Keefaz

Martins doing a Martins.

Duff >< Zog

Why would we want Carroll in midfield?

Oh, god. I can feel us slipping here. Come on, you fuckers.

Cheer up, lads. We're play alright here. Need to keep it tight for 5 minutes and make another push.

Smith is in midfield.

Bet Smith is into midfield.

Chanting for Martins now.

God, I'm shitting it here. We deserve to winning here, but can't score for fucking toffee.

He needs to put these away. We're in the shit and we need to take our chances.

Another great save from Owen!

McCarthy <> Jason Roberts Emerton <> Derbyshire

Aye, great support.

Fuck me. COME ON!

Some good pressure here. Howay, you bastards.

Stop the press! Smith has a shot! A terrible shot.

God, we're so shaky when we don't have the ball.

Oh, god.

Owen, man.

He's got 18/20 for handling on FM.

Doing very well at Stoke by all accounts.

They do have a lot of songs, tbf.

I heard a good training method is to play Wall with someone else. You have to kick the ball at the wall in such a way that the other player can't return it, so you end up having to play the ball at some really awkward moments which you otherwise would avoid. Wallie! Its been a while. What a game! is that not the game known as "spot" ? and isn't keefaz's wembley doubles not "world cup doubles" ? "garages" was my own personal favourite Dunno. Wallie is definitely also called Spot. World Cup doubles was called Wembley Doubles in my street, or just Wemblies, or just Cupsies.

It is a brilliant game. I suggest all the time at 5-a-side and the other lads look at me like I've gone mental. Having said that, we played Wembley doubles the last time we played.