Ketsbaia

How Lazaar, how Lazaar, how Lazaar. Ooh baby (ooh baby), he's making us crazy. Everytime I look around, he's on the bench.

So that relegates Swansea. They had a good run.

A rare sensible move. Would be great if the rest of Europe followed.

If Benitez rates him highly, then hopefully this gets rid of some friction between him and the club. May not be our #1 target but Benitez hasn't been thrown some shit alternative, he genuinely wants him. That's good, should pacify him.

Mounie to score at least one. A draw.

Newcastle are also assessing a move for the Legia Warsaw and Poland international Michal Pazdan, who has interested Crystal Palace, West Bromwich Albion and Real Betis, since impressing at Euro 2016. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2017/08/14/newcastle-manager-rafa-benitez-targets-five-signings-month/ Another centre back???

Carvalho to West Ham angers me so much. Lucky bastards.

Shearer's volley v Everton didn't even make the original shortlist

Got a decent feeling about this one. Although I felt the same about Doumbia....

Derby and Norwich are tougher on paper, mind. They're both selling any decent player they have.

They won

The same number as before today

A liability, a thick twat, an idiot. I already had doubts about his Premier League ability but this takes it up another level.

If it wasn't for Shelvey proving ONCE AGAIN that he's a liability, I reckon we could've ground out a 0-0 draw. We weren't too bad up til then. But I'm very concerned about our attacking ability. Just proves how essential it is that we buy at least 3 more players.

Rob Elliot is proof

41 from 7 thanks to Mounie, Salah and Yoshida. Got De Bruyne, Kane, Lukaku © and De Gea to come.

Oh aye. It's suddenly a hard game, which isn't ideal.

Huddersfield today: It's more that Palace were hideous in the first half, yet Huddersfield are still looking vulnerable.

Blackpool won on their opening weekend, still went down.

Oh god, not Rooney.

Still plenty of time for Huddersfield to start their inevitable drop

The mutual Anna Kournikova perv was funny

Cos he's derisory.

The fifth defender may as well be the cheapest 4m and you'll struggle to find one that plays.

£13.7m? We aren't Man City, man.