BottledDog

I'm in love.

Pffft. Giggs.

Says ewe. "According to reports the Magpies have been locked in negotiations to sign the 21-year-old for weeks, after he became unsettled at the German giants." Nevertheless, a baa-rilliant result if we've got him. Think the club have just pulled the wool over the medias eyes again, which the Chronicle are no doubt feeling fairly sheepish about. Welcome to the fold Marino!

Absolute mess of a player.

Carrol coming home? Can't be worth more than a Mitrovic these days.

Big-Baba-Booms.

Just been spotted tipping cows on Dukes moor. Dude's clearly frustrated.

Thing is - I think there is value to be had. Had a look at https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/statistik/saisontransfers and there are some decent value transfers that have gone through (admittedly for a few of these, I'm going off reputation rather than having watched them extensively and some would be unobtainable due to the club they moved to being more attractive than us or work permit issues): Driussi - 12.5m Karsdorp - 11.9m Semedo - 11.9m Enes Unal - 11.9m Konoplyanka - 10.6m Dahoud - 10.2m Ounas - 8.5m Bertrand Traore - 8.5m Riedewald - 7.65m Robertson 7.65m Germain - 6.8m Gnabry - 6.8m Lozano - 6.8m Haller - 5.95m Chalobah - 4.85m Gonalons - 4.25m Willems - 4.25m Most of those guys would improve us and they aren't extortionate fees in today's market. And there are a fair few I've missed off the list. Fair play, but their transfer fees are not exactly rock solid. They still have Murphy at £850k - https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/jacob-murphy/profil/spieler/199527

Eight years? Christ, that was the last preseason game I went too.

Tongues are inside bits, not outside bits. Put it away young man. Welcome Jacob, lovely video!

Fairly wary of that quote considering our final performance in the cup last year.

SSN have just confirmed that 'this lad is 100% shit'.

Come on They do nothing for weeks and then we have two signings having medicals within a day of him speaking out. Of course they are the reason. Give over

Oh oh, look at me. Could have made a mint in China. Fine, you're a political animal, and no problem with nudging Mike in the kidneys, but that seems a little cheap.

People say 'we got more than our monies worth from you', but I would have had to watch you live 342,857.13 times to just about cover your salary, not including cheaper cup games. Financially I would have struggled, and honesty the 10s of times I did watch you start games was enough. Godspeed fella, but I still think I'd have been better off investing in Beanie Babies for entertainment value.

No. And he's not a cunt. He's lovely. That said, I think removing him from his twin will cause unforseen and quite terrible consequences.

Fuggit, gone down the rabbit hole now....

But what about Josh? Home alone. Seems a nice lad. Yup.

Disgusting. We overpaid by 1400%. https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/jacob-murphy/profil/spieler/199527

But what about Josh? Home alone.

I demand a photo of a TV.

http://i.imgur.com/3QbfZEO.jpg

Yup, surprised we haven't had more links with the Spain and beyond under Rafa. I know the vast majority of links are the press making shit up, but was hoping he'd be using his contacts with Real etc. to get us some quality possibly overlooked by the rest of the league. As it stands, our buys have been underwhelming, and the players we've been linked with have been equally uninspiring or just Prem kids on loan. It's ummm, all a bit weird.

Maybe about 10% of those named? Abraham and Cairney seem as close to confirmed interest as we're likely to get without signing.

Beaten to his signing by Derby. I weep with embarrassment.