SUNDAY 6 JUNE
12.00-12.30, ESPN: FIFA World Cup Official Film 1978
18.00-22.00, ITV1: Soccer Aid
There's no other football match like it. Where else would Zinedine Zidane pick up a lovely through ball from Mike Myers? Where else could you see Ricky Hatton elbow Gordon Ramsay off a cross or Alan Shearer embarrassed by some neat footwork from Simon Baker, star of The Mentalist? These names and dozens more join forces for an England v Rest of the World match in aid of Unicef.
21.00-22.00, BBC3: Wags, Kids and World Cup Dreams
Five WAGs experience the reality of life behind the World Cup gloss by working in some of the poorest, most deprived neighbourhoods in South Africa. The WAGs fly to White River, a poor rural district with one of the highest rates of HIV infection anywhere in South Africa, where their job is to work as foster mothers to children orphaned by AIDS. But for one of them the desperately poor conditions proves too difficult to deal with.
22.00-23.00, ITV1: Piers fucking Morgan's fucking World Cup South Africa Tosspotathon
In the build-up to Africa's first ever football World Cup, colossal twat Piers Morgan journeys to South Africa and finds a country with a passion for football even greater than his own massive fucking ego, the prick. He also discovers how the country has progressed since the end of apartheid twenty years ago.
22.00-23.00, ITV4: Soccer Aid Extra Time
Post-match bollocks
If I've missed any, please add.