Ronaldo

No, in a word.

Which Ben Arfa goal?

It's scary mismanagement. No idea how they managed to make enough money to buy the club in the first place. They're from India, right? Without knowing anything about them they were probably born into the 30% that have money as opposed to the 70% who work as slaves.

3 goals at Old Trafford, man. I think it took them till January (seriously) to score twice at Ewood.

Wouldn't say that's a horror, like. In some cultures of third word countries like Northern Ireland that's a warm welcome. Anyway, since that Liverpool game 18 months back I've been consistent in my love for him. Even when he severely angered me by picking Smith and Lovenkrands.

Here's my worst:

Pardew had no choice but to take it really.

Fair play to Roeder for that.

I really, really want Wigan to score.

To be fair, NUFC were (wrongly) suggesting it in 2008.

Getting rid of Samba was inspired.

"Broken (digital) clock, twice a day" comes to mind.

What the fuck is Venky's chicken? I've never heard of it outside of their Blackburn association, which in itself makes it the last thing on earth I'd eat - and, Christ, do I eat a lot of chicken.

Kean reminds me of (an ugy version of) Cotton Weary. Might be the nose.

Nicely done.

I agree.

Not often I disagree with you but that's twice in a minute. I think he's very consistent.

They've had nowt to play for for a while. They're still winning.

you've just made that up haven't you? Of course he has.

Jesus f***ing christ, what a f***ing c*** this man is.

They certainly should be.

The clean sheets we've managed playing 4-3-3 suggest it's just as solid as 4-4-2.

Who's living room?

Shurrup man. Stand 100 yards from it.

He's done OK.