James

Want as many people to see this as possible, as it will mean less work on the day.

Probably why I liked it then, as I know almost nothing about music.

Courtesy of latest edition of FourFourTwo, available at all good newsagents, and well worth buying. Arsenal - Air This French synth combo are classy, ephemeral and aesthetically pleasing - though the melodies are often lightweight noodle unnecessarily, and rarely culminate in a satisfying conclusion. Aston Villa - Prince Enjoyed spectacular success in the early 1980's before going downhill steadily. Enjoyed a couple of minor successes since, but most of the time people shake their heads and wonder what happenned to a once-great institution. Blackburn - Radiohead Enjoyed phenomenal success in the mid-90s and looked set for a long period of dominance, but threw it away big-style with a series of amazingly wilful career decisions. Replacing the majestic guitar swirl of The Bends with the piss-in-a-puddle drums of Amnesiac is one thing...but Kenny Dalglish for Ray Harford, Roy Hodgson and Brian Kidd? Bolton Wanderers - The Rolling Stones They may be a set of wizened old fools who have been about for decades, but they can still deliver on the big stage. Charlton - St Etienne Trendy London types who always attempted to do things in style. Sadly, for some reason they never really managed to capture the popular imagination. Chelsea - Coldplay Immensely successful, yet equally unpopular. Nobody you'll ever meet will admit to liking them - perhaps because there is such a ridiculous amount of money thrown at the production, and whats produced is turgid rubbish. Everton - The Beatles A Merseyside outfit whose best days were in the 1960's. They've still got a big reputation and following, but it seems only half their lineup has a pulse. Fulham - The Bangles They work-for-an-E-gyp-tian. Liverpool - David Hasselhoff Both enjoyed glory days in the 1980s when they bossed Europe with some of the finest perms the world have ever seen. Recently emerged from the doldrums to score unexpected hits as varied as Jump In my Car and winning the Champions League. Manchester City - Oasis Yes, it seems far too obvious. But examine the evidence - they're now well past their best, fail dismally in their goal to recreate the heady days of the 1960s, and are prone to occassional bursts of extreme violence. Manchester United - Thelonius Monk The legendary jazz pianist pressed keys which should never have worked together, but did. Fergie meanwhile cobbled together a title-winning side midfield containing the likes of John O'Shea, Darren Fletcher, Michael Carrick and Kieran Richardson. Middlesborough - Snow Patrol Proffessionals who turn up on time and get the job done with minimum fuss. Problem is, nobody remembers anything they do. Newcastle - The Grateful Dead This lot are blessed with an unbelievable number of rabid fans who can see no wrong in their heroes whatsoever. Meanwhile, everyone else who is completely aware of their shortcomings looks on in total bemusement. Portsmouth - Fatboy Slim An ageing chancer who pieces together loads of different bits of old tat to make something which is passable at best. Reading - Velvet Underground Several of Lou Reed's achingly hip tracks basically consist of one droning note which lasts for 847 minutes. Compare and contrast to Steve Coppell holding a press conference. Sheffield United - Razorlight Take Neil Warnock, the most hated man in football, pour him into a pair of white skinny jeans - and voila - you get Johnny Borrell, themost hated man in pop. Tottenham Hotspur - U2 Big on bluster and not half as important as they think they are.[/b] West Ham - Chas 'n' Dave Despite their spurs allegiances, you couldn't get more typical east London action if you strapped Lee Bowyer's head to the axle of his Baby Bentley and went wheel-spinning around Dagenham. Wigan Athletic - Arcade Fire The Canadian hipsters enjoyed much critical success with their initial release. But despite early good notices, in reality their second effort saw them merely treading water, and nobody's talking about them any more. Let;s face facts, their time is already running out.

An interview with former Chelsea, Middlesborough and Charlton striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink about staying in the same hotel as Joey Barton. http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/newcastleunited/chroniclesport/tm_headline=gym%2Dll-fix-it-for-%2Dpound%2D5%2D5m-barton%26method=full%26objectid=19279065%26siteid=50081-name_page.html

Has anyone seen Ben Haim's wikipedia? I reckon we could be in for a bit of a cultural shock if he signs.

Uri Gellar sat behind me once, that was well creepy.

Would anyone take Rossi? I think he would make a good Owen replacement.

He is not a lost cause, but he isn't going to better Ronaldo.

Finish as high up the leagueas physically possible. Ensure that we can do this by combining a top manager with top financial backing, and top players.

There's no way he'd come here, but the impression I've been getting on this board the last day or so is that people wouldn't fancy him even if he did want to come. I agree, there is a strange lack of ambition amongst fans right now. The best name people can come up with is Craig Bellamy.

Very good fair move to be honest to let the worst seats available at the lowest possible prices.

It's illegal to drive without insurance though. A curtailment of liberty, surely. You should be allowed to get your face smashed in when not taking appropriate precautions in car or on a motorbike, too. The main crux issue is that it nedds to be ensured that you have themeans to compensate others involved in an accident. Its been claimed he earns £70,000 a week He could kill someone's entire family in a crash and buy them a new, better looking one with greater prospects from Poland. Yeah, but if Joey Barton is exempt, why not exemplify everyone, including Mr Chav McDole, who proceeds to fail to purchase insurance, and subsequently isn't able to pay a penny of compensation to the guy he proceeds to run over.

It's illegal to drive without insurance though. A curtailment of liberty, surely. You should be allowed to get your face smashed in when not taking appropriate precautions in car or on a motorbike, too. The main crux issue is that it nedds to be ensured that you have themeans to compensate others involved in an accident.

Sounds like another job for Willy McCock

Lets not forget Steven Taylor, Kieron Dyer, Emre, Obafemi Martins, Mark Viduka, Antoine Sibierski, Craig Moore, Oguchi Onyewu, Matty Patisson, Albert Luque, Charles N'Zogbia, Paul Huntington, David Edgar, Tim Krul, Shola Ameobi, Olivier Bernard and Andrew Carroll. Besides, a couple players may be unaware of the appeal having spent much oftheir time training separately from others. I'm sure the majority of our players give to charity, but they can't give to everyone, and I think it is scandalous that someone can effectively name and shame non-participants, who as far as we know, could be donating thousands to many other equally worthy causes. Chelsea did the right thing by donating a collective amount on behalf of the club rather than leaving the players to make individual contributions.

Looking at the alleged £40m budget,, add another £7m from selling Parker, and £15m for Richards is easily affordable. Wouldn't be that much either if City are desperate to sell.

I see Richard's as Englands answer to Ramos, ie a defender equally adept at right back and centre back. A bit like a young Gary Neville I suppose.

Would have been two months ago, but if Manchester City don't complete their takeover, Richards is well within our grasp if we wanted him. No, he is not. He will cost at LEAST £15m and then he will only go to one of the big 4. Billionaire owner Ambitious and highly regarded manager renowned by top players across Europe. Chance to play in front of 52,000 fans a week Chance to play in a team featuring one of the best striker quartets in Europe. Club on the up Club familiar with regular European football Club that can afford to spend £15 million on a full back Club that can guarantee forst team football Someone please tell me why there is no chance?

Would have been two months ago, but if Manchester City don't complete their takeover, Richards is well within our grasp if we wanted him.

Karl Kennedy and Susan got married on one of those London boats today in Neighbours, and Izzy gave birth on the boat. Then Mark Viduka signs for Newcastle on one of those boats. All are Australian - this must be connected.

http://www.nufc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10278~1033944,00.html

Tevez would be a dream signing.

If I was Sam, I would turn up at his wedding, then stalk him all the way through his honeymoon until he agreed to sign.

Today had been going so brilliantly...

I think there is a one-two with Darius Vassell involved there.