James

Theory #387 - We haven't announced this one to give the newspapers recyclable column inches, allowing club officials to get on with their jobs without the media snooping.

A word of warning, a few people tried the £4 payment on the day of the game last time, and it didn't process in time for them to see the game.

Personally I think it's shown the twats up to be the shit-slinging fucktards they actually are. They're shit at their job and have to make stuff up to sell their papers to retards. They haven't got a clue what is actually happening at the club and it's making them look stupid. Fantastic. I'd think the same if it wasn't for those who believe the papers.

For me, the most annoying thing with this silence policy is that it has given ammunition to the press as 'evidence' of the club conducting Smith and Coloccini deals behind KK's back.

Keegan implied that Owen would be getting one.

Striker.

Nah, it was something to do with their gang being the best of black, and the best of white.

Were they the ones who also abused you in Asda? No, that was some fifty year old white charver father.

Having read his myspace, him and his friends remind me of a group of 15 year old drunks who a couple of years ago followed myself and others around Southampton City Centre shouting: "Hovis!"

All our other youths have turned up in smart clothes to sign their contracts.

Having googled Niles Ranger, and seen the guy caught on camera, I'm pretty sure that they are one and the same.

Been on trial for a week, having previously been on trial at Swindon.

There is a preview of a preview for tommorrow's magazine on the Chronicle website: http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/north-east-news/todays-evening-chronicle/2008/08/08/mike-ashley-exclusive-chronicle-interview-72703-21492315/

New third kit would have made a good reveal.

Too slow guys.

Central Midfield.

No they are not, copyright and all that.

Newcastle United is the club where dreams come true, only you wake up just before fulfilment.

Arda Turan

The apparent ousting of Smith shows that time and time again, Keegan knows what the club needs.

I'm optimistic Dave.

Paul Dickov mk II IMO

Johnson's main attribute is how he speculates, he'll always make the right run into the box off the ball in case the right supply comes in, and he'll try to beat his man in the penalty area/around the box to win a penalty if there are no non-conservative passing options. Owen already does that though, and is a better all round player, so we didn't need him. Besides, Johnson wanted to go back to London for personal reasons.

Derdiyok was a substitute in the Swiss league not that long ago, he'll cope.