Pilko

Once again, I was screaming at the telly for him to make a substitution, and once again he was vindicated in his decision.

He didn't make any runs of any sort. At one stage, I thought we'd comissioned a statue of Lionel Richie and hoyed a yellow shirt on it.

Harper 6 Simpson 6 Coloccini 6.5 Hall 6.5 Enrique 8 Routledge 6 Guthrie 7 Nolan 6 Gutierrez 7.5 Carroll 7 Best 5 Subs: Kadar 6.5

Shite. He's had 90 minutes, some people were moaning that he's not had enough time on the pitch to be judged etc. From today, he showed absolutely nothing other than that header at the death. Not enough in 90 minutes. Really hope we manage to peddle this gimp before next season.

We got raped on the wings by Stoke when Shearer went 3-5-2.

You could give Best the freedom of Bristol and I doubt he'd score.

Stelling and Windass

I thought that, he's been saying it all fucking day.

Cian Hughton scores for Lincoln to put them 1-2 up at Torquay.

Any team news filtering through yet?

I think he's bloody hilarious.

Not even watching the WBA game but I've got it on Skirge+

I never do. Have a selection of small bets on tonight: Carroll last goal - £2 Halftime draw, Fulltime Newcastle - £1 Bristol City to score first and to lose - £1 Bristol City 1-1 Newcastle - £1 Newcastle to win to nil - £1 Should (hopefully) see me in profit.

Total cuntstain pile of results so far today. Makes this evening that little bit more important.

Another towel please, Carol.

Harper Simpson Coloccini Hall Enrique Routledge Guthrie Nolan Gutierrez Carroll Best Subs: Krul, Kadar, Ranger, Butt, Barton, Pancrate, R.Taylor

Ryan Taylor did say he was "the longest in the shower" when asked by the Soccer AM team-mates thing.

West Allotment Celtic. They don't come any bigger than that.

You can keep your Europe League thanks, I'm gonna go and watch Whitley Bay I think.

He could easily be challenging for England caps within a few years. I realised that we were talking about the future but "easily"? IMO he has nowhere near the technical ability to be able to play for England at any point. Hope I'm wrong about the long-haired beaut however. I don't see much technical ability in Emile Heskey. I was making the point that as the large target man who creates space for a Rooney-type, he will hopefully have a shout in a couple of years.

That's lovely, hope the real thing is similar.

He could easily be challenging for England caps within a few years.

After Heskey, who else is there in the 'big aerial target man' mould? - Crouch is decent in the air but much more than your standard 'lump it at...' target man. Different sort of player. - Carlton Cole isn't good enough imo and Capello has used him sparingly. - K.Davies is good but a bit old now and doesn't seem to get a look in. Carroll would be right to ignore the Scottish call-up imo. He could easily be challenging for England caps within a few years.

Was just about to say that, he was offered it but didn't want it. Wasn't it the other way around? He wanted it and Hughton said it has to be earned? Don't know if I'm right or wrong here... That was what CH said in the media, but my uncle showed me an email from Billy Scott at the Northern Echo, from a few days after Best signed, saying he was offered it but refused to take it.