Ronaldo

Holt's the worst of the worst, like. As pretentious as they come.

Seems to think he'll be playing on Sat.

Said that Barton doesn't have the quality for a top 5 side. Truth hurts.

An influx of signings?

Thick as pig shite.

Every keeper in the world has been referred to as a good shot stopper. It's the easiest aspect of keeping. Rob Green is an average shot stopper and a subaverage keeper.

Won them the FA Cup last year? Has put them in a position to challenge for the league. Deserves another season (unless it does tits up early). I didn't say he, or even that style of footy, wasn't successful. All I'm saying is that if my team had spent £500 mil on players and deployed 'safety' first tactics, I'd be getting awfully frustrated. Especially considering the potential of the squad available. Awfully frustrated with an FA cup and 3rd place? Right.

Krul did pretty well at the end of last season, and Forster looked a bit dodgy for Celtic in their last 6 games or so. Factor in pre-season, and you have your answer.

Harper would have stood still, picked it out of the net, and kicked it angrily with a red face.

He won't.

Steve Harper special, that one.

Nah, not even he is daft enough to have really meant that.

Robert Green.

No surprise that Mark 'Coloccini and Enrique are shite' Lawrenson agreed with him.

Touched his studs.

Naughty.

Nolan's not very good.

We paid well over the odds for Owen. No other club was stupid enough to offer anything like it.

Decent delivery? A proven (admittedly mediocre) Premier League pedigree? Not such a risk, but instead a solid player at the least? We have solid delivery. Obertan will give us more.

No more Smith, ever.

No chance, man. What would Larsson have given us this season?

Are you from Jersey?

Shola isn't getting on the end of chances, though. He's ambling around, falling over and trying to conserve his energy in the hope a cross will eventually land on his head. He's looked shocking throughout pre-season.