Neil

Cheeky ITV spying the substitution.

He just isn't scoring.

Says Mr Torres-to-score-first.

"OK, OK, we've given you a goal. Very funny." 60 seconds later. BOSH. 4-1.

Oh well. 4-1, ridiculous goal.

Shakhtar finally take a chance.

Now now, wormy. Don't do anything silly.

So you worked out what you were betting on, it was good value and you were confident in it - then you bet on the opposite, essentially?

ITV studio applauding the Man Utd goal in the middle of thousands of Chelsea fans. Probably hoyed their vol-au-vents at them in disgust.

Oh dear.

Nah. That was a sublime ball and run. So hard to defend.

Alves! That crossfield ball man. Every time. 2-0.

That was sublime control from Giggs.

Iniesta is dreamy.

Great chance for Shakhtar messed up.

Barca 1-0 already. Andres.

Shakhtar: Pyatov, Srna, Rakitskiy, Ischenko, Rat, Hübschmann, Mkhitaryan, Douglas Costa, Jadson, Willian, Luiz Adriano Barcelona: Valdes, Alves, Busquets, Pique, Adriano, Xavi, Mascherano, Keita, Iniesta, Messi, Villa Man Utd: Van der Sar, Evra, Ferdinand, Vidic, Rafael, Giggs, Park, Carrick, Valencia, Rooney, Chicarito Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Terry, Ivanovic, Cole, Ramires, Lampard, Essien, Zhirkov, Torres, Drogba So, guess the big news is Messi's fit, as is Ferdinand, Nani out.

What's Everton's goal of the season? Tony Hibbert's where he got the ball in his own 18 yard box, ran and beat 5 players then smacked it in off the bar from 30 yards. Honestly mate, it'd be the king of all boasts over whichever team that is. "You may have beaten us in the last 10 games BUT let's not forget that Hibbert goal."

What's Everton's goal of the season? Arteta vs Man Utd Arteta vs Liverpool Baines vs Spurs to name 3 off the top of my head. Not that I think there's a load like.

It was average.

What's the latest on Messi? Is he injured or "injured"? No Messi and I'd fancy Shakhtar to... well, not get a result as such but I'd fancy them to go into the 2nd leg with a sniff.

Twitter to the rescue again. Thick twat.

Kuqi. oh aye, he may as well be invisible right now. He's only made a couple of sub apps right? totaling about 2 mins? Your avatar.

Dunno, Shakhtar have a chance of troubling Barca if they get out of tonight's game with them still in their sights. I doubt they will, though.

Not sure if it's been mentioned but last night's result has increased the chance of a Real-Barca quadruple header.