Unbelievable

Howay the lads!

There is legitimately not one player in it who makes me in the least bit calm. To be frank, take Enrique out and theirs is pretty too. Should be lots of goals in this. Can we borrow Xavi and Messi for the afternoon, please? No. How about Pique and Dani Alves? You can have Shakira and Fàbregas' mullet. If you throw in your captain's armband we have a deal.

I'll say this beforehand, as later in the afternoon hindsight may have proved it a wrong decision, but kudos to Pardew for a genuine "attack is the best form of defense" mentality today. I'm very concerned and extremely excited in equal measure...

There is legitimately not one player in it who makes me in the least bit calm. To be frank, take Enrique out and theirs is pretty too. Should be lots of goals in this. Can we borrow Xavi and Messi for the afternoon, please? No. How about Pique and Dani Alves?

Let's prove him wrong!

I hope the free transfer stuff isn't true, but it sounds like our defence will be great going into next season. Apart from Hoilett (who every Premiership club will be after), are there any interesting free transfers this summer?

Tiote is going to be have to be on top form if we're going to get anything from this like.

3 championship defenders, 1 goalkeeper and 7 footballers.

Holy smoke, we're going for it!

Team: Krul; Simpson, Williamson, Perch, Gutierrez; Guthrie, Tiote, Cabaye; Ben Arfa, Ba, Cisse. Pardew has grown a pair!

So erm, any team news yet?

Brilliant pic on the BBC football website: http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/59420000/jpg/_59420066_59420065.jpg

This is true. I'm gonna put us back to normal in about 10mins. But yeah, say that if you like.

Why would Barcelona get rid of Tello? He's only just appeared on the scene and looks like a player who could make the grade for them, no?

Same, it was only there that I realised it was an April's fool..

Nearly had a heart attack.. Glad to see we're back!

Aye, they should hire Brucey for the first half of the season and let Moyes take the second half. They would be title contenders.

Wenger you sour cunt

Fantastic goal Taarabt

The great man motivator..? WTF?

If he keeps performing at this level (mainly WBA, but he's been very effective whenever he's featured this year) and there are no more doubts about him being able to regain his old level after the injury he suffered last season, do people expect "bigger" clubs to come knocking in the summer? I seriously hope not, and I would like to think Hatem realises we are the right club for him right now and for years to come, but if it were to happen, what would be the minimum you would sell him for?

Where are all the mackems?