Mike

That's not a yellow you kangaroo nonce?

This is Bruno's club, like.

Cunt on the line been flagging HORSESHIT all morning. Scoop his eyes out.

Why am I thinking what I'm thinking. Surely we cannot possibly....

You know......we're very very not shit.

We are DYING for another winger.

Fucking hell Miggy.

Old Glory flying proudly in London tonight.

We'd be laughing if we remembered where we left our coupon packet.

USAUSAUSAUSAUSA

Tanking for the draft, ofc.

Be a shame if he fell down a flight of fucking stairs.

Think Fulham are deffo staying up.

Offside rules are fucking mental. Fuck off.

Can't wait to see this replay.

Shit West Brom is playing now. Tabbed hate watching. We've come so far as a species. Just need a live feed of Pardew taking Tinder bathroom mirror selfies.

Cooper is eating soup at the table and Bruce is down the stables stealing some of the horses apples.

Steve Cooper always looks like he's wondering when the staff is going to bring the next course out.

I like how we both casually just sliced Deuce up and he ain't even do shit.

You wanna fucking go, Baltimore-Magpie? You wanna get nuts?!

Vikings fan, Dog? Get yasel in the NFL thread so I can post the vid of y'all missing that kick.

What's the story with Alli? Is he content to just be on Everton's bench now? Why not fuck off abroad or something?