David Edgar

Absolutely rank Saudi sports washing.

Tosin available because he is toss.

"injured"

And no longer cooking.

Not a single signing with Suds at the club. Maybe he is the problem.

Just gonna delay our transfer dealings even more. "Hi, it is Surdashan "Suds" Gopaladesikan from Newcastle United. We would like to bid for your player." "Certainly, can I ask how you spell your name for our records?" "It is G. O. P..." "I'm sorry, the player you were after has been bought by Chelsea."

Aston Villa versus Saudi Arabia AND IT'S LIVE

Football agents need to all be made to work in the kitchens at Old Trafford. For life.

The only way to guarantee success at the top in footballer is backing from some nefarious cunts. Sadly.

I'll pack it in if we get sold.

This is just sad.

We need to take a step back at this point. Let him go. This Liverpool guy I mean, to avoid any risk of confusion. He's clearly got... Well.

Scouse frogs?

Oh.

Well, it is genuinely significant to say our biggest star player suddenly didn't feature. They aren't gonna ignore it.

Yeah, feels completely counterproductive.

We have become RAWK.

Brush it off as a friendly, but it is properly embarrassing.

Hey, how's preseason going? Losing 4-0 to Celtic. Gordon is wearing a fucking tennis headband.

No, but his poorly controlled hoof into their half summed up the standard of our play.

That hoof by Burn sums today up. So many shit players we are lumbered with.

Great flick that. Loads more flicks please. Keep giving it away with flicks. £60m of flicks to nobody.

Number 40 win a competition? Christ.

We are in for a banter season.