Rocker

He's also been entirely unproductive in the league (on the wing).

Got to break through that rigor mortis.

Not good enough. Sell.

Just seen. It's a cameo, isn't it?

Where's this?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aye, brought back some core memories, that.

You know Freddy Shepherd who comes round with a suitcase? 'Two for a tenner..' 'Yes please, four!'

No one’s lining up to suck me off just because I showed up to work.

I get where you’re coming from and I agree there are positives to his game, especially in terms of pace, directness and willingness to fill in when needed. I also think it’s fair to say he contributes more than nothing overall. Where I differ is that my frustration has nothing to do with how he looks or how he comes across in interviews. That stuff genuinely doesn’t register with me. For me it’s purely about what I see on the pitch. I find his style of play really inconsistent. He seems to pick and choose when he’s fully at it, and one of my biggest issues is how often he stays down after a foul hasn’t been given. Too frequently he’s left watching play unfold from the turf in disbelief, effectively leaving us a man short while he appeals or sulks instead of getting back into the game. Over a season, that becomes incredibly frustrating to watch. When you add in that his goals and assists are, at best, average for the role he plays, it’s hard not to feel underwhelmed. I don’t think he’s useless and I don’t think the criticism should be personal, but I do think it’s fair to be frustrated by a player who flatters to deceive and rarely strings together his best level for any length of time

What have you liked about him?

My first thought was 'we're not playing again are we?!' I was raging. edit: title change mugging me off.

Eddie Howe 4 EVER IDST.

We largely had no choice in the matter.

Who investigates shit like this?

I’m really struggling with what feels like our only attacking idea at the minute. We endlessly get it wide, hit the byline, sling a cross in… and more often than not it’s to absolutely nobody. There’s barely any play through the middle, no real variation, no attempt to pull teams apart in different ways. Our forwards don’t look suited to the volume or type of crosses we’re putting in. Half of them are overhit, a fair chunk hit the first man, and when they do get into the box there’s rarely anyone attacking them with conviction. It just feels wasteful and predictable. The front three just don’t seem capable of creating something out of nothing right now, Harvey Barnes aside. Everything is so rehearsed. Same patterns, same movements, same outcome. Defenders know exactly what’s coming and deal with it comfortably. There’s no guile, no adventure, no willingness to try something different. It’s football by numbers, and when it stops working we don’t seem to have a plan B. That’s the most frustrating part of all.

Definitely soft.

You soft?

Let's fuck these up

That's fucking horrendous. What a cunt.

Just right of Ramsdale, hopefully.

A Supporters Licence should be mandatory before anyone is allowed within fifty yards of a turnstile. Applicants would be subjected to a rigorous, FA sanctioned examination covering all the core competencies of modern fandom. This would include a practical assessment of song lyrics and vocal projection, with bonus marks for lung capacity. There would also be a behavioural audit, measuring your historical and projected use of racial or homophobic slurs. Candidates would then be evaluated on their commitment to dramatic early departures. Can you flounce out in the 84th minute when it is 1 to 1 and declare the game is over, even though it very much is not? Can you do it loudly, while blocking three rows of people and spilling someone else’s Bovril? Only once you have demonstrated adequate incompetence across all modules would you be granted your laminated licence and allowed to sit in the cold, moan about the manager, and go home ten minutes before the winner goes in. Football. The beautiful farce.

I can't believe we're playing again tomorrow. I'm fucking exhausted.