Holmesy

I’m afraid Eddie has got this team choice all wrong here. We look totally clueless

We don’t look anywhere near as dangerous without ASM in the side

Get him on the box more often, he’s class! When you watch that, it’s even more staggering that the likes of Clinton Morrison and Gabby Agbonlahor have media careers.

sorry!

So is your Mum ?

Rice replacing Longstaff would be an amazing upgrade

He scuffed it tbf. It was meant to be a pass back to Pope

What have we done to deserve this guy?

Massive shame if these bubble loving cockney pricks go down. Their fans are a load of shit!

Anthony Gordon ?? Alexander Isak ?

Matty Targett, are you out there somewhere? We need you big man, come back!

ASM says hi ?

I love Eddie’s new version of ASM but he’s almost too unselfish. Get your shots away pal!

Fabian, you sexy fucker!

Best thing about this is you know Eddie will never tell them to sit on the lead. “We want 5, we want 5!”

Almost back to his best yesterday. He knew he had Dalot on toast and the excitement in his body language every time he got the ball and had the chance to run at him was fantastic.

Shearer would be next level. All the decent 5-a-side strikers hold the ball up well, bully the defender and smash the ball past the keeper as hard as they can. The game was made for Shearer. Robert would be a laugh to play with as well, scoring screamers from his own half with every touch. ASM would take the piss

I'd love to see what Le Tissier could do in Division 4 of the Leeds Monday 5-a-side league. I imagine he'd take Le Piss!

Played 5-a-side last night and former PL referee John Moss was playing just before us. He’s an absolute baller! He was miles older than everyone else on his team but he was class. Played up top and just bullied the defender. I just assumed all refs would be shit footballers

I thought it was universally known that they want him out. He's a notorious tightarse whose penny pinching has held them back from moving beyond where they are now. I'm sure they'd all give up the new stadium for a team that actually wins stuff. Their transfer activity under him has been terrible as well

No player hides completely for 90 minutes though. It's about if/when you do hide. If you never show for the ball when you or your teammates are under pressure, you're hiding when it matters most. I suppose passing backwards and sideways thing is a moot point but it's another characteristic of the type of player who hides from the ball

His stats will probably tell you he rarely gives the ball away and has a 90-95% pass completion rate. However, look at him playing with your eyes and you see a guy who almost always passes sideways or backwards, rarely contributes to any attacking move, doesn't score, doesn't assist and won't take the ball under pressure. I'd argue any league 1 or championship midfielder could do the same in a PL team. There are similarities with Scott McT (especially looking at that video) - if he's not prepared to take a pass under pressure to either get his teammate out of trouble or move the ball forward quickly with a one touch pass, he's essentially hiding from the ball.

I'm sure there's still a very decent player in there, but for any team with Champions League aspirations this would be a horrible move. For £20-30m we could \ get someone up-and-coming, injury free and 22-24 years of age, with their career in front of them rather than their best years behind them. It's an Ashley-era type transfer rumour that would never materialise because AOC would want more than £15k per week

This rumour is like a turd that won't flush. Might have to resort to drastic measures, fish it out by hand and stick it in the neighbour's wheelie bin.