Jack Flash

If Mata plays any part on Wednesday he'll be counted as your captain today too.

That very first bit under Fat Sam he did, a bit anyway but since then. Made quite a bit back with Parker and Dyer in that window.

Torres starts.

It was like The rule is it must be deliberate handball... That wasn't deliberate in my eyes... Handball is almost always accidental. On this occasion it stopped a cross so it's got to be a penalty.

2 - Danny Welbeck has doubled his 2012-13 Premier League goals total in United's first game of 2013-14. Form. Not quite Shearer yet.

Disgracefully shunted out of the club by our beloved manager. He was brilliant for us in the Premier League like Bad enough to basically single him out publicly as our worst player? nur how.

Disgracefully shunted out of the club by our beloved manager.

Still wouldn't be good enough.

We are experiencing unprecedented demand for BT Sport access so please bear with us...

I'm expecting similar quotes to these ones last year.

That's an incredible quote. Marred slightly by her tipping Tottenham to win the league.

http://i.imgur.com/29dQPRq.gif You make your point eloquently once again Jack. Even by holding your tongue, that gif is so educational and constructive. Thanks. And completely over your head

http://i.imgur.com/29dQPRq.gif

There's fewer better things in football than a glorious counter attack.

Likely to start and likely to get yellow cards.

Already lost a player for 6 weeks (I'm actually delighted as that means I can piss around with the team for hours guilt free)

They had to invest heavily because we were fighting relegation. If King Pardew had us in the top half (as he should) we wouldn't have to have bought nearly a whole new team. I can see where this is going so I won't bother.

Did the last window not count, Alan?

Swap Maynard for RVP. The rest of your team must be incredible if you're only spending about 9.0 on 3 strikers

You can't spend 4.5 on a forward

Press conference coming up http://i2.bebo.com/020/9/large/2006/12/12/14/551635794a2822618513b366888790l.jpg

Corny will definitely be first choice.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/18932/8870318/jamie-redknapps-premier-league-ones-to-watch This is why pundits make big money. I've completely revamped my fantasy team based on this.

Probably the first bit, yo.

#2. They were definitely trying to wait till the last day to get either a lower fee or lower wages.