Keefaz

Feel a bit sorry for Birtles. Clearly being forced to watch a sport he absolutely detests.

Boooooourns.

Sissoko-Anita looks alreet.

Birtles is a joy to listen to, like.

These deep crosses are a waste of time. Rubbs.

Shola must have mad-shaped feet. Like pyramids or something.

The Shola-Cisse partnership isn't the greatest football pairing I've ever seen, like.

Howay, ref, ffs. You can't hold up play for a bloke tying his shoelaces, man!

Final ball still rubbs. Decent support up front until we hit the box.

Actually first to some 50-50s for a change.

Brilliant, then disappointing, from Sissoko.

Best start for about a million years.

Would be great for a local lad to make the grade. Seems a nice fella too.

He's a fucking minger.

Christ. It's Morecambe. Let's batter them and get on with it, ffs.

Some of the slowest counter-attacking I've ever seen. A lot of hesitation. The players looks like they're in two minds as to what to do, which might suggest over-coaching rather than just letting them get on with their natural game.

Oh, fuck this.

Good ball in by Shola Jr, tbf.

That first touch.

Ben Arfa runs the ball out of play more than any other player I've ever seen.

Glad we're giving it a good go, but, man, we're missing quality.

Better.

The movement's fucking shit.

Well, that was balls.

I take it he's not expected to play today? Absolutely fucking criminal if so.