tmonkey

Ashley Cole being a cunt as per usual.

It's like playground football, when you're playing with your regular group of footie chums and one of your non-sporting classmates who never, ever plays football and hasn't kicked a ball in donkey years gets talked into entering a game and says "oh fuck it, it's a bit of exercise I suppose". They stand around looking dazed, unsure just what the fuck is going on around them, and every time the ball comes to them it's like watching a drunk clown on stilts with giant shoes fumble around tripping over themselves for a few seconds before being mugged like a helpless toddler. Shola was worse than that today.

He's turning into an amazing striker. He'd be even better if we stopped punting it to his head at every opportunity and played it into his feet more.

Exposed badly, but clearly the tactics were at fault. My finger would point at Pardew underestimating the pace of Long and Odemwingie.

Really frustrating to see players ignore him when he's open and close to them, as though they think they're too good to go for the short/obvious pass and would rather make a more telling pass themselves. If Barca with some of the best players in the world are happy to do short "useless" passes to their best player (Messi), so should our fucking players. In fact it should be a rule written in stone and nailed above the dressing room: "You lot must pass to Ben Arfa you shit cunts".

He's been s*** since the Stoke game, as though he's forgotten he's a winger and not one of these wide creative playmakers who gets others to do his running. No longer runs at his man down the outside and thus isn't stretching teams or carrying the ball as effectively as he used to. He's cutting inside far too often too. He's had spells like this before, iirc for a good chunk of last season when he was letting Jose do all the attacking. Someone or something then fired a rocket up his backside and he turned back into the "winger Jonas", but seems to have reverted again after that Stoke performance. At the same time it might be Pardew asking him to cut in more and look for goals (as well as helping the left back out more).

He really should be a backup fullback for us. At this level we can't afford to have a fullback who is so poor on the ball and always goes for the "punt it high" option due to a lack of ability.

Ben Arfa assist, but fuck me what a strike. FIFA tastic.

Hahah.

Long pwning Coloccini again.

We're 2 goals away from another Hodgson face-rub. Come on!!

Fucking hell Simpson.

That was a counter worthy of Barca from WBA there. Came from a shitty long ball from us too. Embarassing.

Another goal for Ba, but another (correctly called) offside. Come on lads, get back onside quicker!

Fuck me, his nose was completely different back then, today's George is Pinnochio by comparison. What age does to a man's nose

As one poster likes to put it, we're a "kick and rush" team.

West Brom look the better side to be fair. Some nice passing and movement.

It's the most frustrating sight in football. If he's somehow managed to get past his man (usually off the ball) and has acres of space to exploit, he actually slows down and waits for his man to catch up so that he can try dribbling past him. As though it's some sort of retarded mind game he's playing - "I have pace and you think I'm going to use it, but muahahahaha I won't". Needs to be shown a few videos of Keith Gillespie in his (short) prime. Just leg it down the flank and whip it into the box ffs. Also think his wingplay when he's supposedly playing "alright" flatters to deceive, and hence he hasn't put in a single good performance this season since becoming a starter. Reminds me of some of the issues with Milner back when he was a winger for us, namely the constant checking in and out before getting an aimless cross in that did nothing other than make himself look good. Delaying putting in a cross like that makes it all the more difficult for his teammates to score should the ball "luck" it's way towards them, as the opposition defenders are all in position and our strikers are standing around having already made their run. It doesn't help that on top of this delay Obertan's crossing technique/ability is abysmal - no accuracy, floated in as opposed to being whipped/bent in with pace, played behind instead of in front, etc etc. Without having seen much of him play in France, and trying to be fair to Gabriel, he's clearly not a winger, so if Fergie's scouts had spotted something in him beyond mere pace I'd guess that he might have looked decent in France as one of those "continental wide forwards" in a 4-3-3 system in a team where crosses into the box aren't a significant part of the gameplan and a league where players back off a bit more. That might explain the inability to cross, the shiite wingplay, the lack of tracking back, looking like he's a fish out of water, etc etc. Slightly similar to Albert Luque at Deportivo, who never really seemed suitable for a standard 4-4-2 system in this country. The simple solution should be to drop him, play Jonas down the right and Ben Arfa down the left, with both players swapping flanks. But with Pardew being so stubborn, our only hope is that Obertan is smart enough to learn from his mistakes.

Unless Ben Arfa did something. Face it, he has form, and has been benched by a variety of managers at various clubs. But, as pointed out a million times already, Pardew has his own form with Tevez/Mascherano.

Looks like he's a manager who lacks the balls to change things and go for the win - he'd rather just wait and hope for things to go his way, even if it clearly isn't working or there are certain players (ones having a 'mare and doing sod all) who he should be replacing. It's like the Spurs game a few months back, it's 1-1 and a fairly even game, so in the 60th minute Redknapp makes a change that sees his side go from one up front to two, i.e. he's going for the win. Pardew just twiddles his thumbs like a helpless bystander and only makes changes once he's forced to. Similarly, had Swansea scored an early 2nd half goal today then just like that Spurs game, Pardew's substitutions would, without a shadow of a doubt, have been completely different.

Either Obertan's missus is warming Pardew's bed as we speak, or Obertan gives Pardew a cut of his wages every week (cash in a loose white envelope, Sopranos style). Only explanation as to why he's still on the pitch.

Get Obertan off ffs.

Sounds saucy

Who are Sports Direct?

Unlucky Jonas.