Kitman

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/8796/2007121720gyi0051129944dh5.jpg Pele: "Don't suffer in silence. If you're having problems with sex, see your doctor today. I would". Blatter: "Me too. Since I take Viagra my erections are this big, yes!"

I think we were actually looking for conceived but never mind

http://tf.org/images/covers/groundhog_day.avi_download.jpg

is THAT what he's doing??? I thought he had some sort of inner ear problem, and kept running at a funny angle by an accident.

Presumably a long hoof that bounces off Martins' shoulder counts as a completed pass. Provided he's "running the channels" as instructed that also counts as being in the final third, so it's double joy for Big Sam. If it ricochets off Smith's knee on the way through to the keeper it also counts as a shot on goal, all adding to the impressive statistical performance.

what the hell happened to Wayne Quinn anol? Robbie Elliot never had the best luck with inuries either How true, forgot about Quinn. He may have been shite in the first place, mind.

The Fulham match suggests he is a fully paid up member of the long ball merchant club. One of the problems with us is there's not enough variety of play - the occasional long pass is fine imo as long as it's mixed up with passing it through midfield. By 'long pass', I don't mean aimless long hoof Bramble stylee by the way, which is what we've done of late. Our approach seems to be that relentless aerial bombardment into the right areas will pay off eventually.

I reckon Left Back at the toon has become a cursed position in recent years. Like being the drummer in Spinal Tap. Previous incumbents have included Carl Serrant, Olivier Bernard, Celestine Babyaro. Who became a collection of knackers. If only Dalglish had bought that lucky heather from the old gypsy woman, none of this would have happened and Baba would be a toon legend. On second thoughts maybe not.

Luque's training with the kids. Apart from his original hammy, was his injury record that bad? I seem to recall he just couldn't get a game off Glen.....

* Dave snarls at computer * "I'll get you next time Keefaz !"

Didn't notice I deleted my posts then. I weep for the abuse of power that goes on around here

Good point 1878 but up till last season he was pretty indestructible (nickname Lazarus), to the point Harper never got a game. So didn't seem fair somehow.

I meant it was a toon crocks XI - I've amended the title

Because I was bored, I came up with the following team who'd be guaranteed never ever to play together. They'd get to know each other pretty well in the treatment room though This a Crocks XI not a Workshy Malingerers XI although many of the *ahem * players below could get into that side too :-[. Forwards: Owen, Kluivert Mids: Bernard, Duff, Dyer, Bellamy Defs: Babayaro, Marcelino, Woodgate, Carr Goal: Craig Moore Couldn't think of an injury prone keeper so Moore deputises as he's turned up pissed and picked up the wrong jersey in the changing room . Obviously the midfielders are mainly playing out of position but if Allardyce is allowed to do it, so am I. Can anyone do better?

According to Physioroom.com, Carr is injured yet again. Hamstring.

There was also a trademark Bramble sliced clearance which his own keeper had to save to prevent an own goal

I wish I could be optimistic but I'm not. Realistically we're going to get shafted (again) :-[

He'd need to learn English first, other than that, impressive c.v Yes. An England manager who can't speak english is surely not an option. At the age of 61, will he be able to learn a new language? Bearing in mind most people of that age can't learn to use a mobile phone, program a video etc? Yes. He'd probably spend all his time down the supermarket too or the doctors. Pulling a tartan shopping trolley behind him. Counting out his money in pennies. Old people, eh? Fucking useless.

I think they should offer Redknapp the job, just to see the shade of purple he goes under the massive pressure and the huge uncontrollable twitching that will result.

Didn't Alan Hansen use exactly those words? I should sue

You're right. Unfortunately the American football thing would have been all about money and little else. That's what comes from paying an arm and both legs to build a white elephant of a stadium

Big Sam or Big Phil. Anyone as long as they're BIG I doubt Jose would touch England with the proverbial sh*tty stick

McClaren < Sven England = Eliminated McClaren = Sacked Large drinks & golden handshakes all round :occasion16: Now there's a surprise Who could have seen this coming, eh?

I don't honestly see the FA offering him a job after all those bung allegations. Also he's been fairly outspoken as a rule and threw his toys out of the pram after McClown was appointed. They're a conservative bunch generally in terms of standards & the press. That's why we tend to end up with mediocrity instead of excellence, that's why Cloughie was never appointed and we've not moved on much since then. Added to that he's hardly pulled up trees this season and the football's been generally poor.

I'm not surprised England have failed to qualify. McClaren is way out of his depth (he struggled at Boro to keep them up from season to season). As time has gone by he's been exposed as a man promoted above his station. He has that Eriksson patented 'rabbit in the headlights' look about him too. England were outfought, outplayed, outpassed, outthought, outclassed. The defence were a shambles, the midfield absent without leave and our tactics consisted of lumping it up to the big lad, without anyone being there to pick up the knock downs and flick ons. It was embarrassing to watch, as I did, with some Croatians who were incredulous about the way we played at Wembley. You can talk about Carson's mistakes but the team was poor throughout - that's down to McClaren and how he prepared the team; the back line may lack pace but they also made basic mistakes and let the other team run and shoot at us at will. And why pick Lampard and Gerrard to play together when they have never ever worked in the same team? High time for McClaren to go. And the FA should take a long hard look at themselves before they appoint another mediocre yes man.