Ashley17

The closest I can think of is the chance Williamson had blocked from about 6 yards, he's probably counting the pinball before that.

And basically confirming we will have RB issues for at least 50% of our games next season as well Or James Tavernier as that problem will be known

Think Uwe Rosler would be decent but he's probably wary of going to another job so soon

Noticed on Soccer Saturday today in the 3 minutes they dedicated to us they spoke about Micah Richards signing for us as though it was a certainty.

Has it been pointed out we are now mathematically ensured of being NETD again? Time to get the champagne out

I'm 28 ffs but I am tempted. 5 packs for 2 quid in Asda. Got mine this morning. We caved at work today. I got Suarez and Mata and was pretty satisfied. Mate got Ronaldo, Messi & The Brazil badge. Fuck that

Just think how annoyed you'll be when you realise Pardew will probably still be manager when we next play these in a league match

He has a mean strike on him/gives them something [delete as appropriate for which terrible joke you want to use]

Sick of hearing "Pardew is the best we could do under Ashley" Honestly, even Souness didn't have us taking this many beatings.

Been having an argument on twitter for the last hour on twitter with a Pardew supporter. Baffling.

It's just how badly we get beat, especially since February. You can't basically throw half a season and expect to be just fine the next season, ask WBA about that. Quite a few similarities there really considering they've struggled after losing their on loan striker. If we'd spread these mega defeats out I wouldn't be as bothered as at least then we'd have shown character to fight back, as it is roof just falls in and we go games without scoring

I feel now is as good a time as any to roll out this classic:

Can't see it to be honest, think the Italian champions will want better than the Dutch number 4

Our last home game of the season. Boo us, boo them, boo everything

Mata free kick, 0-1

It's similar to the start of the Everton game before Barkley scored

Santon's corners man

Always win when Kevin Friend is ref

Probably be 2-0 down inside 10 minutes. Then he'll move Cisse to the right and to a middle 3 to contain things.

Valencia at right back, fucking hell. Gouffran needs to get at him but he inevitably won't

Gosling on the right?

No. Wasn't an intentional pass to the keeper

What the fuck is he watching!?