oldtype

After getting raped by Man Utd and facing a relegation dogfight, he finds time to fish for a contract for his pal. Good to see he has his priorities sorted. Kind of hard to say that your best mate's a useless piece of shit when asked by a journalist, isn't it.

Can we have some of their points? Please? sigh.

I think we'll win. Surely the players know that they'll not walk off the pitch, or walk anywhere else ever again for that matter, if we get relegated by Sunderland at home.

Invariably works very, very hard every game and seems to care a lot but unfortunately never produces any end product. The Alan Smith of the wing?

Very true. If we manage to stay up.... who on earth would sign Alan Smith ? Us to go down, Reading to stay up and sign Alan Smith. Nah, Coppell's smarter than that.

mackems.gif mackems.gif mackems.gif Jesus.

Very true. If we manage to stay up.... who on earth would sign Alan Smith ? If we go down, who on earth would sign Alan Smith. If anything, the s**** are likely to linger (Butt, Barton, Taylor, Duff), with the potentially exciting and decent players f****** off (Martins, N'Zgobia and err that's it). I actually find this very likely tbh. Relgation would probably mean we would lose most of our servicable players (Given, Milner, Zog, Martins, Faye, Beye, Taylor, Owen) to mid-table teams and some borderline ones (Duff, Viduka) to newly promoted sides (with the likes of Enrique and Emre probably f****** off to some foreign team.) What we'd be left with is the likes of Smith, Barton, and Butt who realize that they'll probably never get a contract at a Premiership side again and decide to stay along and be passengers. We could very much be facing our first season in the Championship with the very worst of this year's crop along with a mix of newly-purchased dross and kids from the Reserves. And Shola Ameobi. Not a comforting thought.

A stroke is not brought on by typing swearwords. You are one of them that takes the written word literally, yes? A stroke also wouldn't be bought on by someone being as genuinely angry as you assume i was. Anger is not even recognised as a minor or even registered cause of strokes. are you sure that's my problem

I'll not have a stroke, not yet anyway. Not you, 'was talking about NM. ...Not that I'd want you to have a stroke either mate.

yeah, he's shit, nobody's disagreeing with you. try not to have a stroke like.

Depends what you mean by average. He's not a Premiership player in a month of Sundays. I actually think he's a better-than-average player considering his work rate, physicality, decent all-around technique etc. Purely based on aggregate individual ability he's probably better than the average Premiership player. He just doesn't have a position. He can't play as a striker because Ferguson's failed experiment and a career-threatening injury completely ruined his goal-scoring instinct, can't play as an attacking midfielder because he doesn't have the vision, and can't play as a hard-tackling defensive midfielder because he was never properly programmed with the requisite defensive skillset. If he wants to be a valuable asset to any Premiership side, his best bet is to stay at Striker and train intensively in shooting so he can get that spark back. For now, he's a classic example of "jack of all trades, master of none." so very, very full of s***. Let me pull one from the NE5 playbook. " mackems.gif"

I'm going to throw up if Smith starts ahead of Oba again next week. Surely Keegan can't be THAT near-sighted.

Roeder thought Duff was better than N'Zogbia when he clearly wasn't. N'Zogbia was absolutely shockingly bad for every minute that Roeder put him on the pitch. In the first game after being dropped for the Irish oxygen thief, he came on and ran 50 yards to set up the winner. How rubbish. Then he got dropped again. Dig up posts from a year ago. I don't recall that particular match but the general consensus was that Zog was s***. People liked Milner better FFS. And he was, because he was too busy throwing a hissy fit about not wanting to be here instead of playing. Kind of like what he's doing right now. You'd struggle to fit in more nonsense in a post. Not really.

Roeder thought Duff was better than N'Zogbia when he clearly wasn't. N'Zogbia was absolutely shockingly bad for every minute that Roeder put him on the pitch. In the first game after being dropped for the Irish oxygen thief, he came on and ran 50 yards to set up the winner. How rubbish. Then he got dropped again. Dig up posts from a year ago. I don't recall that particular match but the general consensus was that Zog was shit. People liked Milner better FFS. And he was, because he was too busy throwing a hissy fit about not wanting to be here instead of playing. Kind of like what he's doing right now.

Roeder thought Duff was better than N'Zogbia when he clearly wasn't. N'Zogbia was absolutely shockingly bad for every minute that Roeder put him on the pitch.

The only selection I recall Roeder getting shit over was starting Parker over Butt when Parker was fit. In retrospect, was that such a bad idea? Okay, never mind about Souness. Stress playing Yahtzee with my memory.

I still love the man to bits, and I think we're playing somewhat better football than under Allardyce, but his team selections have been completely indefensible. Say what you want about Souness and Roeder, but they always picked the best team available. Big Sam's selections were completely s***, but at least there was some rhyme or reason to them if you buyed into his footballing philosophy. Keegan's selections on the other hand simply defy reason. There is simply no human reason whatsoever to be picking Butt over Geremi, Duff over Zog, or Smith over Martins. Picking Smith in the midfield and starting Duff up front alongside owen has to rank up there with the worst of Big Sam's tinkering. I simply can't believe Keegan can actually be this inept. There has to be some sort of other factor going on behind the scenes. Perhaps the rumors of "plays if fit" clauses in contracts are true. Perhaps Keegan gets along too well with some of these players and that's influencing his selections (notice how every example in the above paragraph is an English/Irish player starting over a more deserving foreign one.) Whatever it is, it has to stop and it has to stop now. What gives me hope is that he eventually did figure out that we needed to play Enrique, but it took him a long time to figure that out. Hopefully he'll sort out the other things before we're in an irrecoverable position. Either that, Glen Roeder will be having a laugh when he brings Norwich to SJP next year.

None of these players will probably be playing if we go down. Actually, Alan Smith may somehow find a way to still be starting every week. Ass.

Bolton in line to pull of a shock win, the way our luck's been going

Prayer. Constant, intensive prayer. The only remaining answer now.

you know how at the top of the page there's the links to page numbers? And then at the right of those there's a link to the bottom of the page that says "go down"? I just looked at that and did a double take.

It'll be the same team as today - apart from Jailbird Joey replacing Zog. I literally cannot explain in words how angry I will be if this actually happens. Sounds fairly likely though.

could be in the zone by the end of the weekend. oh God I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't think I can cope.

Come on Man City you idiots, why can't you score

you'll probalby have a stroke when you figure out how much Alan Smith cost then.