Ketsbaia

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1268445/West-Ham-join-Newcastle-Wigan-chase-Oldham-teenager-Tom-Eaves.html?ITO=1490

More from TheBig_Sam: Woke up in the middle of the night sucking my finger - with the other hand shoved right up my arse. I'm gonna call it the 'sexy teapot'. I'm in stitches here. Carlton just made a right fool out of Will, while Uncle Phil got really angry with Geoffrey the butler. What larks. Need to get the lock on the bloody bathroom door fixed. Was having a bubble-bath wank there and the missus just walked right in. I was right at the point of climax, shouting "sink the Belgrano, Big Sam!" when I noticed her glare. She'll use this against me. Whore. Get in - my vintage WWF Legion of Doom spiky shoulderpads have arrived from the internet. Lets see that cunt in Homebase throw me out now.

Don't Belgium have lots of team spirit problems? I read that the dressing room is normally at war. I agree they should be doing a lot better though. If they had a good striker (not Lukaku) they could be very dangerous.

I'll have just finished Uni so I can watch every match (apart from the final group stage matches when 2 matches are simultaneous!!). I'm so excited, I think I might create a World Cup shrine around the TV. I'll probably have 3 wall planners, which is completely pointless but who cares.....IT'S THE WORLD CUP!!!

Champions League and administration?? Sounds like an exciting season....

Mentioned it a few pages back, but Anthony Annan is the CM powerhouse that we need. He's the one!

Inter played well tonight, but what impressed me about Barcelona was that even when 'panicking' they didn't change their style......just kept playing patient, beautiful football and created plenty of chances from it. they just need to SHOOT! the 2nd leg is going to be great, although part of me thinks its a 0-0er. Mourinho

Could still get us into the playoffs tbh. The DJ playing "Who let the dogs out?", "You ain't nothin but a hound dog" and the Dog Tannion theme

TheBig_Sam is hilarious. Heres some of his latest: Was walking back from bingo when some cabbie shouted out: "Heading home for the election debate, Big Sam?" I yelled back: "Yep - if 'election debate' is another term for having a wank on a bean bag while listening to 'Dark Side of the Moon'". Was phoning round all the local taxi firms, hoping to get a lass on the other end so I could do a bit of my patented phone flirting. Eventually got one. Rhonda was her name. I tried all my moves but the cow just wasn't biting. Decided i'd better bring out the big guns. Told her I'd like to make love to her "via the back door". "Right up the wrong 'un, Rhonda," I said. "Right up the biscuit aisle." Big Sam now plays the waiting game to see if she's got the balls to go to the cops, like she said. Might go hang around outside that new nightclub at the end of our road - pick off some of the young lasses who don't get in. Get fucking in - the missus just went to the shop and brought me back a Snickers Ice-Cream and the new Panini World Cup 2010 sticker album. The missus wanted a go at placing one of the stickers, so I let her put in Dario Veron of Paraguay. As usual, she fucked it up. It's wonkier than Heather Mills on a skateboard. I exploded. Called her a "pile of fucking arse seepage" and give her a kick on the muff. I've calmed down now, though. Sent her on to bed so I can tuck into this Snickers and catch up with the lovely ladies from 'The Hills'. I'm in a right horny mood. Had a high-intensity wank while running on the treadmill earlier. The cleaners will earn their money today. Just finished a 47-minute MSN chat with Sir Alex. It had everything. It was informative, entertaining, educational, sexy AND intriguing.

One of several threads tonight that are future Hall of Famers

Exactly. It must be a man (a hideous man, but a man nonetheless)

Every year, we have to put up with other fans' pitch invasions and dressing room celebrations. Finally its our turn

First time in a while that we've had the same manager all season (unless.....)

What thought process made him think "These celebrations are great, I've got to tweet this"?

We fucked that ass up, Larry!

Talk about putting a downer on things....... Suppose he's right though

What a night

This feels pretty amazing. Ok, it may not be the FA Cup or the Premiership, but lets just go mental!!! Its a once in a blue moon feeling. Fantastic season, well done to everybody involved - even Nicky Butt! WE'VE ACTUALLY WON SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words fail me there

I really hope Plymouth come straight back up. That was classy, gracious and fantastic of them Quite emotional seeing the scenes at the end. Can't wait for Saturday

......anybody. we've only went and won the bloody thing

So who'll get in there first on the "We can't be caught" thread? Server crash probably

Surely they've earned the right by travelling all that way down there? perhaps. bit harsh on plymouth fans who've just been relegated though.

they're gonna pitch invade, aren't they?

Best will score tonight