Ronaldo

Can't imagine what he'll spend that on.

Yep.

I'd be really interested in why that kid was chosen, because he looks like he's never played in goal to any respectable junior level. Leading with your nearest arm in the dive is one of the first things I was taught as a keeper when I was about 8.

He has plenty of games - mostly at home - where he doesn't really make an impact.

Ancelotti had no say in the signing of Torres.

Yep. When it matters he's the best striker I've ever seen play on these shores. When you look at them both on and off the pitch, it would have been a real travesty if Drogba and Lampard had failed to win the Champions League.

What a prick. When people experience strong emotions they often say daft things. Doesn't make them a prick.

How haven't you lot figured it out yet, man? 'Santon from Juventis' for crying out loud. Keep it up, Tyson. They're funny, all the same.

Are the posters still up?

At the start of the night I wanted Bayern, but fair play to Chelsea. Quite ironic that they've won it with a dilapidated squad of CL 'failures' who are finally playing for each other. Pleased for Drogba, Lampard and Harry.

Oh good, the 'Ben Arfa playing central' argument is back.

You should be giving him a crack.

If a Mackem said that to me I'd hurt him.

Do you mean Tevez? Because they have about 5 players a class higher than him. Yes I did but I take your point. As a team they are superb but as a club they're in the gutter. Fair enough, but as individuals I have to concede I admire them. Aguero's a fucking genius, he's got to ability to go down as the greatest player in PL history. Toure's a physical colossus, Kompany literally has everything and will only get better, and Mancini's such a passionate nutcase you've got to love the guy.

Don't forget Shaka Hislop.

If you're saying Capello did a better job than Sven, you're insane, frankly.

2 sets of fans despise him and to the other 2 he's completely irrelevant. Repeat the above to the next idiot you encounter who says he was a great player.

Yeah, like that happened. You've got idiots like Henry Winter still saying he should be in the England squad.

He was better than his predecessor, that's about it.

Say whaaaaaaaat? Seriously? And what time of the year should that "sacking window" be? Not in the summer presumably. Lot of them are fucking insane.

He has started 6 games in 3 years. League games? Surely it isn't THAT bad if you take CL and the cups into contention. League Cup League Cup Europe Other Total Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals 31 5 3 1 7 7 8 5 2 0 52 17 Here's who he got his goals against: '11-'12: Leeds x2, Aldershot. (Both League Cup) '10-'11: Bolton, Blackpool (League). Southampton (FA Cup), Scunthorpe (League Cup) '09-'10: Wigan, City, WHU, Villa (League). CSKA Moscow, Wolfsburg x3 (CL) The snivelling little c***'s finished. Still hasn't scored in a league start since January 2009.

Do you mean Tevez? Because they have about 5 players a class higher than him.

Quite clearly.

That's one of the best lines in movie history, like. I actually said it to a used car salesman once.

To be honest he's about a tenth as talented as what people say. When his pace went his mediocrity as a footballer was exposed.