on their mind, possibly to an extent that put otherwise keen prospective managers off. All thanks to Steve fucking Bruce getting his payday. Newcastle fan my arse.

fwiw, my kids yearly did bleep-test shuttle runs, a standardized test of endurance, in elementary school in Japan. That's children who are 6 to 12 years old. I doubt our training under Bruce was even at that level. Shuttle runs are short-interval sprints, so highly relevant to football. It's a real shame Howe is facing an instant rearguard action, because there is wasted potential in the team. So far it has looked obvious that ASM cannot play in the middle, but the truth may be that he cannot play in the middle under a buffoon who simply tells him to "run". With the right coaching and time (we don't have) to adapt, he may be capable of the wide forward to CF or second striker transition we have seen others do. The further forward he plays, the fewer midfielders he's going to be surrounded with, the less important any loss of possession, and the less important his defensive contribution. Joelinton, Alimiron, Murphy etc. may also be capable of much more.

Willock, someone Arsenal played as DM, went on a run we've not seen since Cisse's first dozen games against teams on the beach. Maybe a new manager bounce from Jones as well. Empty stadiums were also a factor, since Bruce and the team were saved from what would have been lots of deserved pitchside grief. We were arguably worse in Bruce's first season, but Dubs had a great full season and goals from defenders papered over the gaping cracks.

In that old video from Bournemouth with Eddie Howe and Callum Wilson walking round having a bit craic, Howe says his heros are A-ha and he most wants to meet Morten Harket. Some high notes here, but everyone knows the tune and the riff makes a great chant. Toon Arr Mee (Toon! Ar! Me!) Eeh Dee Howe (Toon! Ar! Me!) Win the league! In a year or two! DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DA DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA DA DA-DA-DA-DA-DA NB. The win the league bit is not remotely serious and merely mirrors the original lyrics. It can all be changed. "Stay Verr Lee" would fit too.

I'd try this with Almiron and ASM switched and Fede not Lascelles. Murphy is a weak link, but gets the shout for dead ball ability. Murphy and ASM wide are not going to track back, so #10 has to drop very deep when the CMs get dragged into fighting fires. Flat back four and pressing #10 are essential. With a five and sitting off, we are far too pedestrian.

On the subject of Diame, I think the team is crying out for a front pressing #10. Under Rafa we had a fantastic combination of Ayoze against weaker teams and Diame against the strong ones. Ayoze led the league by miles in pressing stats for a forward when we sold him, and I would even be tempted to buy him back if possible. Leicester have a brilliant door-opener in Madison and maybe no need for a front pressing forward (the "Dirk Kuyt" role), but teams in the bottom half do. We have sat back with no press under Bruce, but if we could defend from the front with Almiron or Willock at #10, that would really toughen up the spine. fwiw, Joe Willock is slightly taller than DIame and only 5kg lighter. He's a big lad and that's partly why he headed in those corners. I think Hayden is a usable DM. For all his diving in, he rarely gets sent off, and just needs team mates available to receive the ball when he's on it.

My impression of Monaco was that everything went tits up when the owner Rybolovlev got divorced and taken to the cleaners, forcing the club into the fire sale that cost Mbappe, Mendy, Bernardo Silva etc. There'll be more to it, but that's the simple narrative that's out there. All these candidates sound great, and it's good that Emenalo etc. rate Howe and buy into his system. We need results quickly, not expensive square pegs going into round holes.

About 6 for me. Who we buy in January is huge.

Farke was sacked with 5 points from 11 games, which is more than Bruce 3 from 8 but less than Jones 2 from 3. Bruce is the worst.

More points per game than the plastic Geordie cabbage. In harder fixtures as well. Dour backs to the wall stuff though, even if the defending has been slightly less inept.

Improvement at least, and something for Eddie to work with and build on. But why the set penis with a center half in goal? FFS. If Brighton are that high up the league, Howe's got this. We'll need to buy, but all is not lost.

C'mon, just one chance for Callum Wilson.

Nice goal. Utterly deserved, not by us, but by Brighton for not pressing on and putting this to bed. Game on!

Make a change FFS.

Still only 0-1!

Get WIllock and Schar on!

Only six shots from Brighton, so they've not "battered" us. They've just effortlessly retained possession and half-heartedly tried to create opportunities that really haven't come. If PIF spend the cash and we do end up in a buying a good team, I hope we'll batter the opposition with more than 6 shots a half of that quality..

As shit as any of our poor performances in recent memory, but still only 0-1 and that was due to an individual error. Take your pick as to which center half to take off, put Willock on, or even Schar in midfield, and give it a go. Brighton don't look very good, and that's kind of reassuring for us as a team that needs to improve and get points.

Pen for me. Lascelles getting booked for nothing was braindead too.

If he nearly went to Celtic, him leaving home and going up north is not going to be a problem! I dunno about DoFs, but you can only have sympathy with someone who expected Rafa but ended up having to give a massive payoff to Cabbageheed. It would put you off giving a shedload of money to an incompetent manager and his cronies (sorry, staff) again if you thought you could pre-empt it. It's Ashley hurting us from beyond the grave, so to speak.

Thanks for writing that out cherryred. Despite the collapse in your relegation season, you were still robbed by the goalline technology eff up that VAR couldn't correct. It gave Villa two free points and they stayed up by one. GIven that he's banging them in now, do you regard Solanke as a "terrible buy" as the press seem to?

That tactics video is fantastic, but the win in that game came against Chelsea with Hazard as a false 9. He really cannot play that position and I think Chelsea putting him there put him in the downward spiral he is still in.