Memphis

Spurs/Swansea is an enjoyable match, two teams with smart managers, well-coaches with tactical instructions quite clear. Makes for a stunning difference compared with yesterday. Cardiff should be up 2. Kompany's absence is huge. Amazing how Routledge gets better when he leaves while so many players get worse as they play for us.

Over the last three home matches, which we've lost by a combined 0-7, we've averaged one shot on target per match. We haven't scored a goal at SJP since last March. Opponents have scored 10 goals at SJP in that same space. I don't really know what else can be said.

Was looking at our stats on whoscored...they seem to have summed us up rather well: http://i.imm.io/1fZiz.jpeg

NBC updated the Android version of their app and it actually works - sometimes - on my S4. Still not perfect but a million miles better.

Headline: Pardew believes Newcastle should have won http://www1.skysports.com/watch/video/sports/football/8887333/pardew-believes-newcastle-should-have-won Explain to me how you believe you should win a football match without a single shot on target.

Movement off the ball especially in the center has been nonexistent for a long time with us. It's obviously something Pardew's unable to facilitate one way or the other. We were so static today as we approached the final third - there were so few options other than usually HBA but occasionally Sammy, Sissoko, or Debuchy bombing forward and trying to make something happen. It's gone on far too long for it to be merely an issue of personnel. It's why I'm so indifferent about the transfer window - even if we bring in quality, we tend to coach it right out of players.

Some serious Stockholm syndrome happening if you were even remotely pleased with that performance.

We were marginally better in the period when it was the three of Shola, Gouffrran, and Sammy up front. Marginally. But it just only highlights the point that we do not have the manager at the moment to get the best out of what is a decent, if small, squad. We have technically gifted players without a lot of physicality - Sissoko aside - and Pardew's prehistoric mindset doesn't allow for the kind of movement needed to take advantage of their strengths. Oh, and fuck Cabaye. I saw that somehow Baines and Fellaini both managed to put in a shift for Everton at Goodison despite interest from Manchester united. How in the fuck did they manage that?

Obviously the 3 up front of Sammy, Shola, and Gouffran, while none of them particularly great, were a much better bet going forward than the "partnership" of Shola and Cisse. Turgid turd shit on the whole though. Fucking disgraceful really to see that piss-poor attacking threat. Fortunate to get a point in the end - when you don't have a single shot on target you always are.

I believe they're saying "Par-DEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW"

9 attempts, none on target. 57% possession but haven't looked at all threatening. Shola is just so bad - was hoping his physical presence would help Cisse but so far nothing of the sort. HBA's a little overeager, isn't he? Not that there's a lot of great other options at the moment.

Our setup can wring virtually any and all genuine quality out of a player without fail (exceptions being HBA - while fatter - is still a maverick force and Colo is Colo). Santon - from favorite of Mourinho and future star to possibly not as good as Paul Dummett Yanga-Mbiwa - from French international, young classy CB to CB/FB(?) squad player who looks lost Sissoko - from Yaya-lite, a central midfielder with power and quality to a player tried at #10, on the wing, and in the centre without much direction Cisse - from natural goalscorer and scorer of amazing goals to being played on the right and as a lone striker and looking totally clueless Tiote - from powerful destroyer with flashes of class to out-of-control liability Cabaye - from classy French international with style to tetchy, injury-prone question mark who many can't wait to see the back of Debuchy - from coveted target, true RB, first-choice French international to a true question mark at RB who gives away needless fouls and looks lost While I've no doubt Pardew is indeed the symptom and not the disease, there's no doubt he is ballsing this thing up royally and giving it the opposite of the Midas touch. His influence has turned gold into shit - and will continue to do so. It's not only him, of course, but he clearly cannot deal with creative talent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqma7f7ecxk

Well we don't know if he was desperate to play, just like we don't know he refused. That's my point exactly. It's disappointing on either score. If he was withdrawn by Ashley/JFK etc to keep him healthy, as a leader, you'd want him to fight for his right to play in the match he's prepared an entire summer for - and I'd suspect Pardew wouldn't fight him. Obviously he didn't. And certainly no one can be shocked he's been bid for by Arsenal or anyone else, to use that as an excuse is a joke. Not surprising, just disappointing. A disinterested Cabaye wouldn't have been any worse than anyone else out there.

Don't you think a player who really wanted to play would have made it clear by being in the stadium, hanging about, refusing to leave, kicking up a fuss, etc? Cabaye was out of there like a shot. Whether or not it was his decision, he didn't put up much of a fight to play.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/arsenal/10252371/Yohan-Cabaye-approach-rejected-as-Arsenal-launch-derisory-12m-transfer-bid-for-Newcastle-midfielder.html "Dick Law".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/2196599.stm I remember when we were the ones beating teams at home 4-0 on the opening day...

Really does feel like 5 years ago. Toxic air around the place. Joe Kinnear comes around and it all goes to shit. It was headed that way anyway.

Debuchy's head was certainly turned there.

http://s9.postimg.org/ndvjhgrhr/wtf.jpg Sums up the night right there. Four players through. Can't believe they didn't score.

Ironic that Yaya went to celebrate with another famous head-turner Nasri...

Atmosphere at SJP for West Ham has the potential to be extremely toxic. Cabaye sold (presumably), no one bought, followed by Andy Carroll scoring against us... Massive pressure already on Pardy Pards and we've barely begun.

Don't look bothered, don't look interested, don't look like a Premier league team - and won't be with this level of play. HBA and Colo are pretty much it in terms of anything resembling not a catastrophe.

Never a red but Taylor is so stupid it's unbelievable.

Did we also get a sneaky bid for Sissoko and he decided not to play either?