Fedyan

Kutepov starting Man, we are going to have so much fun defending, like. Samedov. FFS Traffic is insane. Every decent bar and pub is booked for a week. Mad. Like 10000 Peruvians invaded Vorodbievy Gori tourist site on the other side of the river, with a great view of Luzhniki. Our TV idiots are certain,y rivaling the high standards discussed in this thread

Antisemite!!!

Kane and Southgate have been presented with a samovar and a karavai. Samovar is that magnificent monster teapot thing we stopped using about 100 years ago to keep the tea hot and pour it all night long during those long, usually family related chit chats. Karavai is basically a huge loaf of bread baked in a fancy artistic way. When people say "vstrerim khlebob I solyu" it translates as we will greet you with bread and salt, a welcoming gesture. Like when some rich relative shows up at your wedding and you want to leave a good impression before you inevitably end up totally plastered. Or when a bunch of forrins from England and other such exotic places come with a formal visit. Usually done in politics and business for someone important. Like some dude whose money you could really use. Or parents of that really fit bird you desperately wanted to shag and now ended up marrying, as I said before. So. Optimistic? Pessimistic? Still confuse every Vladislav in the land by using a short name Vlad when talking about our glorious leader? Vova or Volodya are short names for Vladimir in case any media types read this. Stop being daft :lol:Vovan if you are really informal. Vlad or Slava are short names for Valdislav. So there. Who is in goal? Why are your boys so bad at taking a pecky?

So, arguably the Group of Death. Tournament's glamour group. Dare I so say. I thought, it might be a bit of an idea to provide you with some analysis on our squad. The Supreme Tactical Genius In Charge Managed by a very arrogant and annoying (local hipster media types are whining that he tells them to sod off any time they try to troll him, rather uncreatively) Stanislav Cherchesov. A decent keeper back in the day, was a very respected pro in Austria and then became a manager. Iirc won a fair few cups in that slightly non-German forrin league. Played for Dynamo Dresden in those fantastic black keeper pants. Which is nice. A self-confessed Spartak man and former player of theirs, which is just downright disgusting. We have no clue what system he will impose on our (obviously) inferior and forrin opposition. He tried everything - three at the back, back four, a line of five. But an unbelievable dearth of options defensively is arguably the biggest problem. Not popular, detested by the vast majority of Dynamo and Spartak fans for his managerial stints at respective clubs. Failed to win trophies despite enormous resources available in both of those jobs. His high point when with us was that 0-0 draw against Rafa's Napoli at home in Europe League. After a 1-3 tonking away. Also, went 6 wins in 6 games during the group stage, but we're talking PSV, Anderlecht and Paol and we had the budget that would make Zenit blush at the time. I despise him as a footballing man. Fun fact - his middle name is Salamovich. Salam is obviously Hello in many languages. Thus the nickname Privetych (Hello-ICH basically). Pub quiz win sorted there. On to the fantastic role models and immaculate pros that we quietly refer to as footballers. Keepers. Akinfeev needs no introduction. Has plenty of critics and his butter-fingered effort against Algeria cost us the chance to qualify from the group four years ago, when the World Cup was in that Brazil forrin country, like. But even his hardest critics will admit, a driven man, very dependable, whose main weakness is his height. Still better than most on the line. Fantastic reflexes keeper. Made his senior club debut at 16, a symbol for CSKA fans. One of the few guys we can be sure about. Will give his all. In case anything happens to Akinfeev, Lunev is a hugely promising Zenit keeper. Really impressive season for him, put Yury Ladygin in his back pocket, costing the Greece-born half-forrin arrogant git to sit on the bench and whine. A very mature boy, doesn't do the club and drink thing. Great athlete. His chance to shine will come very soon. Vladimir Gabulov will not win any handsome devil contests, but he is a hugely experienced pro, who will not kill us if he has to step in. A well-travelled career, won the league with Brugge this year. Played for us in three separate stints, I respect him for being a very "normal" person and a decent keeper, but he left after a well-publicized locker room row with several senior players accusing each other of throwing in a match because they had a problem with the gaffer at the time and did not want to play for him. Ended up in a brawl. And instead of winning our first league title since 1976 (still stuck at number 11), we finished outside the top three. Sad that. The impeccable D Ignashevich retired. But we still called him up for the last hurrah. No decent centrebacks at all in this team, sad but very true. The guy had a very consistent career, and could have joined Everton back in Moyes days, but honestly said that he would miss playing in Europe every year and fighting for trophies. Vladimir Granat (aside from being a greedy Judas genital for leaving us on a free to join those animals in Tushino a couple of years back and ruining a promising career, is past it, Kudryashev wasted like ten years of his career on fancy tats, big cars and thick, but physically very appealing females. Rubin had a very poor season with a ton of stuff happening financially, involving a lot of forrin agents. Both can play CB or LB. Only really perform under willy old Kurban Berdyev, a tactical mastermind currently managing Rubin. But Cherchesov is not a tactical mastermind, so these two will likely provide plenty of entertainment for the neutrals. Semenov is very immobile and Akhmat Grozny are the definition of an overpaid mediocre bother-free team. Kutepov is a very tall and clumsy CB. And plays for the pigs. Even their fans dislike him for being a very undependable performer, and he is their academy boy. And they won't shut up about their ferking academy. So you get the idea on how poor he is. Liverpool and Bilbao fans can attest to that. Basically, a smaller Dan Burns. You get the idea. Fullback are better. Smolnikov is a very stable right back. But obviously, our forrin Mario Fernandes will play there. A quality player, I have no doubts that he could make it in any of the big leagues. As is the case with many forrins living here - understands everything we say, yet can not be bothered speaking himself. Beggars can not be choosers. And all that. Zhirkov is listed as a left winger, but I have no doubt that he will feature at LB at some point. Still going, a fun player to watch. Even if a bit of a tool and his wife is so thick, she makes some of those Terry/Rooney wags look like the learned sages they are not. The incomparable Centrocampo Our pride and joy. Despite being the stubborn, arrogant tit that he is, Cherchesov did call up some of the youngsters who showed real promise and started doing things this past season. Golovin is allegedly on the brink of joining Juve. A fabulous player, take a look at his goal in that Lyon away fixtures that the horses (CSKA) won. Smart, tricky, can play in that Pirlo role, can play as a number 10. Had a terrific season, helping them Army Boys finish second in a campaign where it looked as though they may be fading. The Miranchuk twins made Lokomotiv gel and gave a huge helping hand in them trains (no explanation needed) win the league in the most unexpected fashion. Old timer Semin is a firm "if you're good enough, you're old enough" school of thought disciple and a big friend of Jorge Mendes. Yes, I am still very bitter about that whole Portuguese experiment at my beloved Dynamo almost 15 years ago and despise Maniche, Derley and Costinha with pashun, like. But he never holds a young player back if he sees that he is ready. Anton and Alexey are identical twins, and can cover a whole range of positions as attack-minded midfielders. Can be a bit inconsistent, but genuinely likable boys and Anton is linked with Milan at the moment. Can perfectly see why. Certainly has the skill and ability to play there. Dzagoev is still a perfectly capable creative midfielder, very unfortunate with nagging minor injuries. Erokhin is a useless tall bloke, but has a tendency to chip in important headers when you least expect him. Still despised by the majority of Zenit fans. Daler Kuzyaev is probably one of only two players (Lunev being the other one) who really benefited from Mancini's astoundingly average spell in charge. A tall, deep-lying playmaker who can be a real revelation for the neutrals. Good thing he opted against representing Tadzhikistan, since his dad is from there but lived in Piter (short name for St Petersburg) pretty much his entire life. Zobnin is good, was linked with Schalke and Roma. But imagine if Gazza signed with Sunlun the same season Newcastle got relegated. On a free. And went on to win the league with them. The very next season. You get the idea. As if being relegated for the very first time in our glorious history (Lev Yashin spent his entire career with us) was not embarrassing enough - seeing the smiling mug of his just a few short days after wearing that shirt was..... It was. Well. Still makes blood boil. Kinda like a castrated Lampard position-wise, if you get what I mean. Samedov is an annoying grey-haired winger who can not for the love of God do anything with his left foot. And also left us for them pigs. But he is their academy boy, so I just dislike him. Caused quite a stir among our sizable Azerbaidjani diaspora when refused a call up from their national team by saying that he couldn't care less. His dad is from there, but resides in Moscow for like 50 years now. The nationalistic minded among his peers went ballistic. Nobody cared otherwise. Average, past it and predictable winger. Denis Cheryshev is a son of my favorite players growing up - Dmitry Cheryshev. We loved him, was so fast and decisive. Owen-like, but in a good way. Still is a bit of a hero among Sporting Gijon fans, and I actually shared a glass of wine with him a couple of times in the corporate box of our temporary home (for the last ten seasons anyway, and no - this is not a joke). His son is a Real Madrid youth product and there was actually talk of him representing them Spanish forrins internationally when he was like 17 or 18. A quality left-sided player, had a shocking rotten luck with injuries. Won Europa with Sevilla, played his best football at Villarreal, also represented Valencia. The first-ever Russian player with senior appearances for Real Madrid. Which is something. If he is healthy, could provide that much-needed quality. Fabulous attack Smolov is the guy here. I sincerely hope that he doesn't end up at something daft like West Ham. Spain and Italy are far more suited for his game. Our academy boy, who wasted several years clubbing, dating glamour girls and doing all those tatts. Left us on a free after my club hit rock bottom in terms of management and contract negotiations. Married Mkhitaryan's current object of love. Realized that social life is too much of a drag, divorced the posh gal and started playing proper football. Comfortable on the ball, some days really does remind a smaller Ibra in terms of his approach. Very nice shot on him. The focal point of FC Krasnodar. Managed to find a modestly 2 mil$ priced apartment there, confusing the hell out of the laid back locals. If he is on form - those Arabic forrins will have a handful. A bit harder to get past them Uruguay forrins, but he has the tools. Kokorin also played for us. And left for Zenit in rather disgusting circumstances, in typical "thick rich footballer" fashion. A very skilled player who only shows up if he really fancies it, can go missing for weeks. Has a reputation for being an incredibly thick person, charity efforts don't help erase this image. Drives insanely expensive supercars, constantly gets into moronic headlines with his Insta, once had a series of photos with lap dancers going viral. Used to be Smolov's best buddy when playing for us. Yes, they were called Beavis and Butthead even by our support back then. When he is on, he can resemble a David Villa in his pomp. Too bad he switches off too often. Dzyuba is a tall, powerful striker who provides a ton of fun for social media addicts and journalists with smart/idiotic quotes. Mancini did not like his fun-loving ways and sent him out on loan to Arsenal Tula where he scored a fair few and almost allowed them gunners to reach Europe for the first time in their history. Had a very public Bosman saga going from Spartak (another one of their vastly overrated and annoying youth products) to Zenit. Burning a ton of bridges with both sets of fans in the process, which does take some doing. And despite scoring a lot of goal for Zenit, still disliked there. They hate Spartak as well, but pretty much everyone does here. Has a deserved reputation as a money grabber and a bit of coont. Even if he does have a sense of humor. Not a lump, actually, quite comfortable with the ball at his feet. So there. Salah is good, the rest of Egypt not so much. Uruguay have a very good squad but we can beat them. Maybe. Perhaps. Saudis wear ridiculous sandals and I saw a group of them take a picture outside Hooters. We should batter them today. Perhaps. Hopefully. The expectations for our team range from suicidal skepticism to mental optimism. We'll see.

Oh. My. God. Them forrin forrins are everywhere. Walking around my beloved Moscow in their forrin ways, talking their forrin lingo. Drinking our booze, taking pictures everywhere. So many forrins. So glad I leave on Sunday, a freaking forrin invasion, like. I saw a dude dressed up as an Aztec. What in the world. I mean, he did wear those Aztec decorated underpants. An adult. And those Mexican hats. Man, hats must be sensible. These are just daft. And the amount of beer they consume. Jesus. And they all have their fan IDs with them, as though our God-fearing people who have work to do on a weekday can not spot a lazy jobless forrin acting all forrin. Saw a rented van with Fox Deportes on it. Those Latino dudes, already causing trouble, damaging our property. Saw a guy over the age of 50 in Peru shirt with a bleeping selfie stick. I mean, I'm pretty sure those things are illegal, unless your name is Christian Vieri. Or you're a woman. Saw Saudis taking pictures in front of Hooters, I kid you not. What the hell is that all about? Those forrins. Obviously, those Aussies take some beating in being loud, annoying and very forrin. My Lord, people, why the hell do you write in English if you clearly have no desire/ability to speak it? And that clobber. Hipster scum. Any time I see a grown man with neck tattoos I think of the parents. Even Aussie parents don't deserve that kind of crap. What in the world? And their athletes, probably deemed unskilled to play rugby and that other horror show with eggchasing they so adore, are so friendly. Something fishy. Nobody understand a word of what they're saying. And those Colombians. Walking in a Hermes boutique as if they have any money. The sheer arrogance. And how dare they bring their women with them? Oh, the unbearable hardship of having to stare at those behinds. Give me strength, like. Saw a guy in Uruguay shirt and Nacional scarf take a selfie in front of Belarus Embassy. Doesn't he know that they eat babies and consume insane amounts of potatoes there. Man. And those Americans. What in the heavens name. You didn't even qualify FFS. Why bother coming over and sip our magnificent spirits, looking at us in that forrin way. The cheek. Drooling at our subway. Yeah, sorry, no rats and roaches and bums are being shot on the spot if they attempt to enter. And that accent. Brought so many memories of the horrible experiences I had over there. Trump boys. Obama boys. Liberal so and so's. Surprised about the distinct lack of bears and snow, are we. Capitalist wrongdoers, like. And so many old people among them. And families. Who in their right mind would bring his wife and kids to a World Cup? Then again, maybe all those forrin gay guys. Trying to brainwash us with their fancy sissy forrin ways. Pretending to be on solids with wife and kids. Suspicious yanks, like. Genuinely disgusting. Pathetically friendly. Stop smiling, you unreasonable Uncle Sam worshippers. It is illegal here, don't you know. Good thing we have like a ton of nukes. Just in case. Can never have too many rockets. Not with these tools around. Oh, my Lord. A friend of mine had a business trip to St Petersburg. And forrins are there as well. Tons of the ferkers. Like, literally hordes of them. On a flight home, some dude from Uruguay annoyed my comrade so much, that he had to give him his number and invite him to our patriotic Spain Portugal wine party. Are they all like that over there? Nobody cares where Montevideo is, like. What the hell is a Montevideo anyway? A tech megastore by the sounds of it. Leave us alone, you forrin. The guy probably will not even bother to bring money with him, so we'll have to silently pay for his rounds. I mean, they clearly have no money. Those forrins. Infesting our planes. Talking to us. Forcing us to invite them to our favorite restaraunts. Some Nigerian dudes wanted to bring a live hen with them to the stadium in Kaliningrad. I mean, my prayers with our brave police officers over there. Them Africans and their forrin voodoo ways. But, to be fair, awesome fashion sense. Those hats. Mexico, take note. Never had much of a problem with African people, personally. But they still forrin. A father of my classmate actually fought for the good cause in Angola, helping them fight the meddling a of all those Portuguese and Americans. But they still ended up siding with the West. Holy this and that. Bring more hats, we love them. Not gonna wear them, obviously. That's too forrin, but at least you are not as annoying as those Argentinians. Argentinians. Man. Loud. Singing songs. Making funny faces. We aren't allowed to do it in public, you thick mugs. And did you bring any clothes? Other than number 10 Argentina shirt, I mean. And your wine is expensive here. I go Chilean. But a good thing they did not make it. Imagine all those Vidal haircuts. Our elderly people would be outraged. Do they all sing all the time over there? Learn how to properly pronounce your Italian last names, you Argentinian forrins. Jesus Christ. And Germans. How bland and forrin are they. Be reasonable, or else. My late grandpa used to serve in special forces in Dresden back in the day. He would probably teach you cabbage botherers a few lessons in being humble. Unearthing that Tokyo Hotel freak show on us all. Absolute garbage, like. Oh, why didn't you keep the good old DDR. All Western now. Vomit inducing. As I said, be very careful, sausage munchers. Genetic memory is very strong among us and all. Be nice and quiet, and stop using your disgusting forrin pornographic language. Dogs barking, like. And what's with all those flags of clubs nobody ever heard of? What the hell is Bochum? And stop thinking like we love your Mercedes and BMW. We just drive them. And we only consume large numbers of your lager because it goes handy when dealing with a hangover. You forrin Germans. So forrin, like. And them Brazilians. Don't even get me started on them. Ok, granted, your women have lovely derrières. But wearing all those Cruzeiro, Fluminense, Vasco, Gremio and Corinthians shirts in public? And why do you all wear fancy forrin bermudas? No wonder your pretty girls run away to Italy and France. No style at all. And aren't they like so forrin forrin? Like real forrin. And some black dudes among them too. No doubt about it, came to sexually assault our girls. I swear, I almost lost it when one of these particular forrins asked a police officer to take a picture of them in front of a church. These are our churches, like. I mean, I don't believe in God and all. But our God is better than yours. Obviously. Aren't you all pagan and stuff? And the Dutch. Yes, them. Marijuana smoking, sex altering, tall, ugly coonts. We will have a beer shortage by the end of the week. Because of these forrins. You did not make it, boys. Your team is not here. Stay the hell away from drugs and that urine you call Heineken. No sane individual goes to a tournament when his team is not there. So why did you bother? Hello, anybody home? Obviously came here to fight the Germans. Can't say I blame them for that. But then again, who does? But will make us look bad cos them pinko Western liberals will report it as our boys kicking the hell out of them. Again. Or maybe, they came to fight the Belgians. Disgusting nation, obviously. Deserve everything bad coming their way purely for their minuscule restrooms and frying everything that can be eaten. And that movie about Brugge. And Roberto Martinez. But why do it here? Should have stayed in one of your stinking Terdams. With your she-male prossies. Oh lord, those forrins. And Iranians. Wearing Argentina shirts. That's like wearing "I am like really thick, me" shirt. What in the world. And those Algerians. All hipsters, are we. Washing those beards, I hope. And what's with all that tracksuit fashion sense. And why the hell do you all speak like those garlic eating, surrendering French forrins? What the hell is that? They kicked you out and you decided to come over here? Oh, those forrins. And the French. Those berets. So gay, like. Why such a strong scent of urine in the Paris subway? You lot burnt my hometown in 1812, when that Corsican dwarf was in power, you stinky cheese producing weapons. You think we forgot? Two years after that you learned what Bistro means in Russian, in your own forrin Paris to boot. I mean, they speak like really annoying teeny girls as well. Pardon this, merci that. Oh man, those forrins. Why would any rational adult ever admit to being Canadian? Why admit it here? Do you lot even play football? It's pronounced about, not aboot. What's with all those Eh's at the end of every sentence? Bragging about your hockey, are we. Well, you may have invented it, but we play it better, with that panache and skill. Your players are just ugly thugs. And stop eating our steaks, like. No meat in Canada? Jesus Christ, I swear. On of these days, one of these days. An Egyptian dude wearing that Pharaoh thing on his head. Visibly well over 40 years of age. I mean, come on. A group of some sort of Spanish spaniards speaking so loud, you could probably hear them all the way in their forrin Spanish Madrid. And what's with all that facial piercing. You're forrin and thus ugly, why make it worse? Oh, man. So many bizarre forrins everywhere. A guy drinking our beer with Portugal shirt on, talking on the phone in that some kind of Spanish they speak over there with a ton of Shhhhh sounds. And those boys from Poland. Why so many of you are bald? Some sort of SKA-punk fashion statement? And no, that Shhhhhhhh sound you lot use all the time is also very audible, no reason to pretend that you are local. Those cunning forrins. Other than that, I am well chuffed. Starts today. Can not wait.

Senegal will be based in Kaluga, a city about 3 hours away by car from Moscow, so practically a distant suburb by our standards. Even though it's a different region. This is where legendary Mendeleev invented a certain Periodic Table of Chemical Elements, basically established several scientific principles upon which modern space exploration was made possible and invented the universal recipe for vodka. Not to be confused with distillate, the guy actually established the production principle for getting the best and purest formula for a 40% vol product. Been there quite a few times during summer vacation in my youth, there is a lovely museum dedicated to Kaluga's favorite son. Anyone who is really into the history of science should pay a visit. A decent choice by Senegal, quiet town (by our standards, obviously a city for most Europeans), nice people and none of the distractions some other larger places may have. These guys have a decent squad, some genuine quality there. Will see Koulibaly in flesh (for some reason don't really like Mane, but really rate the big Napoli fella). Will probably prefer them to finish second after Colombia, but will be tricky, as Poland certainly have some tremendous players as well. A few kids went mental after taking a selfie with Messi. Man, time flies. It would be pointless to debate with them if Maradona was a better player when they grow up. A 86 year old lady will be among the volunteers in Saransk. A rather funny story how she insisted upon being among, dare I say it, significantly younger people helping those forrin forrins getting around the fan-zones and stadium vicinity. Anyone who will be in Moscow ticketless - all the matches will be aired live on a huge screen in the central fan-zone, located in Gorky Park. Which is big, has plenty of restaurants and all those bike/skater activities so adored by men in their late 30's who still fancy their chances chasing younger skirt. Located on the riverside, the view is great. Also, a ton of things to do late night and quite a few forrins living in Moscow go there to get some food, music and learn some fancy dance moves. Swedes have arrived in Gelendzhik in the Krasnodar Region. Cue plethora of jokes about how they will end up having an orgy, because the town has a reputation as being a resort for younger blue collar audience, who can't afford the mental prices of Sochi or Anapa. Personally, think these are slightly underrated. Some interesting younger players coming through. And Forsberg is a real star, terrific player. Neymar congratulated Coutinho writing Happy Birthday in Russian on Insta. Working on his social media accounts must be fun. No word on him being able to properly pronounce though. A certain former Newcastle United number 9 has arrived as well and described the reception as terrific. Your club does have a bit of a following among those who started watching football in early 90's. Also, Ketsbaia factor, what with a ton of Georgians historically living all over Russia. Got a few calls form the hotels I booked checking if I was indeed coming over. Oh, yes I am. Don't even dream of getting a cancelation days before the thing starts so that some poor forrin will be paying way over the going rate. Sunday night train departing to Kazan, a few bottles of vinho verde at the ready. Haven't felt this chuffed since I was like ten and it was New Year' eve.

There is ton of enthusiasm and a never-ending stream of verbal sh!t directed at our national team. All at the same time No, people are genuinely excited. Of course, a lot of questions about the costs and what made some believe that serious football clubs will occupy the stadium once the tournament is over. Kinda like in Brazil where a few stadium were built in the relative football wilderness. And who in the world would ever go to Saransk on vacation. Even people from Saransk don't argue with that. But, I am not rational enough to listen to people who still think that hosting Olympics, World a Cups and such is a bad idea. Call me a cynic, but the politicians and those who really matter in the business world will always find new and fun ways to get something dodgy done. And by that I mean - pretty much anywhere. I would much rather see some of the cities whose leaders would otherwise do very little or nothing at all, but serve their own economical interests, get refurbished and have infrastructural improvements this way. The kids who applied for volunteer positions (turns out there were far more applicants than FIFA and RSF ever had openings) can not wait, and don't even get me started on those in bar/restaraunt/nightclub business. I mean, it's the freaking World Cup. As for the hooligan thing. As a serious fan, I plan my away trips months in advance and of course (as any honest away going fan will admit) you kind of bump into or just know someone in the know. Or know someone who knows someone in the know, if you get what I mean. The majority will leave Moscow and St Petersburg all together for the duration of the tournament. Those who were unable to get their vacation sorted will stay away at home or watch the games in a bar. Too many serious warnings from the police, a whole bunch of black lists, anyone with a single administrative fine for anything (like urinating on a fence; swearing at a police officer; wearing a Buzzcocks shirt; getting drunk in a public place, let alone rowdy behavior) near a football match during the last 15 years has been marked. I kid you not. But, you have to understand that this is mostly about Moscow and St Petersburg. People in, say, Kazan or Sochi wouldn't even understand what you're on about because the fan culture there is just a laid back one. You know, friends and families, older blokes who have been going for years having beer-influenced discussions on tactics,etc. Don't let some idiotic stickers in pub restrooms fool you. I personally know a guy in his late 40s, who told me a story while we were waiting for our season tickets a year ago. He wanted to attend one of the Confederation Cup matches with his kids, bought the tickets, got the Fan ID done. And was just about to enter the stadium, when a steward checked his ID and requested a police officer to show up. The man in question was very politely asked if he has ever been to Volgograd in the summer of 1998. He said yes. He was then informed that since he is on file as having been fined for a drunk scuffle near the train station there on a day of Rotor Volgograd - Dynamo Moscow match wearing team colors, his name in marked in a football hooligan database and it is recommended that he leaves the premises immediately and will not be granted entry. And the said scuffle was actually among people who had a few too many beers and started (rather loudly and in industrial terms and expressions) discussing why our national team missed the World Cup that year. The guy is not a violent type at all, brags about having just one speeding ticket all his life, one of those Internet dudes. Never went away for over ten years. Is in no way involved with any our (admittedly) violent ultras groups. Yet, he will not be able to attend because of one incident 20 years ago. Some might consider this to be a bit extreme, but I am sure if you actually socialize with people on a consistent basis, you certainly know someone who may had a drunken fight in a pub, argued publicly about a girl, etc. To the best of my knowledge, this is also how the Britich police tackled hooliganism after Taylor report. Being unforgiving and ruthless. Even if a bit extreme sometimes. Just this past spring, as I was enjoying a fantastic 1-1 bore draw (with -15 degrees Celcius outside, this being early March) away in lovely Ufa (another great city which would have been a fantastic host, far better than Saransk) and pondering my perhaps too enthusiastic night out before with some of the friendliest strippers I have ever met, I overheard a conversation of a few "proper hard lads" in our section who were discussing how they plan to take their lasses to Cyprus for the tournament because the OB "won't let you take a wank" (almost a literal translation) if you're anywhere near the stadium on matchday. I remember this not due to a rather strong hangover mixed with a feeling of slight guilt (man, those strippers know how to make you unusually generous) anyone over the age of 30 expreriences when you spend more than you originally planned, but due to the fact that I almost pissed myself laughing upon hearing all of this and was given a few "proper hard lad" looks as a result. They're like Bieber fans, only more violent and take this whole "game" thing far too seriously. Now, I can't remember a single WC or Euro that went completely incident-free. Someday someone will have a drunken brawl. Somebody might get mugged. Some taxi driver will try to cheat. Someone will complain about crappy hookah in a strip bar (a global trend, by the looks of it). Somebody will whine about stewards or police allegedly or very likely not being competent enough. These things always happen, unfortunately. Large groups of very diverse people on vacation. What do we expect? 99 percent will come to have fun and socialize, 1 percent will always find an adventurous avenue for their arse, as we say. But, there is always a but Personally, I am more concerned about (metaphorically speaking) chavs meeting chavs. Say, a chav from some Ruhr Valley outpost wanders in a working class residential area in suburban Samara and says something a local chav won't understand. Say, it's late night and they both had a few shots of some brain stopping juice. Say, they could either sing songs and communicate, or start a fight. Guess, what (and how) will be reported in the West if the German chav ends up defeated and injured? I hope, you understand what I mean. I've been to plenty of genuine working class (and downright poor) neighborhoods in quite a few countries, and in no way do I suggest that trouble is around the corner if you wander off a tourist route or end up somewhere far away from a city center. I mean, judging by what you guys write about Sunderland and Boro, a person without any sense would be sh!tscared of coming over to England So, in a nutshell, I think that any negative incidents will be about some drunken behavior, which will undoubtedly happen purely down to the amount of people involved. And will absolutely be front page "LOOK AT THOSE SICK ANIMALS" material, of that I have no doubt. As is the case with any trip abroad, common sense and logic usually spares a traveler of any trouble. Hopefully, I made myself clear and didn't offend any chavs. Have nothing against them, obviously As for the long posts - I apologize if it is of any inconvenience. But it's an age old habit of me, not gonna change

The Brazilians have landed in Sochi. Neymar is already spamming the web with photos of himself and his teammates having fun on the beach. The question of his fitness remains, but hopefully he gets into tip top shape as the tournament goes. A lot of people don't like him for whatever reason, but I think he is a hell of a footballer and could prove to be decisive. And personally, find the whole money-grabber accusation a bit thick. Football is plastered with the likes of Shaquiri and Oscar, who don't even pretend to be driven by anything other than money, purely a job for them. And people complain about Neymar. Whatever. I would much rather Brazil win then other forrin forrins. Although, I picked Colombia to support. The Serbs arrived in Kaliningrad and started playing the old "brotha" song. Well, some of them did anyway. As if it would make them non-forrin somehow. For a whole variety of historical, political and religious reasons going all the way centuries ago, Serbia and Montenegro (Bulgaria as well, to a lesser extent) are viewed as brotherly nations due to them being Orthodox, Slavic and using Cyrillic alphabet by some of the God-fearing compatriots of mine. Me, I still don't get all the fuss over that Yugoslavia team at Italia90 (brilliant on paper, rather mediocre on the pitch) and thus don't get the whole sporting Yugo-love fest. Plenty of people here cheer on Croatia as well. Anyhow, they will sure as hell command a lot of support from the stands. But no matter the quality on paper, nobody can escape a good transfer saga. And with the window being shorter in England and Italy starting this summer, I can easily see how Sergej's stay or go mumblings will affect the entire team. The Switzerland game should be a banter-filled fun fest, that's for sure. Panama will stay just outside of Saransk, giving so many avenues for creative jokes about a nothing team in a nothing town. But, evil sarcasm aside, their coach loves it there, probably still pinching himself for being at the World Cup. Two Panamanian fans that I know of (curiously - of Chinese and Cuban descent respectively) to this day can't explain how they made it. The way they put it - comparing them with Costa Rica is like comparing Brazil to Guyana when it comes down to football. Go figure. Argentina are staying at a resort in Bronnizi, and the owner of the thing greeted the team with a huge picture depicting them as gladiators. Cristian Ansaldi (played for Rubin and Zenit a while ago, obviously) went ballistic on Insta. I don't share the enthusiasm, since the resort owner is obviously a Spartak fan, and they have no taste by definition. Some former Argie favorites who plied their trade in our league are also arriving - Fernando Cavenaghi (will never forgive him for ruining my birthday by being one of the goalscorers is a 1-5 derby defeat when he was with the pigs) and Hector Bracamonte (a bit of a cult figure here, learned the language, was very involved socially and who can forget that haircut). I also hope that Leandro Fernandez, who joined my club after winning the Olympic Gold in Beijing, will be a part of some TV setup. Gave us a good decade of peerless, no-nonsense service and remained loyal even when the likes of Lazio and Sevilla came calling. Ended up winning nothing, but boy was he a warrior. It is because of him that I found myself in agreement with Cesar Menotti's genius assessment of Argentinian football - the best are from Rosario. So true. Croats have landed in St Petersburg, cue tons of rumors about Modric joining Zenit. As we love to say, there is something in the water there. But then again, I didn't believe that they would pull off Hulk and Witsel in one window, and they did. But FFP made sure that any rich club from Russia or Turkey is practically unable to go for real game-changers, so the virgin integrity of UEFA competitions will stay intact, irrespective of what some deluded hobo (affectional names for Zenit fans and players) journalist thinks. These will get a sizable amount of local support due to some of the above-mentioned reasons (even though they're Catholic) and quite a few fan favorites leaving a mark on local league. Like Stipe Pletikosa, who played for the pigs and then joined Rostov signing a contract that even a kid would deem dodgy (imagine agreeing to join a club that pays you a legal permitted monthly minimum income and provides the rest of your rather outlandish salary from a ton of separate sources, and then those sources opt out due to a conflict with the club's board) and went on national TV screaming bloody murder. As the old saying goes, not all footballers are smart. But, in fairness, I am in full agreement with him on Rostov-on-Don being a very special place. They might actually be decent. But because of Modric and Lovren (the whole lying in court thing) I am kind of indifferent. The Swiss will stay in Togliatti and boy did it ever cause a steer among the many local Facebook standup wannabes. An industrial city (this is where the Ladas are made) known as Stavropol until 1964, when it was renamed Togliatti in honour of Italian communist Palmiro Togliatti who died the same year. A rather fascinating historical figure, absolutely hated the nazis and Duce. Anyhow, this is not exactly Wolfsburg or Leverkusen. Kind of like a smaller Detroit, sans the ghettos. A hockey-mad city (Alexei Kovakev, Viktor Kozlov, Ilya Bryzgalov, Alexei Emelin and Igor Grigorenko are local academy graduates among many others) and basically a huge suburb of Samara. Especially, if you ask someone who is from Samara. Granted, the Zhiguli mountains are fantastic and Volga is a short car drive away, but still a rather curious choice for stay. Used to be quite a newsmaker of a city, for all the wrong reasons, during the riproaring 90s. As they say - hipsters, cosplay enthusiasts and fancy rappers don't live here. For whatever reason. If you thought that Nigerian retro kit was lush, just check out the suits they wore before departure to the World Cup. Man, and those hats! Proper African fashion that, unlike the kits (personally found them a bit meh) this attire is bloody brilliant. Styling and profiling, like. That Golovin kid Rafa was linked with is in high demand. Napoli, Arsenal, Chelsea and Monaco are sniffing around and it is alleged that now Juve have entered the fray with an opening 17 million Euros bid. Some of their directors are visiting the tournament and a few of rather reliable ITKs suggest that they will meet with CSKA big shots before the end of the week to see if the deal can be done fast. Good luck with that, CSKA chairman Evgeny Giner is basically Levy and Oulas wrapped in one when it comes to transfer negotiations. Of course, a sceptic will name Zavarov and Aleynikov as failed replacements for a certain Michel Platini, but somehow I think he would flourish in Italy or Spain, and the said figures are from way back. A very smart kid, none of the fast cars, fast clubs, fast girls BS that seems to unite quite a few footballers world over, has the technical and tactical nous to succeed at the highest level. Hails from Novokuznetsk, a heavy industry city in Siberia, known more for a great youth setup in hockey (Dmitry Orlov just won the Stanley Cup with Washington, Sergei Bobrovsky needs no introduction to any hockey fan, both local boys) than football. I can understand perfectly why Rafa would be interested - imagine a slightly more technical Shelvey, but without the mental streak. We'll see. Too many talented youngsters failed before, for a whole variety of reasons. I decided to finish my Panini album after the tournament, calmly exchanging the extra stickers with those that I miss with other sad adults who can't find a calmer hobby. If I see another Vardy, Cristiano or that Sliti lad, I will go to the Italian Embassy protesting the evil ways of those greedy coonts in Modena, like. I mean, this is getting ridiculous now.

Weinstein fan of the day - Jorge Sampaoli. A huge scandal is brewing in Argentina as the iconic gaffer is being accused of sexually harassing the lady who is the chef cook for the national team. Some even suggest that the head of their Federation tried to bribe the woman so that the story would be swept under the carpet. Supposedly, they will sack him after the World Cup irrespective of the outcome. Oh, the drama. Now, I don't want to generalize, but there is indeed something sinister in some of the lads with those sleeve long tatts. Especially, if they're bald and are over the age of 40. Iceland had a road cone accidentally included in their team photo when they arrived at Euro16, so they now take it everywhere and put it in front of them as a good luck charm. Oh those mental herring eaters More and more forrins coming over, walking our streets, drinking our booze and all. Those forrin forrins. Got texts from friends in St Petersburg and Nizhni Novgorod about large groups of Colombians and Italians walking around, shopping, taking pictures and acting all touristy. Forrins. Robbie Williams and the original (and best) Ronaldo will be a part of the pre-game show on opening day. Don't really mind Robbie, but I would opt for a Peace Sells performance from Megadeth and perhaps a bit of of good old 50 Cent with something like Candy Shop to get the crowd going. Jose Mourinho, Stan Collymore and Peter Schmeichel will be covering the tournament for RT, prompting all sorts of magnificent accusations and word "allegedly" being bandied around. Personally, I am not familiar with their sporting shows, but might tune in and watch to see if there is anything fun and informative there. Probably boring and cliche-infested match roundup and a few chats with fans before and after the games. I mean, Peter Schmeichel with all the charisma of Peter Schmeichel. Jose being Jose. And Collymore potentially telling stories about his fun in the parking lots. I would ask Cantona, Gazza and Ronaldinho do the shows. Now that would be epic. With star appearances from Edmundo, Maradona and Effenberg. Imagine the insanity of it all

Uruguay will be based in Nizhny Novgorod, and I sure as hell hope they will stay somewhere suburban. These forrins looked a bit tired when exiting the plane, for whatever reason. There is a lovely downtown riverside party area with quite a few bars, nightclubs and places where cultured gentlemen with spare cash go to drown their family life misery while drooling over naked girls doing the pole dance thing. I can not even remember the exact amount of times work and leisure took me there, and am counting down the days till Argentina Croatia, Messi in flesh. Hopefully, party animals like Martin Caceres and Jose Jimenez will be on full lockdown. Plenty to see and do after dark, like. Local hipsters, who own like every single of the gazillion craft beer joints in Russia these days by the looks of it, are baths!t mental at the prospective sales. If you or your friends go - don't leave without trying the many, many local flavored distillates (nastoika in Russian). Morocco arrived in Voronezh, a proper passionate football city, whose political leaders opted against bidding to become a host city and concentrated on the extremely profitable building projects and nuclear energy development (there is a huge modern energy plant on the outskirts, a local friend of mine actually took me there two years ago, ferking immense that thing from afar). The local football side (relegated from second tier with an unbelievably crappy squad) is delightfully named Fakel - pronounced Fu-ckeel. You are welcome. I would assume that some of Moroccan players are feasting right now, but they call up so many dudes who were born in France, Belgium, Netherlands that I am sure the local nightclub owners would not be completely disappointed. I wanted to insert a joke about Saransk still being a host city here, but there are some many already, so I resist. I mean pleasing the cement industry overlords in Saransk over the city with some of the most beautiful women anywhere on this planet, the birthplace of the Russian Navy under Peter The Great, lovely climate and tons of theaters and museums. Rich people being bitches shocker, like. Oh well. Portugal held their first training session at Kratovo sports complex, and Cristiano was greeted with an ovation from a few young fans and journalists in attendance. Was very moody at first, but went on to cheer himself up and perform some forrin magic. I am of the opinion that his Real Madrid go/stay saga will influence them immensely. Egypt will stay in Grozny. The capital city in Chechnya. Cue some fantastic and absolutely hilarious jokes about two recent horrific civil wars from some of the more humorous types, no doubt. Yeah, I know that Ramzan Kadyrov is dodgy as hell and actually used to fight against our army in his youth, but I also believe that bad peace is better than a good war. The entire republic was rebuilt and Grozny, pretty much annihilated during the first war, was practically created from scratch in a very Middle East-ish manner. Their stadium is state of the art, I am doing Terek Grozny away next season, but the guys I know who went in recent seasons quite liked it. Although, it is a very distinct place obviously, predominantly avid Muslim. Salah was described as the best player in the world by the big shots who greeted the team. Very close relations between key military officials in Russia and Egypt proved decisive, but it was the worst kept-secret that one of the teams from a Muslim country will stay there during the tournament. Except for Iran, obviously. The forrin forrins from Germany picked Sochi. The cocky, posh mugs. They loved their stay there during the Confederations Cup and Low insisted on returning this year. They actually sent a lovely message to the resort staff and volunteers who made their stay rather enjoyable last year, classy that. I would hate it if they win the whole thing, they have way too many good players. Unfair, like. The French were greeted at their base in Istra (a riverside resort area in the Moscow region) with a pleasant welcoming gift. Each and every door was transformed into a painting, featuring the player staying in that room. Looked pretty cool on Insta. I don't want them to win because of Pogba. He became quite unbearable with his football. Although, I must admit, I base this entirely on his form the CL. Also, Giroud. That haircut. No way anyone having that on his head deserves to lift the World Cup. And on a more personal note, my beloved pet tortoise ran away from me during a family picnic there when I was 7. The scar still remains. So no win for France from me for picking that site, like. Some Spanish blokes from a non-sporting paper shot a video inside FC Krasnodar stadium, wondering why the hell that venue and that city are not part of the fun. Well, they're not the only ones. The friendly with Tunisia was a sellout, most people rooting for the forrins from Spain. Some local graffiti guys did a heck of a decorating job with some huge Yashin, Ramos, etc drawings on city walls. Those southerners, always having fun. The Saudis will be based in Rostov-on-Don. Excellent, proper canny choice for a summer stay if you are a member of a large male group from a very religious country. Kind of like sending a bunch of nuns to South Beach. Or holding a conference on celibate in San Fernando Valley. But for now, they are in St Petersburg and their training session somehow managed to attract 3000 locals. I almost completed their squad in my Panini album. Still can't remember any of their names. Just checked - those 12 players that were sent to a few Primera and Segunda clubs in Spain to gain experience played a total of 13 minutes between them. Then again, we lost to freaking Qatar two years ago, so go figure. Fantastically named Macbeth Sibaya, a former South Africa international who won two league titles with Rubin Kazan back in the day, remembered how some people there asked him if his Drenthe haircut was real or just a fancy reggae wig. Remember being jealous as hell that they had a battler like him in their engine room at the time. But his hairdo did look like a wig, to be fair. Bobby Carlos, no doubt still awash with cash from Souleyman Kerimov's Anzhi adventure, talked about the many things he saw and experienced here, including those morons in St Petersburg and Samara who threw bananas at him. Somehow, did not come to the conclusion that we live in a racist, xenophobic hellhole. Then again, people who will watch the European Supercup this August probably don't associate the vast majority of the respective clubs' fans with those charming far-right idiots among Atletico Madrid and Real Madrid active support. But those nutters live among modern, civilized people, so Bobby is obviously brainwashed in saying something daft like that about us. And in no way do I imply that we don't have our own share of knuckle dragging scum by writing any of the above, just in case. My club, Dynamo Moscow, have cancelled their partnership with one of our biggest football sites after a rather rude, historically incorrect and simply put moronic article about Lev Yashin. Basically, the young vaping fan who wrote it suggested that it is pretty stupid to suggest that the goalkeeper named as the best in 20th century by FIFA is a great of the game because his error against Colombia in 1962 led to our elimination. Using the type of mem-filled teen language that would make some spotty Facebook users arguing over the greatness of Bieber proud. The editor asked the author to change the idiotic article name, and then even removed the thing and apologized for very offensive language used in it. And for the first time in like 20 years, my club's brass actually acted as if there are some things that can not and must not be tolerated with regards to our past. Imagine if Mike Ashley would tell some young, self-righteous media type writing mean crap about Sir Bobby or Keegan to go stuff his poophole with rusty nails. After years of being Mike Ashley. Pretty much how I feel right now, bizarrely approving of an otherwise corrupt, lying and severely unprofessional board. Several days before the World Cup at home and some deluded w@nker feels the urge to write crap about our arguably greatest ever player, and above all - a fantastic person who isn't even among us anymore. Unbelievable. Those kids and their "so what" views.

It's a quite wonderful display of Russian whataboutism in action. Probably needs taking to the Russia thread in General chat though, not sure having all the world cup chat punctuated with massacres and international slavery is going to help keep the mood light Couldn't agree more.

https://www.csce.gov/sites/helsinkicommission.house.gov/files/Russia%20World%20Cup%20Design%20FINAL.pdf Only happens in third world crapholes like Russia, China and Brazil, I agree No one of serious wealth and influence has ever gained anything from any event anywhere else. Not a single illegal worker ever participated in building of sporting infrastructure in, dare I say it, States or Canada, for example. Never happened. Funny how the (overwhelming) majority of such events are held outside of our corrupt, murderous and hideous country, yet the whole corruption and oligarchs (we're the only ones who have them, obviously ) thing is ever being brought up when serious economical and political interests collide, leading to a whole bunch of serious conflicts. Must be a coincidence. Simple solution. Everyone should boycott. That would obviously solve everything. Billions at stake. Of course some people will get richer. What a shock. Man, I thought I was being a dick but you just took the cake. You can't compare your little third world craphole with modern nations. Sure, there'll be a little graft and jobs for the boys but you lot just take the piss. I seriously doubt you've actually read any of the links that have been posted in the last couple of pages. Go back, read, if you still hold that view then fair enough. I read The Guardian and watch BBC a few times a week, for a variety of reasons. Curiosity to know the other views among them. Also, I live here all my life and yet managed to travel to quite a few places as well and can easily provide any avid N-O user with plenty of even more fascinating links with all sorts of sad and shocking things from all over the world. Including the modern nations, as you put it. Some people expect a football festival, some people in "modern" nations opt against it, cos they are well shocked and gravely concerned. Fair enough. I still, for whatever reason, don't think that everyone in Newcastle is actually punching horses And what's with "you lot", like? Looked a bit like "you people". Judging an incredibly diverse nation of over 140 million people based on something you read on the Internet. Yet, "we" take the piss. It's a football forum. The World Cup is almost here. Let's have a beer. Or, preferably, ten.

A killing spree took place there last year didn't it? I believe so, yes. A killing spree is of course unthinkable in the metro NYC or LA area, for example. We may even spot how the rich and powerful still prefer to live there and none of the cities loses any of the appeal. Unfortunately, that's the way huge cities roll. Posh and luxurious is never too far away from crime. I heard that London is a rather contrasting city, but still enormously appealing to millions of people all over the place. Did the athletes feel unsafe during the Olympics in 2012? Does the obvious answer to that question contradict that somebody probably murdered somebody during the event? Well, I rest my case. You'll have more of a chance to go deaf because of the loud music some of the residents flash their "my dick is bigger" cars with, than meet a serial killer there.

https://www.csce.gov/sites/helsinkicommission.house.gov/files/Russia%20World%20Cup%20Design%20FINAL.pdf Only happens in third world crapholes like Russia, China and Brazil, I agree No one of serious wealth and influence has ever gained anything from any event anywhere else. Not a single illegal worker ever participated in building of sporting infrastructure in, dare I say it, States or Canada, for example. Never happened. Funny how the (overwhelming) majority of such events are held outside of our corrupt, murderous and hideous country, yet the whole corruption and oligarchs (we're the only ones who have them, obviously ) thing is ever being brought up when serious economical and political interests collide, leading to a whole bunch of serious conflicts. Must be a coincidence. Simple solution. Everyone should boycott. That would obviously solve everything. Billions at stake. Of course some people will get richer. What a shock.

I ever said ANYTHING to that effect?

Portugal have arrived to their base in Kratovo (basically a posh forest resort, about 50 minutes by train from Moscow) and found out that each and every player's room was decorated with a customized photo. A specific player in action during his youth and during last season. Judging by Insta - Pepe and Gudes were well chuffed. This is the same place where Anzhi used to live back in their money-rich days, Eto'o and Bobby Carlos arriving by helicopter after a night out in Moscow, Bugattis and Ferraris in the parking lots, several personal fitness gurus and chefs hired by their owner, outlandishly expensive media brunches and all that. Tons of tales and anecdotes from that period. A rather cool gesture from the resort owners. Too bad their local side Saturn Ramenskoe are basically a bit crap now, down in the third tier. Spain have arrived to Krasnodar and were met with a kazak (Cossack? I am not sure how you guys spell it) orchestra and some enormous loafs of bread (greeting your guest with bread and salt is sort of a ceremonial tradition here, although it's mostly done for important meetings with rich/influential forrins and weddings). Judging by the faces of some of their players, their wives and girlfriends must be very concerned. But it was Lopetegui's call, so if anything goes wrong, can't blame the players Iniesta was greeted like a God, will hear like a ton of adoring kids screaming his name when they have open training sessions at FC Krasnodar stadium. Certain members of Mexican squad have allegedly arranged an orgy in their hotel a few days before departing for the World Cup. Or maybe, those dudes just had a few beers. Those tabloids. Bumped into some Aussie politician commenting on thinking not once, not twice, but thrice before even considering a trip here. Which is quite funny because their national team is immensely popular among the casual fans in Russia, for some reason. I know a guy in Samara who was rather surprised that Viduka and Kewell were not picked, but is still ecstatic about seeing Cahill. But, truth to be told, he didn't really follow football for like ten years. Iceland can also count on quite a few local neutrals' support. Here's a free drink (or ten) tip for any Icelander in Rostov-on-Don - wear your national team shirt everywhere. Three of their footballers play there and are rather popular among FC Rostov fans. CSKA are supposed to sign some tall Icelander from Bristol City as well. Those agents, like. Most polls show that our fans expect the big prize to be contested between forrin forrins like Germany, Brazil, Spain, France and Argentina. Rather unsurprisingly, I might add. Portugal, Engalnd and Belgium (insanely overrated in my opinion) also got a few shouts in some of the polls that I studied. But teams like Mexico, Colombia, Peru, Nigeria and Sweden can also count on a quite a few people cheering them on for a variety of reasons. Mexico for an amazing party atmosphere their vast number of fans created last year at the Confederations Cup. Colombia because their current generation is rather popular as well (plus there will also be a lot of fans from there, can't wait). Peru can count on every Lokomotiv Moscow fan (Farfan factor and now like three guys from their squad linked with them). Nigeria have historically been the most followed African team among our football fans (along with Cameroon and Ivory Coast) and quire a few of their guys have played in our league. And we play like a ton of international hockey games, on every level, against those Swedes. Always a good laugh and plenty of beer and strong spirits, and their dudes don't freaking drool at our women like some other forrins do for obvious reasons Just a week removed from my train to Kazan and (finally) some booze consumption as well. This whole "off the juice" thing is only ever good in small doses

Well that's a horrifying read Viciously profit-driven capitalists with certain connections being viscioulsy profit-driven capitalists with certain connections shocker. I sincerely hope the uber-concerned authors believe in some God or at least Santa Claus, because they will make oh so many discoveries about life being unfair and sometimes, dare I say it, genuinely horrible. Could provide them with some fascinating tales about certain current residents of London, Monte Carlo, Nice, Paris, New York City and Miami who made their fortunes here over the last 25 years, but they sometimes don't like Putin, so must be good upstanding citizens with values that are appreciated and some even own famous sports teams. So proud of them. At least, they don't hire poor guys from North Korea. Couldn't be more sincere in wishing them all the best in their heart-driven attempts to tackle the many pressing issues. Yeah, I am being sarcastic. This whole "grave concern" and "sincere outrage" from the very same people who have Greenpeace stickers on their laptops, but have no idea how much water is needed to manufacture one and what conditions are the norm for those who actually produce the said device is really fascinating. But nothing new. This thing took almost ten years to build, became everyone's favourite monument to corruption and greed and an eternal source for all sorts of jokes about pretty much anything St Petersburg. How shocking indeed. Never happened before anywhere else, obviously never will happen again anywhere else. On to things that are a bit more optimistic: - Argentina brought 2 tons of food supplies with them, probably confusing us with Brazil or Uruguay Their president is going to pay a visit if they make the final. Gloryhunter, obviously. - Danny Rose went full Sol Campbell/Theo Walcott mode and told his dad not to bother coming over. We are all hateful racists here, as is well-documented, bananas are only sold to anyone over the age of 6 if you can then factually prove that you will proceed to throw a certain percentage of them in the direction of anyone with a different skin tone. Making monkey noises in process, obviously. Kinda like why nobody is legally allowed to own a horse in Newcastle. Everybody will punch it, wearing a Shearer shirt with a greasy spot on it, so there. Judging by Rose's presumed logic - all modern pro footballers are basically thick, arrogant, partying, escort-loving show-offs with a mental capacity of a spoilt 16 y.o. kid and all the loyalty of a brothel employee. For some bizarre reason, I don't think that's the case, but good old Danny knows better, so whatever rings his tune. - Enormously fun things going on in our club football, what with three second-tier clubs going under in a span of two weeks and everyone either going ape-sh!t mental with anger or acting like Larry David. Promise to post a joke-filled post on it next week, some of the characters involved make Max Cellini or Kenny Bates look like competent people - bought myself three Colombia shirts (one with a 10 at the back, an Italia90 retro kit) and an Argentina78 long sleeve kit. Along with two Colombia tracksuit tops and a hat. What can I say, Adidas are mental with their pricing. But they sure know how to ecstort cash from hopelessly romantic football fans like me. The buggers Wanted to buy a retro USSR Euro88 one as well (will always hate Netherlands in football after that final ), it had USSR written in Latin, so I politely suggested them cocaine sniffers (AKA designers) to actually watch the game and spot the difference. Turns out, I was one of about a dozen customers that day who made the same complaint, just with more polite metaphors. - Sochi mayor announced that every matchday in their city will be a holiday, prompting a few genuinely loud laughter inducing jokes about them being a resort city and everyone doing nothing there anyhow. Fun pub quiz question - Sochi is the only current World Cup host city located in a subtropical climate zone. You are welcome. - Some BBC dudes tweeted something about suspecting that they are being spied upon. Of course. Eagerly anticipate something about a gorgeous blonde (with very sad eyes, obviously) in red dress plotting something. Allegedly. - I now have a small army of Panini Ronaldos. And so does pretty much everyone else I know who tries to get the thing completed. Unfair. - A friend of mine who works at a hotel and will attend one of the macthes featuring Iran actually managed to meet the father of their star striker Serdar Azmoun. Those Iranians, bringing their forrin families with them, the cheek they have - Our fantastic head coach went full Fergie on a few journalists for daring to ask a few questions about his (admittedly, more than debatable) final selection. And then just started to ignore anyone from the media. Things went so bad, our Madrid-born left winger Denis Cheryshev actually refused to talk to the local media after a friendly (but did talk to the Spanish media). Some scenes and plenty of outrage on social media after that, even though I do tend to agree with Mourinho's infamous definition of a sports journalist, I can perfectly understand why some many hacks and fans got upset. Absolutely magnificent, the geniuses at the Federation couldn't even ask the stubborn coont to at least pretend that he can be anything than a brash and arrogant this and that when somebody asks a daring question. A World Cup. At home. Why act like that. What a tool - judging by a few messages I received from a friend who is in St Petesburg at the moment, the millions of bars/clubs/restaraunts on the famous Rubinstein Street are at the ready

Guy Ritchie joins the fun https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VGykknw9eCM

ManYoo signed a kid from Porto for over 20mil. Diogo Dalot, supposed to a be a real prospect, a right back. Insane prices. Bryan Cristante joins Roma from Atalanta. Finally started to live up to that immense potential, a great signing by Monchi. Perin signed for Juve from Genoa. Federico Marchetti who missed a whole of last season after a huge argument with Lotito at Lazio joins Genoa to replace him. Villarreal signed Toko Ekambi from Angers, could be a great pickup for them. Parma allegedly after Peter Crouch and Giuseppe Rossi. Imagine that pairing. Balotelli thought to be seriously considering a Puma-influenced offer to sign for OM (they take over from Adidas next season and want a marquee player there). John O'Shea will continue to dazzle and inspire the footballing purists, this time at Reading. I genuinely thought that he retired like five years ago, for some reason.

So, it it true that their plight is basically Leeds/Pompey on steroids? How does that fit and proper test even work if there were/are such questionable dudes running quite a few clubs all over the place? On second thoughts, that was probably too sarcastic Name a country where a ton of money and football doesn't result with at least some fans being completely shafted.

Here is how our local Bwin boys promote the World Cup. Personally despise the whole betting thing, but try not to judge those who choose to part take in this sort of congregated evil https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qLL54pV74VU The idea is you can then vote at Bwin.ru and decide who stole the Cup, in case it isn't obvious enough.

As of Monday, anyone with a passport, Fan ID and match tickets can enter our glorious and insanely diverse land without the need to apply for a visa. Just make sure you depart before 25th of July if you opt for this option. I resisted the urge to joke about how things like that never work in our favor. Canny me, like. Iran are the first squad to arrive. Proper planning. Anyone who might be renting a car in and around Moscow during the tournament - if you’re a radio addict, tune in to Capital FM 105,3. They speak English and play them hits. Or so they say. Would a brief pub/bar guide be of any use? I can provide one for the cities that I managed to visit myself.

Plenty of rumors here stating that Rubin Kazan want to offer him a deal. They went thru a crappy season, but due to their owners and manager I would not dismiss it. Berdyev loves a gifted player and can be very persuasive. But they're not in Europe next season and just finished chopping the squad to comply with FFP (wasters such as Mvilla involved among others). Personally, I think he'll sign for Lesta, OL or OM.

Falcao-Andre Silva swap far more likely imo.

Our 'tached supreme tactical genius revealed the final squad. The ferking bald piggie removed our boys Tashaev and Rausch from the mix. The coont Now I honestly can't remember when was the last time I was so detached from the National squad. Back in 94 when some morons (Kanchekskis, Mostovoi, Shalimov and Kolyvanov among others) wrote a collective letter to the Federation demanding a change of coach right before the World Cup? Some still went, but I can't to this day forgive those who didn't. Well, aside from Igor Dobrovolski. Perhaps the infamous bonus payment crapstorm right before Euro 96? The sad, Clough-like drunken demise of Romantsev in Japan/South Korea when his personal bias prevailed and he didn't call up a couple of key players? But boy, does the current team lack quality compared to any of the above-mentioned. Zhirkov made it, and he's like 40. Denis Cheryshev will undoubtedly get injured again. Genuinely bad central defenders, mediocre at best. Aside from a few youngsters, nothing to crow about. And of course it is generally amusing how after years of Hiddink, Advocaat and Capello the gurus at the Fedration decided that a divisive figure like Cherchesov would be able to light a fire of enthusiasm among the fans. Sure, he was a respected goalkeeper back in the day, but ask any Dynamo or Spartak fans what they think of him. Exactly. This is the kind of job that in theory should electrify and excite, give hope and all. And they ended up hiring him. After the bore draw fetishist Slutsky. I mean, come on. Expectations range from three hopeless defeats to topping the group cos Saudis are crap and Salah can't win games on his own and Uruguay's key players are going to be involved in transfer sagas. Yes, that kind of contrast. Personally, I think we might get the second spot and then get outclassed in the round of 16. Our coach opted against giving a large group of youngsters a genuine chance. His choice, only results will show if he was right. Cherchersov is Ossetian natonality-wise and there are a lot of jokes about how hard it must have been to choose between Gabulov (somehow managed to win the league with Brugge despite being almost 40 and everyone knows it's illegal to play football there if you're over the age of 25) and Dzhanaev to fill in that crucial third keeper spot. Yes, you guessed it, those two guys are also Ossetian and Gabulov who ended up getting the call is now the butt-end of every possible joke regarding squad cheerleading and getting a drink for the head coach. Used to play for us, oh how time flies. In other news - two idiots working at the Shermetievo airport somehow counldn't resist the temptation to nick Nwankwo Kanu's unattended suitcase and removed the $11K from it. Before getting caught within several minutes, because their cunning plan did not include the whole "cameras are everywhere" thing. The cash was returned to the owner and he went on to Kaliningrad where Nigeria will play their opening fixture. Personally, I blame GTA and MTV. Also, their manager supposedly banned interaction with women during the tournament. Is that true? Because it sure as hell works every single time. Not. Bought myself a trendy themed hat. Vacation starts tomorrow. Best days are still ahead.