Pilko

http://www.soomaalidamaanta.com/sm/images/stories/mido.jpg I don't own the rights to him, and he certainly doesn't have the traits of a female deer.

He's quite brave if his kids or his Mrs are in mortal peril, actually.

Must refresh more.

http://sila.be/gallery/manu/Michael%20BALLACK.jpg Michael BALLACK - he doesn't lack the ball, he's got it at his feet.

http://cdn.footballtalentspotter.com/contentimages/player/killie-invincible.gif why?

Once again, I was screaming at the telly for him to make a substitution, and once again he was vindicated in his decision.

He didn't make any runs of any sort. At one stage, I thought we'd comissioned a statue of Lionel Richie and hoyed a yellow shirt on it.

Harper 6 Simpson 6 Coloccini 6.5 Hall 6.5 Enrique 8 Routledge 6 Guthrie 7 Nolan 6 Gutierrez 7.5 Carroll 7 Best 5 Subs: Kadar 6.5

Shite. He's had 90 minutes, some people were moaning that he's not had enough time on the pitch to be judged etc. From today, he showed absolutely nothing other than that header at the death. Not enough in 90 minutes. Really hope we manage to peddle this gimp before next season.

We got raped on the wings by Stoke when Shearer went 3-5-2.

You could give Best the freedom of Bristol and I doubt he'd score.

Stelling and Windass

I thought that, he's been saying it all fucking day.

Cian Hughton scores for Lincoln to put them 1-2 up at Torquay.

Any team news filtering through yet?

I think he's bloody hilarious.

Not even watching the WBA game but I've got it on Skirge+

I never do. Have a selection of small bets on tonight: Carroll last goal - £2 Halftime draw, Fulltime Newcastle - £1 Bristol City to score first and to lose - £1 Bristol City 1-1 Newcastle - £1 Newcastle to win to nil - £1 Should (hopefully) see me in profit.

Total cuntstain pile of results so far today. Makes this evening that little bit more important.

Another towel please, Carol.

Harper Simpson Coloccini Hall Enrique Routledge Guthrie Nolan Gutierrez Carroll Best Subs: Krul, Kadar, Ranger, Butt, Barton, Pancrate, R.Taylor

Ryan Taylor did say he was "the longest in the shower" when asked by the Soccer AM team-mates thing.

West Allotment Celtic. They don't come any bigger than that.

You can keep your Europe League thanks, I'm gonna go and watch Whitley Bay I think.