Ally

True, Shearer does just stand there and smirks for a bit, but theres a few seconds where you can tell he's absolutely shitting himself as Keane is being held back.

Owen and Martins would be totally wasted on the flanks of a 4-3-3.

What a terrible article. Since when was Luque last spotted on loan at PSV?!

Hopefully he's locked himself in his bedroom.

Is he the bloke who scored an overhead kick in the 2002 World Cup?

This seems really odd. Maybe his injury isn't that bad? Can't see why we'd sign a player who is injured for 6 months it makes no sense at all.

Gudjohnson is absolutely quality. Not good enough to dislodge Henry, Ronaldino, Messi or Etoo but he's a bloody good player, would get into most teams.

Its not on the yellow ticker bar, but the breaking news thing came up in red at the top of the screen.

Allardyce and Shepherd are in Barcelona to try and sign Edmilson and Gudjohnson, spotted at the airport. Apologies if this is somewhere else I couldn't be arsed to look.

My Dad just phoned up the box office trying to get one season ticket, anywhere in the ground. Wasn't fussy at all. Was told there has been a 'recent upsurge in demand' and there isn't any spare season tickets anywhere The waiting list returns! Would have never happened last season, weren't they still selling part-season tickets at Christmas?

Very overrated. I hope a good experienced defender alongside him will help bring him along though as he does have talent. I feel a bit sorry for him having to learn from Bramble, Boumsong and Moore over the past few years, that shouldn't be inflicted on anyone.

So glad that Siberski has gone, he's fucking awful. 'Best signing of the season' and all that rubbish, christ. Can't remember who said it on here, but he became a cult hero for simpletons.

Dyer at right back? For fucks sake i've heard it all now, one good game against Luxembourg and a half against Villa a few years back and he's the new Cafu? He's a fucking waster, get rid of the little twat.

Viduka is fucking mint, will be a quality signing. Don't be brainwashed by NUFC.com's agenda!

I liked Parker in his first season, but he was absolutely shite this one just passed. £7-8m is quality business, so long as we don't replace him with a waster like Reo-Coker. Thought Allardyce had a bit more sense than that....

Viduka is top class imo, would love it if we signed him. Dyer wouldn't get in Chelsea's reserve team, the little shit.

Cisse is a shit version of Martins though. He's absolutely terrible imo.

Cisse and Martins upfront? Jesus christ, headless chicken-tastic.

£8m for Parker is class, i'd sell him for that and sign a midfielder who actually does something. Wonder if he'll still be captain (providing he stays).

I'm sure he could have kept them if he wanted.

Great news, i've been slightly worried over the past day that Allardyce would give Bramble one last chance. Thank fuck he hasn't. Obviously he's had his quality games, but it would be a sign of zero ambition to give him a new contract.

How bad was he?!

West Ham are in the wrong and should have had points deducted, but its naive to think that Sheff Utd have been relegated because of it. They've been shite over 38 games, thats why they were relegated.

I gave a right good boo, the fucking pricks.

Thats been a quick year, fucking hell how things have changed! What a night that was, an unbelievable atmosphere. It says a lot for Newcastle as a football club that a testimonial is one of the best days of supporting the club in the last 10 years, but it really was mint.