Skeletor

Pretty sure lots of people learn English by watching American/British TV/movies and listening to the music. It is a more effective way than reading text books since it's basically how we learn our native language - Hearing and repeating.

Us this summer transfer window: Burns is Mike Ashley.

We're too oil rich to care.

In my day you were lucky if you signed anyone in a transfer window.

Someone not used to being the richest club in the world now.

It's difficult to feel. We've had so many false dawns with takeovers and 13 years of Ashley killed my passion for this club. I still look at NUFC as an empty shell, even now. It's something even a mega takeover can't heal instantly.

Been arrested in Peru for attending a party during lockdown.

I haven't even been paying attention to what's happening and I don't even feel anything about the newest farce. That's the thing that really worries me. Just feel nothing anymore for this club.

One of the security officers at my work place claims he used to patrol outside Ashley's house for the previous company he worked for. Me: "So you must have met him then?" Him: "Yeah I met him a few times. He's much slimmer in real life y'know" Me: "And you didn't take the opportunity to brutally bludgeon him to death?" Him: "What?" Me: "Haha I dunno, nevermind. I'm not a fan I guess. I'm a Newcastle fan." Him: "Oh haha I see. He's actually a really nice bloke." *Feeling my eye start to twitch uncontrollably* Me: "It looks nice outside. Think I'm gonna take a walk" Him: "Ok. Enjoy your lunch break mate!"

Mike Ashley's wet dream. No manager = no spending on players with no hassle.

The same? Except we'll actually pay it instead of just monitoring the situation.

Sounds totally in character for them.

Legend has it that on the Isis flag the writing translates as "Sad Mackem Bastards". OBSESSED! FTM! 6 in a row! Rafa Beneathus! 9-1!

Expecting new signings. What has happened to us?

He'd be dumb if he wasn't giving it a second thought now.

"IT'S ME RAFA!"

I can hardly feel myself changing.

We're rich and we gan win the league!

By my reckoning they are still owed a few more seasons of karma cunt punching them.

Rafa with arab oil money

Fatshley is dead. Be happy.